And that "you may now kiss the bride" would be really awkward and you'd bump noses and teeth

and potential slobber factor

OMG! This thread has made laugh so hard!!! I am also completely shocked. Firstly - please can youtell me what demoniation of christianity this girl believes (not to be fussy, espcially given my lack of practicing faith, but you cant really class all christian denominations the same and therefore the followers are just as different). You could have saved yourself alot of hassle if you had done your homework - do not covert thy neighbours wife - simple - this girl believes this so there is no way should would go off with you. Sorry to be harsh but i am just following her logic.
Second - i really can understand that there are people out there who dont want to sleep with anyone before marriage but do nothing???? That is complete insanity - you are actually denying all of your own natural urges and probably creating more problems for yourwelf in the future.

coastalchick, maybe the guy has NO urges. Maybe thats what this whole thing is about?

third - it is not just modern society that sleeps around so dont try and stand on some moral high ground. Each to their own and we shouldn't even think of judging others for how they live their lives (unless they are killers, rapist etc or people who watch big brother sorry)
jradetzky - i feel a little sorry for you - i completely agree that you should never lower your standards but you may have to accept that your search could be that much longer then someone who doesn't require such a long list of attributes from a wife. Also have you considered that you may meet someone who ticks all the boxes but that there is still something missing? Or that she may not be looking for someone like you?

Urges are great!!! jradetzky - do not deny yourself!

Let's hear it for the urges!!

Apparently 1 in 100 people are asexual (according to New Scientist a couple of years ago). There must be a dating website set up specifically for asexuals- maybe JRadetsky should check that out if he wants a non religious girl who hasn't had sex before marriage- i reckon that's the only way you're going to find one!

Urges are great...especially if they involve Alan Rickman!

To coastalchick:

>You could have saved yourself alot of hassle if you had done your >homework

I suppose you're right. She told me it was a mistake that I never asked about her bf. I wrongly assumed it was just a "puppy bf" when she showed me pics of them never alone, nor hugging, kissing or holding hands. That's why I fell in because NSBM was so evident and later confirmed by her. I never even suspected it was more serious than it appeared because they were sticking to the principles of Christian courtship--BTW, I have no idea what denomination she belongs to, I guess Baptist or something, but she told me her church had to convince her parents to allow her come to Oxbridge to do the PhD.

And, yeah, I can confirm that although I cried and didn't sleep for weeks thinking about her, I never ever had se*ual feelings for her, just a really deep feeling of familiarity and empathy, as if she were a little sister or cousin (I'm 8 years her senior) I wanted to be with all the time. That's the kind of thing I'm looking for.

Urges belong to animals. We're not animals, but people. Don't sell yourself short guys.

Actually urges are an important part of life. If we didn't have urges, we wouldn't procreate.

As for your feelings for the young lady, you thinking of her as a little sister, well that means it would be incestous for you to consider a more serious relationship with her. Therefore you probably just wanted to be her friend.

To H:

>As for your feelings for the young lady, you thinking of her as a >little sister, well that means it would be incestous for you to >consider a more serious relationship with her. Therefore you >probably just wanted to be her friend.

I suppose you're right. Actually I recall a particular occasion we went together to a typical Oxbridge formal dinner in which she looked gorgeous and she sat so close to me that I almost freaked out and ran away. Americans always make me feel uncomfortable with their excessive "friendliness"--I experienced this already when I visited the Southern USA and everyone there wanted to hug me, call me nicknames, and invite me to their houses. That makes me puke.

I think you are scared of women. I think it's something you need to overcome before you can have a proper relationship with anyone.