Update - well, I have next week off to write the thesis, which is good, and am also only going to work 3 days a week, so that eases the pressure a bit. But have found out that my dog has an inoperable, aggressive cancer - which has just devastated me. She's my best friend (after my partner), so don't how I'll cope. The prognosis isn't good either, but chemo might help....

Am going to miss my deadline, have to nurse the dog, and take it one day at a time...geez, life just keeps getting harder...

Sue, I'm so sorry to hear this. I really feel for you. I hope that you are able to spend some quality time with her. Use us as much as you need in the times ahead. This might be a virtual space but the empathy we feel for you is very real- you're in my thoughts x

Hi Sue and everyone, how are things going?! How's the doggie Sue? I hope you are doing ok, I've been thinking about you a lot.

As for me, I'm just quietly freaking out. I have been given my viva date, and my final submission date. I have 9 weeks to write 4 chapters, and do corrections for 8 chapters. I have moved over to my boyfriends, in a different country which I'm now thinking may not be a great idea. I moved here to avoid distractions that I'd have at home and to save money as I've still not found a job. But it's the first time I've lived out of my country and I'm feeling quite homesick, missing my friends, and I can't get into writing! Plus there is building work going on outside so it;s noisy and he has a noisy night time neighbour who woke me with some awful music at about 3am this morning. I haven't really mentioned it to my boyfriend as I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I'm getting so stressed about it! I just can't believe I'm in this situation 9 weeks before I have to hand in. To top it all off, just before I left I had a meeting with my supervisors, individually, and they both want me to write my thesis in a totally different way, so I'm turning myself in circles trying to figure out which is best, without annoying either one! humph.

I hope everyone else is getting on ok though!

Hi All,

Sorry to hear about your dog Sue. How's she (and you!) doing?

Awww, Algeaqueen, that's not a very helpful situation to be in. I'll be going to other way in month (moving back in with my parents to write up, in another country, but leaving my friends behind here), but I understand how you're feeling as I had the same thing when I moved here to start my PhD. Can you try to turn the tables to your benefit? I.e. you don't have any friends to ask whether you want to go out, so you can concentrate on your work the whole time. It's normal and just fine to feel homesick for a while. Make sure to keep in touch with friends/family on facebook and all, but also be firm and get yourself to do something that takes your mind off what/who you're missing. Whether that is writing up, or going for a walk in the new neighbourhood, or to the shops, or the cinema, keeping busy is always the best advice. And think: this will end. In 9 weeks it will all be done! You have worked so hard to get this far, you can finish it. Even if that means working through building works outside and noisy neighbours. Can you put headphones on and listen to music to distract you from the building noises?

Can you not email your sups and say: "Right, you're both saying different things, you're completely confusing me, and I have to submit in 9 weeks. HELP" If they keep saying opposite things, just go with what you think is the best way forward, or with what is common in your field.

Just keep on going. You're very close, you can finish this and in 9 weeks you'll be free!

Hi AQ, and everyone

Well, things are a little better - and thank you all for your kind thoughts. We're upto day 4 of chemo - which is just me giving the dog a really toxic pill - and she's ok for the moment. She's also on painkillers and a bunch of stuff, and is actually happier than she has been for a while, which is great. I spent last week looking after her, lots of vet visits, and monitoring her, and she's managing ok.

Life is still full-on. Am plugging away still making revisions and have to get a complete draft in by the end of the month. And as I mentioned in another post, I've found the perfect job, in a city 1500kms away, so am deciding whether or not I'm willing to do the long-distance relationship thing again. What a choice - great job in far away city, or stay here and have a great relationship. Today the relationship is winning...

AQ, sounds like you have a lot on your plate! Don't freak out, just breathe, and keep working. Your sups must think you can get all the work done, otherwise they wouldn't have organised your viva date. And just think, a couple more months of this torture, then you'll be free!!!! Your living conditions don't sound ideal tho - can you move back to your country, or your home until you finish? You need to make things as easy as possible for yourself, which sounds like moving back. Then it wouldn't be long before you could move again to be with your bf, and you could start again and not have the thesis hanging over you....

Keep going everyone! We can do this together!!

======= Date Modified 19 Jul 2010 11:29:55 =======
Glad to hear your dog is feeling better Sue!! I hope she stays that bit happier for you now, poor wee thing. I think I missed the thread on the other job, is there no chance your partner can come with you? Long distance relationships are crap but is there any way you can do both? You're having such a tough time with everything, you deserve a perfect job at the end!
Thanks for the advice btw, and Livvie too! I've just moved over so I think it's mostly a bit of culture shock, I wasn't expecting to feel homesick at all, usually I'm crying leaving so I was thinking it'll be great being able to stay! I think it's partly that my boyf has had a really busy weekend too so we didn't really get a chance to have a day off and do fun stuff together like we normally would when we see each other, he had to work yesterday which meant I had to work too cos there was nothing else to do! And I was so hoping for a relaxing day off! I'm in France now and I don't speak the language, so I don't understand the tv, the cinema, the people, the radio, anything! But that was the whole point, as I wouldn't have them as distractions and therefore would do more work! :-) But you're right Livvie, 9 weeks and then I'm free!! Gosh what a scary scary thought!

And Sue, I don't want to move back and this is probably the only chance I'll have to stay here, as I can't get a job over here unless it's a post doc, and there are NONE anywhere for my field! So I'm guessing I'll have to move home and sign on once I submit to keep myself in money until I can find a job or scrape together some funding!

Hey AQ, no, my partner doesn't want to move to this city - it's one where we both grew up and couldn't wait to leave. I'd go back as the city has changed for the better, I still have old friends and family there, and then there'd be this perfect job. But he wouldn't have any of that...our plan was to both move to another big city where neither of us have lived, and both explore and carve out new lives...so, I just don't know.

You do sound like you're in culture shock, and your plan for going to France sounds good. And what an experience! As someone stuck in a regional town in Australia, I envy you!! Can you start to take French lessons? Even just one a week? That would help you a lot, and you'd meet some people and also not be just working all the time. And plan some time with your boy too...

But - light at the end of the tunnel!! You're so close!!

OMFG - I've emailed my thesis to my supervisors!!!! WOOOOO!!!!!!

After the most horrible time lately, with endless, endless hours of working and the stress of the past months and my personal life falling apart lately - I've emailed it off!!! I know chapters will start coming back to me quickly for yet more rewrites, and I still have some referencing to do, but I've reached a milestone.

Am now going to apply for the dream job, and will see what happens. Thanks for the support everyone. Keep going - and let me know how you're getting on.

I'd do something fun if I wasn't so tired now!

MASSIIIIIIIVE CONGRATULATIONS Sue!!! :) I am so happy for you, you should be very proud of yourself!

So sorry for not being on here in a while, I'm just working away like mad, I have a proposed viva date of 30th Sept which I wasn't happy with, as need to submit by mid August (not far away!!!) but my TOOL of a supervisor wouldn't listen and did his usual so I just have to get on with it!

I am on holiday from my normal job for two weeks, but had a good friends wedding yesterday and tomorrow we're all going away to Amsterdam for two day holiday! :) so when i get back I have one week of full time study to tidy up chapters 3 and 4 (1 and 2 are done and finished!) and write my discussion. Send it to sup and hopefully get ch 5 back which i'm still waiting for corrections. So hoping I can submit by mid - late august, but I doubt i'll be sleeping for the next 3 weeks!!!

It's all just so mental, there is a light but it's a bit fuzzy! and my normal job has been crazy recently, we've had a very tough month with a good friend dying of sudden death syndrome, and then finding out another friend was in a serious accident in Mexico, he's on the mend though now, but it was terrible for a few weeks as we couldn't find out anything!

Anyway, enough about me, I hope you're doing ok, I had read some of your posts about jobs and your partner etc, if you're applying for the dream job does that mean you might be going long distance? I hope everything is ok and you're coping. Just focus on the end of this, you're so close and you've worked so hard, you deserve this, and your dream job.

So just keep hopeful and determined and we will be there very soon!!!!!!

right, i'm off to bed before my flight tomorrow am, but a final big WHOOP WHOOP to Sue!!!!!

:p(up)(gift)

Well done Sue. Very pleased for you. And you have a viva date Alpacalover. Keep thinking calm thoughts. One step at a time. Get the thesis out of the way, then worry/deal with the viva.

======= Date Modified 31 Jul 2010 23:44:00 =======
Thanks Bilbo and AL! Was thinking I might have a day off now to celebrate a bit - but nope, job application and references await. Oh well.

Excellent you have a viva date AL - Dr AL is getting v. close!! And three weeks of madness - you can do it, and then will be done!! We won't know what to do with ourselves when we're finished!

Sorry to hear you've been having a bad time lately AL, with your friend's death and illnesses. Sudden death syndrome?? What on earth is that? Sounds v. scary!

Yeh, things are going ok. Am going to apply for this job, not confident I'll get it, as I think it'll attract researchers from all over the world. But at least if I don't get it, I'll know that I didn't get it because of my merits (or lack thereof), rather than my partner's reluctance to move.;-) I also have grave reservations about having to leave my poor, sweet dog with cancer for a little while, as my partner and I would have to be apart for a bit and the dog would stay with him, but I just have to apply for this...

Enjoy your break AL! And keep going!! Breathe, work solidly and don't panic, and you'll get there!!!

Absolutely fantastic news Sue, I'm so pleased for you! You should try and have a day off if you can, you deserve it! Or a light days working at least in case you don't want to break momentum!

And Al, I'm so sorry to hear about everything that't happened, I hope your friend in Mexico is doing ok. And that everyone is coping ok with your other friends death, what an awful situation. I hope you enjoy your holiday though and take some time off to relax!

I've been having a crap time of it myself, it's been an especially difficult few days here. Which all culminated in me having a mini breakdown today and crying for ages! My poor boyf is at a loss what to do with me. I'm just really losing enthusiasm for my project now, it feels like everything I'm writing is crap and that there's no point in doing my research. I mentioned to my sups about a few ideas for a postdoc but they don't seem interested, and my industrial sponsor has just gone off the radar and isn't bothered with what I'm doing. So it's like, what's the point?! Plus there are no other postdocs I can apply for available, so I've got no job for when I'm finished. arrgh! Plus I've got so much work to do still and really don't think I'm going to do it in time! Sorry for bringing the mood down...
:$ Onwards and upwards eh?!

Hey AQ, don't cry!! A big hug to you!!

Keep going, even if people don't seem interested - am sure they are, maybe they just have other things on their minds at the moment? You can't give up now, so keep going. And I know what you mean about feeling your writing is crap - I feel like that too - but the more we write, the better it gets. Are you settling into your new city? No wonder you're upset - you have a lot to deal with. Take it one day at a time, and celebrate the small achievements. Get a hug from your bf every day, keep going, and realise that you are making progress and this will end soon.

Don't worry about the future - something will show up. Thinking about what's next just drains our energy, and we need that to get through this torturous process.

Now I'm thinking that I must be mad to want to leave my partner and dog, who hasn't been so good lately...but I think we all drive ourselves a little mad. Well, I drive myself mad...

Things will start to turn upwards sometime AQ, just keep going! We're thinking of you...

Thanks Sue, that actually really helps make me feel better :)

I was just having such a bad day yesterday, one of those days where you are just too tired to fight against the despair of it all and everything gets on top of you! But today is a new day. I'm still feeling like my stuff is crap but whatever, as long as I get it finished then whatever will be will be. I'm sure my sups won't let me submit if I'm writing nonsense so it hopefully won't get fired back at me in the viva. I'm so conscious when I'm quoting papers that my external has written, I'm worried about making some really obvious mistakes that he'll pick up straight away. But we can only do our best eh?
There has been a town festival here for the past few days and every night I've been woken for a few hours by people having parties and drinking outside on the street, but last night was the last night of the party so hopefully it will be better from now on, I'm one of those people who simply doesn't function without at least 7 good hours of sleep!

And don't think about what you might be leaving behind of you get your job Sue, like you said you should apply and see anyway. If you don't get it then there is no issue of leaving, and if you do get it, you can decide how you feel about it at the time. It's always hard to see what you want when you've got several options and you're not sure. I hope your wee dog is feeling a bit better. (mince)

Hello all

Well Sue, AQ, AL, Bilbo it seems that a lot has been happening since I was last online. I submitted my first draft 5 weeks ago and have been unable to do anything until I get the feedback...there seems little point in editing until then. I thought I would be good and get some biblio stuff done ( i.e.; try to make sense of my HUGE excell database) but guess what. I managed to take a proper break! After a fortnights holiday, housework and making cupcakes I got the hang of relaxing.
But now. I am worried!
I get the feedback next week. How should I prepare for that 2 hour meeting? I have almost forgotten what I have written because I managed to switch off so successfully!
Another big event is taking my concentration at the moment....I am pregnant with first baby!
How on earth to I bring my focus back to getting this darned thesis completed, examined etc before baby arrives! EEK!

Any advice.....anyone????
Matilda