Pjlu, you are so sweet and I love your "support" story. I shall let you know when I finally stand on the other positive side of the horizon. Can't wait! Cheers.

One thing Pjlu, I don't know how you have the strength to do all the work that you mentioned and also finished your thesis in 2010. That is amazing! For me, my self-esteem keeps getting lower and lower as I feel I keep stepping on "S" for the last 2 years. Not that I moan, but after surviving 2 major surgeries, had only 6 weeks to recovery before coming to the UK to do the PhD. My supervisors never asked how I felt even through they knew. I have also gone through hell with supervision issues for the last two years, I don't know how I have survived this far and I am really exhausted!

Hi Hydi,

I am a person who generally has always had a reasonably high energy level but over the last few years, this has certainly been tested. The answer is-I just set goals for myself and work out the steps to achieve them. I set big goals and then sub goals that all link up to the bigger goals. While I am often told I have really "impeccable timing" at work, actually what I find is I always take longer to achieve my goals than I had planned. So from the perspective of others it looks good but internally I know that I usually have to add about 1/3 length of time to any goal or plan to reach it...if that makes sense.

The other thing is that I am doing a Masters thesis not a Phd, so of course this is a much smaller project to manage overall and I am doing it in an area that really relates to my work and something that is based on a problem I have noticed occurring for a while. I have also chosen qualitative research methods, I love writing, story and narrative and my original degree has helped me with learning how to use case study and ethnography...so these are the methods I am using to 'test' my hunch (or hypothesis-based on 10 years or more of on the job observation). My project won't break any fantastically new ground but will shed some light and clarify some tricky areas that tend to be overlooked by the bigger names and fish. Finally, I have always wanted to complete Phd, and like many others here, including yourself, have been encouraged to go down this road by many academics. But, I do have to do the Masters thesis to qualify for a Phd, as after completing original degree and Grad Dips and other workplace qualifications, needed to show that I could manage an independent project on my own. (Rules in Australian Unis are that you do an extra honours year or a Masters with research before Phd- I could not afford to do the extra honours year as my children were then just becoming teenagers and I had to get a decent job to pay for all of the things that they needed for their education,health and lives. So I did that and just waited until now, when I had a bit more time and they had pretty much become independent and left home or are about too...

That being said...it is still hard and I live for my holidays. I had to take some LS leave to get a couple of months writing space for the thesis...so was terribly disappointed when the committee (and disorganised supervisor) took so much time over ethics application but on the other hand, I have completed about half of thesis-the writing is clear and only will need some revision, I am now set to conduct case studies, interviews and analysis and will get a few weeks more leave in May to complete the thing though the data collection is going to take up my spare weekends in the meantime. So it is all good really...but it does take discipline and there are days when I drag myself around...or feel as if I do. The prize at the end...a really good project and result I hope and the invitation to take up a doctorate...but this will be definitely part-time- I have to work to support myself, pay mortgage and to help out my children...that is a given.

The other thing is Hydi, supervisors are really busy and while it would be nice if they supported us, they don't always have the time, sometimes they just aren't particularly supportive people or they are just too busy to notice...it isn't personal. Last time my supervisor rang (I study long distance and mainly telephone conference and email for support), my daughter was listening to my side of the phone call and said I sounded like I was the one counselling and supporting her...she was quite distressed about things happening at the Uni and her own workload...so there you go...it isn't a perfect world but you really have to make things happen for yourself...anyway, I had better stop going on and on and actually go out and get some seafood and fresh vegetables from the Farmers Mart...cheers Hydi and look after yourse

Hi Pjlu, I can see that you are a very determine person and you set out your goals very well, which I am thankful for taking the time to write such long message so that I and all others can learn from you. Talking about ethical clearance, I am glad to hear that you have finally sorted that out. I also currently have an issue with that while recruiting the participants for my next study. I was asking for ethical approval since July and my case I thought should be easy enough as I didn't have to deal with NHS patients. But the School was so disorganised that it didn't know what forms that I needed to fill out, it sent my inquiry to the College level and finally I got the answer that I didn't need to apply for one. I double checked with my supervisors as I felt it was odd not to have the university ethics clearance. My supervisors said that as long as I have that email from the College, I didn't have to worry. Guess what, I was criticising by the chair at panel review meeting recently for not having one and my supervisors said nothing. I had to go back to the School and ask again for the forms. I have gone around the full circle. I don't want to count or reply on my supervisor but something like this when you went around and asked people for help. They said why didn't you check with your supervisors. Your supervisors should approve your consent forms and they should tell you what you needed to do. So what would you say to this, it is rreally frustrating.

Anyway, too much of supervision issues. Funny that you mentioned that I should take care of myself well..guess what, I just fell on the street tonight when walking back to my flat due to the slippery because of the snow, I have hurt my hip badly so now I have an excuse to stay in bed. Well, I have to say that for all the crisis that keep on happening to me, I will have to take this as another Christmas spirit! Oh well!

Hi Heidi,

I hope this doesn't sound insensitive but I kinda laughed reading the comment 'I have gone from being classed by my supervisors as a very good student, have the same level as “Marie Curie” fellowship....'

Not at you but at the sillyiness and politics of the entire thing. So very very quickly someone poor new student is bigged up as the next big thing, only then to fall out of favour with the powers to be.

Take your time to relax as best as you can, make your decision, one that will give your aching heart a little relief and happiness and move forward.

p.s. start a support group for all the other students who are in a similar position