Hi, I think it is great that you have spoken to your supervisor. I am not doubting you but may he have a point? Is there something in your current project you are not familiar with (can be minor) and perhaps not even interested? As this might reflect badly even if it is in your eyes a not important part. I am e.g. completely stupid with some techniques as I come from a different back ground he uses as standard so he gives me only the name of the method and I have no idea what he is talking about. It took me a while until I was up to admitting that I have no idea what he is talking about. after this our relationship changed for the better as I could do what he asked for and he did not think I am to lazy but knew that I just never done it before.
Good luck

all the best MichaelA. i had exactly the same problems last year and narrowed my topic to issues i am familiar with and skills that i have. my supervisor has since been nicer.

hope all goes well for you.

Hi :o) Good that you've sat down with your supervisor to talk it through. I nearly gave up in my first year because my supervisor kept piling on work that he wanted me to do, and expecting me to keep up (including quite a bit of stuff that wasn't really directly my PhD but his interest). I reached breaking point before I sat him down and explained I couldn't cope with the amount of work he was piling on. I was actually surprised at the response I got - he backed off, and let me do it my way, I think he was surprised I'd actually fought back! I still feel like he thinks I'm lazy and stupid, but I've come to terms with that (he's just a genius & sometimes wrong!). He gives a lot of strong opinions on my work, often quite negative - sometimes he has very valid points, and others I disagree with. It is a balancing act... but unless you have a fabby supervisor, you'll always feel inadequate. Good luck.

Hi, Yes the supervisor issue... I found when I was doing my PhD that the best thing to do was to have an honest relationship with your supervisor. I am not saying they are blameless, but if you need more support and one on one time to understand the project, then you MUST be actuve and arrange weekly meetings for up to an hour where you tell them what you don;t understand, what you are finding difficult and what you enjoy. Don't forget - supervisors are very stressed with writing grants etc he/she probably doesn't even realise that you feel neglected and this way...Honesty is the best policy- and you may find a couple of months down the line you actually enjoy your phD and if not, then at least you will know it is not the situation it is the fact you want to be in the real world! Hope that helps

I friend of mine (S) from my undergrad degree and I started our Ph.Ds at different institutions at the same time, and had similar experiences with poor and aggressive supervisors.

S's supervisor was very unsupportive from day one, when it came to the 'upgrade' viva S was forced to arrange everything himself! Despite being a hard-worker and frankly much more intelligent than me, S's supervisor refused to allow him to continue.

My own experience was slightly different. I realised from the first day that my supervisor was a real bully. He has a custom of being highly aggressive and critical towards new students - he feels he is 'breaking them in'. I stood up to this and argued back, and our relationship went from bad to worse.

(I can't get all this into 200 words, so it's continued below)

There are many instances of incredible behaviour I could relate to you all about my supervisor, but my point is this: When S was forced to leave (he eventually clawed an M.Phil out of it) he started a new PhD he is now completing. It took him a couple of years longer, but had a much happier experience than he would have had if he'd stayed with his original position.

I fought through a very destructive relationship with my supervisor but eventually passed my PhD. I was not able to publish my work since he insisted that it be a joint publication with another student which he favoured highly (an attractive young woman - he has a history of dating students). This turned out to be a scheme to publish my work under his and her names - my name would suddenly slip down the authors list in the final draft, or disappear altogether from conference posters.


(Continued elsewhere...)

Eventually (after more than a year of wrangling) I had my data removed from the paper, but which time it was so out of date as to be unpublishable anyway. This hasn't stopped him taking advantage of me, just last week I saw his newest students 1st year poster - more than half of the data on that poster was taken from my thesis, but naturally only his name appeared with the students.

I have been unemployed and looking for a post-doc now for more than 6 months. I cannot get a reference from him, and have a stack of rejection e-mails that cite my lack of published material as that reason for not securing an interview. If I had only quit in my first year I could be finishing another PhD by now and have none of these problems.

I really believe that if you are unhappy with your supervision and you've done everything reasonable to sort it out - then get out of there and tell everyone why you are leaving. Terrible management is utterly endemic in UK science.

I can only sympathise with you Snowglobe. There are many useful pieces of advice in the previous posts, but they are only valid if you deal with a person that play the game openly and correctly. Unfortunately - and this doesn't happens only in academia - it is not always in this way. I am in my first year, and I would certainly change supervisor if I had the chance, but I am not in the position to do that. My PhD pass through this person and the only thing that I can do is to work as hard as I can and take on board all the opportunities that arise outside - being aware that I will never get encouragement, support or help. I know how difficult it can be to keep your motivation going. The only thing that I can recommend you is to do as much networking as possible. It takes double time to achieve things, but you will get there, be sure of this.

The relationship with your supervisor is a two way thing. If one is unhappy then the best option is to part company, providing you haven't almost finished(i.e get out while you still can). I have had many discussions with my supervisor and confided in him about my worries, but to no avial (he never delivers). I do struggle with the work as I have not covered it before in my undergrad course but instead of getting support I am made to feel stupid. This is further exacerbated by the small talk which goes on behind my back. If things are going wrong in the begining then they are bound to get worse. I am leaving while I still can...(continued)

Admittedly, the project was not my first option but it was the only project I had offerd. In hindsight I shouldn't have taken it and I should have only settled the project in the area I wanted (even if it had meant waiting for years). Leaving will probably destroy my chances of getting a PhD anywhere else as academia can be quite incestious. So, my best advice is only settle on a project you want to do and free yourself from bad superviors.

This is an email i exchange with my supervisor:

Me: Please don't take me wrong, but i feel that you have already made your mind that i should have not doing this PhD and that i am useless in whatever i am doing and im wasting your time. ...there is anything i can do to change that.Nevertheless i am not blame you for that, since it seems that indeed i haven't met your expectations.

Supervisor:I have not said that you are useless or wasting my time.
As you can notice, I actually spent quite significant amount of time
for this project and for you. Please do not produce another assumption on yourself and myself.

Having a healthy relationship with your supervisor usually means you're more satisfied with the work you do and have less stress.

You usually can't change your supervisor's behavior, but you can nurture the quality of the relationship. Here are some tips to keep the relationship healthy.

* Be positive. When things go wrong, a positive attitude means a lot to people who work with you, including your supervisor. Communicate with questions or suggestions, rather than complaints. Volunteer suggestions to mitigate the problem, and don't be offended if they're not always implemented.
* Manage your anger. Blowing up in front of your supervisor solves nothing, but demonstrates clearly that you can't control your emotions. This doesn't mean you have to sit and stew when you're angry. But learn how to communicate your anger appropriately. If anger management is difficult for you, sign up for a course to help you deal with it.

Hi MichealA, I think that we are talking about two different things here. I haven't problems with my research. That's absolutely fine and on track. The problem is my supervisor's attitude and behaviour towards me. Attituted and behaviour that I don't get by anyone else in the dept./uni. I cannot and don't want to talk in detail about this, however this is something that limit the development of my PhD and has a negative impact on me. As I said I am not in the position to change and I must do my best to make it working, but it's far from ideal and cannot be solved so easily.

There seem to be a lot of very bad supervisors out there, living in their own little worlds, either ignorant of their students while they have their own agendas, or happily stepping on students to make their own progress. If it gets really bad, it's probably better to at least try to do something about it - whether this is to go to the head of department, try to change supervisors, or just learning to cope without supervisor but get support elsewhere (colleagues, or other academic staff). Keep aware of what you need - one of my friends let her supervisor push her so hard she had a nervous breakdown - it's not worth that much! My friend came back but changed supervisors. Others of us who have bad supervision stick together, read each others work, and get support through each other, and through other colleagues to confirm our work is on track (I give lots of presentations to different departments or conferences to give myself the confidence I'm doing ok).

Hi SeaBird, I try to do the same by getting involved in conferences, etc. Sometimes is tough, but on the other hand it just give me the strength to go ahead in spite of everything. Thanks for your words, I feel better now.