KB - you have my total sympathy and support. In seeking to share the burden of dealing with one jerk, you have unwittingly attracted the attention of another. Hope your research is going well, and I'm sure the situation in your team will work itself out over time. Heifer.

Troll Troll Troll. I think Dispatcher is some sad troll - or a smelly sock!! :-s

Here comes the crowd people had been gathering...Congratulations ;-) Phd_Smug:That is your opinion but not mine ofcourse..(up)

Oh why am I so tempted to reply?! I usually don't respond to trolls but here goes:

Dispatcher - Just as you don't want PhD Smug to have that opinion of you, you shouldn't form an opinion of KB or anyone else here. If you can't say something positive, don't say anything at all. Everyone is entitled to an opinion but not when they offend others.

Here's a good game for you, see how many on this list applies to you: http://www.postgraduateforum.com/rules.aspx

CB

Is that all you can Manifest. Write this in the Conclusion Sections of Your Report. I never Said You Cannot Form Opinions but You Are Blinded with Your Hate. Form Whatsoever. I Resist those Who Oppose IT. A Great Man Once Said ' If you Feel an Insult: Laugh At It:If you Cannot Ignore It: If you Can't Then You Probably Deserve IT'. And Many People Have Shown with Experimentation the Above Theory. Finally, Guys I am not Posting in This Thread to People Who Come Up With Different Names to Fool Others & Themselves As well. All The Best

I am just interested- who are you accusing of coming up with different names to fool people?
KB

KB - let it go sweetie! :-) Gawd, what trolling happens on here at times!

Yeah, you are right Bug, I will let it go, it's not worth any more of my time or energy! Thanks all for your support! Best, KB

FFS - I am off the forum for 2 days and I miss a trolling incident :-s

KB - stop trying to enslave men ;-)

On a serious note, hope the situation sorts itself out. Maybe make a statement in front of the whole group about how you aren't dating at all because of the PhD? that might make him feel less personally rejected.

Yeah sorry sneaks, that was very ill-timed, I will plan my troll-provoking posts more carefully next time! ;-)
Believe me, I have done everything to try to alleviate this guy's upset over what has happened, but it is very difficult to do any more 9 months on when he still refuses to even look at me or be in the same room! Oh well, I guess I will see how it goes, it can't get any worse lol! Thanks, KB

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In Internet slang, a troll is someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room or blog, with the primary intent of provoking other users into a desired emotional response[1] or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.[2] In addition to the offending poster, the noun “troll” can also refer to the provocative message itself, as in that was an excellent troll you posted. While the term troll and its associated action, trolling, are primarily associated with Internet discourse, media attention in recent years has made such labels highly subjective, with trolling being used to describe many intentionally provocative actions outside of an online context.
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I thinK author was more like it. My responses were not aimed to get any reward whatsoever. Author Pursue it to earn some Sympathy and to seek attention. Let's get our already numb Buts together and start researching on this one. I will make sure Plenty of Kalms n Coffee are at hand.

Hi KB, you know, I think some people are just like that: they don't know how to handle the tough social situations that life throws at us all and they go a bit loopy, and start avoiding and cutting poeple off. It's happening to a real-world friend of mine at the minute, at her place of work; only this is a friendship thing: they had a bog standard argument on holiday years ago and the girls hasn't been able to look at my friend since, even though they've worked together for years. My neice is doing it to me too, and I had a friend/boyfriend/ex-boyfriend do it with me at uni. I think it's down to a lack of social skills and not knowing how to resolve things. He may grow up one day!

I think if it gets in the way of your work or that of the team, then something should be done, and it should be dealt with in the way any work issue would be.

You know you've done everything you can, and I'd just leave it for now; he clearly does'nt want to speak to you so leave it at that unless it becomes a professional issue. I wouldn't feel bad about anything, it's not your fault you didn't want to go out with him, just life! Plus it could have been you insticts telling you he was immature etc, which, as it turns out is absolutely true.

I am not even looking at this Sadistic Thread anymore...Goodbye

Hey, thanks Eska. I know there isn't really much I can do, I just really hate bad feeling and would rather resolve it! He has cut a lot of people out of his life before when they have upset him- it does seem to be the way he copes with things, but this has left him with no friends to speak of and without contact with any of his family. I guess he just doesn't know how to deal with things and that is the only way he can cope. But yes, you are right, I can't do anything else now so I will leave it be. If things do blow up at work and he gets into trouble at least I know I have tried everything to rectify the situation and prevent it from happening. Cheers, KB

KB, I think you just have to let it go and let it be his issue. It is hard but obviously you can't be anyone's girlfriend just to make them happy. However, it is his right to handle it anyway he wants-provided he doesn't hurt or harm you. It is probably pretty horrible when he just cuts you off like that but it really is going to reflect more on him than you.

One of the issues when rejected, is that he has made himself vulnerable to you-you have all of this knowledge on him (such as the things you were mentioning about his family and his life) and so not only does he feel rejected but he is angry, hurt and probably pissed that he shared so much with you. He is probably as angry with himself for letting his guard down as he is with you for rejecting him. But none of this is your fault. My experience in the workplace (where lots of such issues happen and make things awkward at times) is to let it go. Don't take it to heart-try (when he is not seriously pissing you off with door slamming) to summon up some compassion and just get on with things. It is probably really hard given that you are possibly all jammed up in your offices together and don't have a great deal of space-but it can be done. Accept also that even when things do smooth over and you are both eventually 'civil' but not much more-you are not going to be friends. But that's okay too. We can't be all friends with everyone and it's okay not to like someone or to need to put lots of emotional distance between someone you once felt very close too. It's okay to not be liked by everyone as well...

I'm assuming that 'dispatcher' is not your subject here btw...