======= Date Modified 19 Aug 2009 06:23:10 =======
First of all, thanks for the replies. Whether they be understanding or a little on the criticizing side. I'm glad that some of you give me support while some condemn me of my attitude in all this, and it's understandable that you're all a bit angry.
I've had a longer talk with my family, and they said it's understandable that I don't want to do a PhD...after all, not everybody is PhD material. The long hours and effort spent on research is really not for everyone.
I've begun to sent some CVs and hopefully will get 1 or 2 interviews soon. I need to get a job preferably before October, that's when things really heat up and the work start to pile; it is then that would be hard for me to quit.
I know I might sound like a jerk, but I think it's best for now to not talk/notify my supervisor until I actually got a job offer. I need the money. The rent and the bills are something that's just too pressing and need to be taken care of. I decided that once I did get a job, I would have a long talk with my supervisor and give him a 1 or 2 weeks notice.
Joyce and Phdbug, you're both right. I'm just really selfish consuming the funds by myself when I really don't have the heart to continue on. So I decided once I've got a job and had the talk to my supervisor, I'm going to return the received studentships (albeit in small monthly payments) until it's all been cleared. This money should go to someone who's passionate and actually cares. I know the damage is probably done to my supervisor by then, but it's probably the only thing I can do.
Endph_Sien - get real man! There is absolutely no compulsion for you to pay back the funding and don't even think of offering it back! The fact is that people leave their jobs (and well paid ones too!) every day to go to higher paid positions and don't give a second thought of the costs to their previous bosses! Question: Did ya use the money for a huge trip to Vegas snorting coke? If not, don't be concerned with it.
I am not in any way questioning the nobility of your actions, but from the reading of the post you are moving partially for your families sake - well then put them first! You cannot be putting noble intentions in the way of their security. There are plenty of people locally here who had been promised funding by state agencies and is now cut or gone entirely - where is their recourse? Only deal with the money if it becomes a legal issue, which I can't see happening. Second Question: Would you see your supervisor dipping into his pocket to finance you if the funding wasn't there? NO! So why should you or your family suffer? People leave their "job" or if ya want to take it a notch higher, their vocation, every day and there is damage - its called moving on. And for the prospect of you denying someone else previous funding - tough luck on them! Dog eat dog!
I don't think they would let you pay it back - presumably there is a contract somewhere saying you would be paid for the work you did. Even if they could legally accept the money, judging by my uni's finance department, they would consider it more hassle than it was worth! - Keep it and use it pay rent etc like its meant for!
An update to those of you who might be interested.
Yesterday I spoke with my supervisor personally and he seemed okay with it. He said that he understand my decision because honestly academia is not suited for everyone. He told me to keep my studentship and treat it as a farewell gift. We shook hands and parted on good terms.
Now it's time for some job hunting...
Fair dues - good luck with the job-hunt and your supervisors reaction just confirmed that he was able to see beyond the academic points and treat you as a human being (he's rare ha ha!). Treat the Phd as experience (and you have had positive experiences so don't be dismissive about it when asked in interviews) And you'd never know- there might be a time in the future you might feel like going down the part-time route.
Good luck and let us know how you get on.
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