VeryPoor. That is a fair point. If the depression/ stress someone suffers is for reasons other than their PhD that is one thing. Quite a lot of my family suffer from depression but do manage get by in their daily lives

However if depression is induced or exacerbated by doctoral studies to the point were it seriously affects a person's health I would think it is a good idea to at least consider other alternative careers....

You are quite correct in that I would say the kind of project I took on just didnt suite me. I didnt drop out because the PHD was too much hard work. I didnt like he kind of work it involved. Any research I had done previous to my PhD was theoretical and I did mange to get my name on a paper as an undergradaute which was published in a respected journal. So if i do sign up for another PhD it will be in a teorethical topic

Quite right very poor - just giving my own experience for comparison. But it was not just that it was the wrong topic (which it certainly was).

I see your point Jouri and that is a horrible example which one hopes admin would be alert to. But actually I have talked to a student in this position with the support and knowledge of a senior staff member. Other people's experiences will never be quite like your own - but you can sift through them and take away what you find useful.

Again, as you can see from my initial post, I AM getting plenty of help, both medication and talking therapy (plus day hospital stuff like art therapy). However, the people that help me with this have not done a PhD and because doing a PhD is quite different from having a normal job, I wanted to hear from people who actually have this experience. Instead of ruminating on my own, I prefer to talk about these issues openly. I know this is an open forum and would not have posted here if I didn't feel strong enough to read the replies. So far, this thread has been very helpful to me (thanks everyone!) and has made me feel considerably less alone in what I am going through.

I also wanted to ask about how your supervisor reacted to your situation and if they have been helpful or not.

Hi Zingo,
I'm not sure if this will help, but I will explain my situation. Its not regarding my phd but my Bsc. I started my BSc in 2000 and was really unhappy. I was bullied by my flat mates, missed ny boyfriend immensly (now my husband) and generally felt really low. At the end of my second year I had devloped a severe eating disorder and was really depressed. I spent some time as an inpatient and after that as a day patient doing art therapy, group therapy etc. I thought I never wanted to go back to finish my Bsc. But in the end decided I couldn't let it take over, and finished my degree. I am now doing a phd and do have moments where I feel really bad. But I have learnt to deal with it. I know the triggers. I take it easy when I feel low. Eat well, exercise and don't overdo it. My priorty is definately my health.I can only do my best. I still see someone now and that keeps me in check.

My supervisor knows the situation and has been so nice. I was so scared of telling him for fear that he would think less of me. But he knows how hard I work and when I work I work. He says just work mornings if I want.
But I would rather work four or five hours of solid work than spend the whole day in the office chatting and actually getting less done.
I spend most days at home working and find it much more productive. I know thats not always feasible and I do do labwork. But make sure that i plan what I want to do and so spend time more productively when I am in the lab.

I made a big mistake with my first PhD in not telling my supervisor's anything about what was happening until it was too later. They did not pass me to go on after my first year. When they were worried and wanted to find me another student told them I was with the psychiatrist and that was the first they new about it. They were good people and I should have told them what was happening. I probably would still have left - but it would have helped a lot.

I still have similar issues and had a bad spell during the first year of this PhD. I told my supervisor but we didn't really talk about it. I didn't intermit but I did need a little time out unofficially - did very little for about 6 months and had some medication. He has never seemed at all concerned - I guess this is really not uncommon.

like smilidon, i told my supervisor nothing. I had two supervisors- the main one went away on reasearch during my first year for his own research, the other supervisor i simply could not confide in as he has very specific ideas about what a good student is like. It was only in mid 2nd year did my main supervisor know about anything- and he still pushed me to continue- but i wanted to quit, whereas he said take time out- which i did and has lasted nearly two years

despite everything he still wants to continue- despite my depression and so on. He even confided in me that he had his 'moments' too. He has suggested everything to make my life easier- get a part time job, exercise, study for only 3-4 hours a day ( even though i literally have to start from scratch and hand something in by 2010). He taught me at Masters level- when i was 'at my best' so he knows that i do work hard. I have always been intimidated by him but this experience has shown me how supportive and nice he is.

the second supervisor wants to wash his hands off me completely- but the first supervisor is like 'pay him no attention' lol.

I do respect my supervisor alot- anybody else would have said 'quit now, it's pointless' but he keeps on telling me he wants me leave with something at least. I think if his attitude was different i would have quit long ago. i remember meeting him last year, a full year after my leave, telling him it was pointless, but he was so calm and collected, trying to find 'solutions'

As for my return, i am trying, studying away, but it is very slow and i have periods of severe dread and anxiety but i accept them and let them pass. I try to add more things to my life now- like the part time job, going to the gym, medication.

As for how i've tried to get back into studying- my supervisor is so supportive that he set me up a specific theme as a starting point. i have written down the exact issues and themes, questions i need to examine and 'set up' 4 chapters, and trying to study according to them, which of course is difficult but got to start somewhere.

I am in london every two weeks at the BL- was dreading it at first but i find that i do much more work there than when back at home. I should really move down there but i just want to break into it all slowly

and jouri, i do understand your point of view. But at the same time, i think it can be so helpful to hear that you are not alone. I discovered this forum in Dec. 2006 4 months after my leave began and i was so shocked- and relieved to find that i was not the only. i realised that maybe i wasn't stupid and hopeless, that in fact this was quite common. i realise that this is not a forum to help those with suicidal feelings- thats for the professionals. But sometimes just hearing that others have had similar problems can relieve the huge burden and pressure that is part and parcel of a phd.

Zingo, I am so sorry to hear you are going through such a tough time. As Angie81 points out - look after yourself first. Forget your PhD for now, and the funding side of things because your health is of utmost importance at this time. During my undergrad and masters I suffered with the same, and I use the word suffered because it feels like you're so alone - but you're not - and I think you're amazing to have got this far and coped like you have.

Jouri, you cannot claim that this thread should not be allowed on the forum - surely we are here as a support network, and trust me, whilst I'm sure Zingo knows professional help is necessary, it always helps to know there are people out there listening. PhDs are not easy and this forum helps people with wide range of concerns.

oh dear! havnt even started yet...must tell myself not to freak out after reading this. jeez! good luck. im out of here!