We're all in the same boat, it seems: it's good to have this forum to offload worries.

(by the way Corinne, we have even more in common - my real name is Corinne too)

I am in 2nd year!

As soon as I start feeling like I'm getting somewhere, I look back at what I've achieved and I can just see it isn't good enough.

Juno & SixKitten, we are a good team! We have a lot in common and it's nice to be able to give voice to our anxieties.I feel much better now. Thanks for your messages. Although the are many PGs around here I often feel isolated, so thanks to the Forum!

I can only relate to your situation. When I started my PhD last year, I didn't really have high expectations - I moved to the UK from abroad and my research project was not very precisely defined, so I decided I would just do an "okay 1st year" and not a good or a very good one. However I soon started to find really interesting material from my primary sources, I submitted several abstract proposals to conferences and nearly all got accepted, same thing with academic journals. My supervisors have rated my progress as very good for a first year, but now I can see they have high expectations on me (which they didn't necessarily have a year ago). Trouble is, I now have high expectations myself...

My family (though well-intentioned) are not really helpful: I have always had good grades without apparently much effort, sometimes even working FT at the same time or studying for 2 different degrees, and they say: "Oh, we're sure you'll cope with this as you've always done" (as if a PhD were like A-levels). Moreover, being on a fees-only studentship, I've taken 2 casual jobs to support myself (and have recently found out that I don't really need to work that many hours to support my lifestyle... though money is always welcome, of course).

I sometimes say to myself that a PhD doesn't need to be exceptional - it only has to be enough to get yourself the degree, it's not like in an undergraduate or a masters where you get first class, distinction, etc. But then, for my personal satisfaction, I'd really like to produce a very good piece of research.

Defintely: I don't just want to be "OK", or mediocre. I'd really like to do something special. But when I'm panicking (like now!) I wonder if I'm even able to do OK; there always seems to be so much I don't know. I'm not sure that much distingishes me from the clever layperson (surely anyone who read the right papers and practised on the same machines could do what I'm doing, and probably better).

This is the point. There is a word at the back of my mind that is 'INADEQUATE'. That's how I feel, and fear that one day someone will come and tell me: 'you shouldn't be here doing this'. I can only see things as good or bad and very seldom I can see the middle-tones in situations. I tend to apply the same philosophy to the PhD. As adults we don't accept that we can do poorly or just 'o.k'. We want to do well, feel that what we do has a value not only for ourselves but also for the others. This often means that we often set too high standards and put ourselves under a lot of pressure. Because of the nature of PhD research -at least in my field- I can work for long periods of time without knowing if what I am doing is going to be useful/ good, or not. So, UNCERTAINTY is the 2nd negative word that spin around. We should learn to condition our minds with positive/ powerful messages. But this takes time and a lot of self-discipline, let alone say a positive and supportive environment.

to be honest, i learn a lot from the discussion itself, this is really a good forum. as a newbie here, i dig out lots of useful comments and suggestions. i really believe all you guys are smart enough to do a good phd work since you can see through what the nature of phd is and what is required. PHD is not a big deal, but the whole process benefits everybody in it a lot.

I think there is an element whereby you 'stop caring' as much the closer you get to the deadline and it becomes more about the need to complete than to reach your absolute maximum potential. I don't necessarily see that as a bad thing. I know someone who didn't complete because she really was a perfectionist and couldn't hand in something she wasn't entirely happy with - unfortunately that meant she spent all those years working and never got the qualification as she never submitted.

Hey! Guess what?! I've had the second year blues too! I was feeling so down a few weeks ago, but it's better now! I go away with my friends from university, climbing and walking, a fair bit, and I try to arrange meeting them when I'm low... It helps so much to get out and away from the lab! Or just to have the next trip to look forward to. If you're at a University why not join one of their clubs? Lots of post-grads get involved in ours...

You are right. I definitely feel better when I dedicate time to my social life. I have an up-coming presentation and I won't feel relaxed until this is over, but I need time off and must learn to find space for leisure too. Thank you all so much for your replies/advise, which is very appreciated. I promise that I will put them into practice. I cannot stand the idea of listening to my own complaints for the next two years!