What about email? Friendly emails can build up to something.

My supervisor read your posts (he was being noser at my desk yesterday). From a supervisor's point of view, he said just ask her out: otherwise you will be distracted from your work, and no good supervisor wants that!

sure, jimmyguang_2001@hotmail.com.
btw, juno, your supervisor is cool! ask one of your colleagues out, check if he freaks out..

He he...I don't fancy any of my colleagues, sadly.

Bit depressing today. Others think there is no evidence said staff-member is gay, and you look like you're mad when you explain about body-language etc. I think asking several gay-related questions indicates somebody possibly curious, maybe not gay, but somebody uncertain of themselves. I think I'm listening to others too much, hard to explain, but seems there is something unacknowledged - whatever that may be. Wonder how much easier it is for straight people.

well, error404... i once had a difficult "coming out" to one of my former uni professors, coming out as straight that is (or, as currently living in a straight relationship). she, herself lesbian, had for a long time been of the belief that i was gay. i was always hanging out with my best friend, who is gay, we always went to her classes together. and going to queer events, and women-only parties, and quite often bumping into said professor. i was drag-king-ing and she thought my buddy and i were a couple. when my friend started dating another girl, she was all discreetly not asking what had happened for us to break up (supposedly). after graduating i started working for this professor as a RA, and we got along well and sometimes discussed personal things - and i never quite knew how to let her know that i was, in fact, straight. ha. gave me sort of an understanding for some of the difficulties you face when you're gay!

That's funny. Can see why the prof. may have thought that, as if somebody went to gay-events often, I might think it too. If you spoke about personal things, I might have talked about dating men, but that depends if you thought she may have liked you in that way.

The rational part of my brain tells me to steer clear, i.e., complex situation. The non-logical part thinks there is something odd going on, not conclusively gay, but something odd. She may just be an intense person, and others have warned me about this.

shani, dating your boss will be the most awkward thing, "creepy". luckily, you guys are not of the same sexual orientation. think about making out with someone who grades your paper,ah..

Alright there. Feel like a chat about it off-board, if you want to of course? Sure we all have a fairly anonymous hotmail, gmail address etc.

you will foerever be known as the one who got their PhD because they were sleeping with their supervisor/ a supervisor/someone in power. Also believe me in future job interviews unless you marry this person you will be looked on with suspicion. Be very careful its a small community - good luck

Sorry drwhoknows but that is absolute rubbish

It is a small academic community, as we all know. But I also know academic-couples, and people who have met during their Ph.D. I also know one married staff-once-student-couple. It doesn't raise my radar. The only situation I would think something amiss is if one was involved with the other academically - too much potential for blurring personal/professional.

unfortunately sleepyhead it happened - there was a marriage break up - there was publicity and there were people with memories - sorry

So you are basing your comment on just the one example then? Error has made it more than patently clear that the staff member in question has no relation to their work and cannot 'help' them. The example you gave may be a completely different circumstance and it is extremely sad and pathetic for you to stand in judgement. Are you male by any chance?

But I am sure your research will be extremely thorough and convincing given your full analysis of the one example you provide.

I know plenty of people who married a one-time lecturer or boss or staff member. Bear in mind that many postgrad students are in their 30s or older: i.e. the same age as many staff members. It's not as if we're talking about schoolkids.

http://www.timeshighereducation.co.uk/story.asp?sectioncode=26&storycode=401935

just found this, looks like others are picking up on the growing trend too!

Regards PGFT

hope work is going well for you all.