robber, then maybe you should share this observation with your future husband. after all, isn't it he who should be insulted by this attitude? his mother seeming to believe he is incapable of taking care of himself, of being a mature grown-up? if she seems to believe he is incapable of deciding himself what kind of wedding he would like, and perhaps even thinks he needs her advice on who to marry, isn't that, at the end of the day, more condescending towards him than to you?
not knowing any of the involved people personally, this is obviously just wild speculation and thinking aloud on my part, so do take lots of salt with it please