Oi!!!

I am only scared of some things: spiders, cockroaches, worms, water falls, hotels named hilton especially the one in Paris, sponges, leaves, fields, hens named fluffy, bluetooth, phone masts, nuclear physcists, investment bankers, forums, remote controls, centaurs, sphinxes, religion, work, village people, hills, valleys, icebergs, ships named Titanic, people who smile too much, baboons, lizards, snakes, otters, left-handed tennis players, antennas, the matrix, pink stuff, creatures with four stomachs, child prodigies, hexagonal paper weights, plants that grow on other plants (why can't they get their own soil), compost, maggots, garbage chutes, made up roses, atomic kitten people.......................................

Oh and Language Fascists with no tolerance!

lol, I was only joking, and i can only hope you are only joking with that long list!

Weren't you thinking of becoming an investment banker W2DN?

golfpro, I believe in facing my fears one at a time.

She sounds very unreasonable. Maybe she'll listen if you say you want a meeting with her to discuss issues that you feel are affecting your PhD? Is she the type that is likely to listen? Maybe have a meeting with another external person outwith dept? Maybe send her an e-mail or at least write all you want to discuss on a piece of paper and show it to her before so both of you can prepare what you want to say.

Is she just being difficult for the sake of it? Does she forget about things she says a week(s) after she says them once the dust has settled! Does she just like the sound of her own voice or want to stamp her authority? I can imagine it being weird working for wife and husband - are they playing you off one another?

Good luck and hope you get it sorted.

that is exactly what i am planning on doing. I am going to have a separate meeting for her and me to discuss supervision issues. Even tho she got arsey with me...its soemthng that has got to be sorted. She just wants to show her authority.... she really isnt that important within the department.
NOW she wants my help on a project... and she wants me to do stuff on it for free...she says that it will help my project- but i will be spending alot of my time doing work for her.. i dont think this is normal. i feel i shud be paid for this - i told her and she said that i will be getting her attention during that time (which i dont want anyways) and an understanding of research methods.

YEY. i went to see my head of school...aka my first supervisor. I told her everything!!!! She was sooooooo cooool!!!! She was annoyed at my other supervisor and was a bit shocked that she was like that.
Going to send her an email...copy it to head of school. Then take things on from there. She will talk to her... i know that my troublesome supervisor will blame it on me and i will look bad!!!!
Thats life and i am happy to risk it.

Don't let it get to you too much, and most of all don't listen to everything that everyone says (including me). I have problems with my supervisor, but they are personality clashes and at the end of the day you must be bold enough to go and sort them out for yourself. Complaints are a last resort in an academic environment. I'm not saying you can't complain, but you have to exhaust all other possibilities first. Be diplomatic and tell your supervisor how you feel, then tell him/her why what he/she does makes you fell that way, and then tell him/her what you would like to change/happen. If that doesnt' work, then get a member of staff that you know and trust and tell them, then get them to have an informal meeting with all present and get that member of staff to mediate. If that doesnt work then you can speak informally to the head of department, speak to human resources, a university councillor, a student representative or even your doctor (I would reccommend a doctor first for advice). But most of all, your situation is unique to you, so everying I say may not be wise and/or useful.

ok... i emailed my sueprvisr stuff and coppied it to my head of school. She made me look really bad. I was so upset. I really dont know how to respond. She says i am over reacting - but that woman is a control freak. its killing me. I dont even know or care about research n e more.

Hi EatingElephants,
I am really sorry to hear your supervisor is giving you a hard time. I think you were well within your rights to speak to the head of school. After all your supervisor is a bad listener and gave you no choice. I think if she continues to blame you for this situation, I wonder whether her other students are experiencing something similar and it is her problem rather than a clash between you and her. To bad mouth you to the head of department is rather unprofessional and I would have expected her to at least pretend she had realised how her behaviour was impacting upon you and your research. Speak to your head of school again and see what she suggests. I agree with an earlier poster about complaining being a last resort, however I think you were given no choice and it was more like an informal 'let's sort things out' than I am taking you to the college board. You mention the H-O-S was your first supervisor - could you go back to working with her? Good luck and be strong! Hilary

yeh i am thinking of ditching her!!!!!!

i dont know anymore... i want to work with her, but i really am finidng it difficult atm. As I was walking to our main building saw her today waiting outside my head of schools office - she looked at me and looked away. I knew she was there to see her about the issue...
When i got back my head of group (her husband) asked if he could talk to me . He basically told me how stressed she has been and i wouldnt find anyone as qualified in the department as she is. I dont know or understand why it would be any of my business as to how stressed she has been. I havent got a clue of what is going to happen now....