1592 words -BUT most of it, is "copied notes verbatim" from papers. but interspersed with my own thinking and ideas and my own notes...verbatim words in red, my own words in blue. which i like to call "zero draft" "primordial soup" (joan bolker) lol i'm even referencing in online messages lol.

-I found this great article and read it today, and it helped me to think of possible figures and ways of presenting and analysing my data for chapter 4. so i have a clearer idea how to analyse my data.

so even though only managed to read 1 paper, (which was quite heavy!) it was a good find, as it's inspired me with ideas with interpretation of my own data.

actual total productive time = 1 hour and 30 mins, even though was in my study room the whole day!

procrastinating things i did= emailed a professor who helped me with my phd, updating her of my progress.
replied to my co supervisor's email, explaining to her, i will NOT be writing a chapter about "such and such" because i don't believe in it. and it doesnt tie in with the rest of my thesis and i am not comfortable with it. i stood my ground!
but she was nice enough to offer to read my draft of chapter 4 in a weeks time and help me to figure out how to present my data and analyse it, so feel great about that. that's she's going to help me with my chapter. deadline is june 2nd.

my collegue called me, and spoke to her about how to write my other two chapters based on my papers, and how i can use the figures and tables. and how i can expand on the paper, by going into more detail, especially methods etc. so feeling better about that.
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before i got the dreaded letter about my deadline. i was going to spend the bank holiday weekend at my best friends flat, its her bday party tommorow. but i've cancelled it. so instead just going to the party, and then coming back home tommorow night. that way i can write at home on sunday and monday.

super sleepy now. i want to read one more really good paper, but it's too heavy. and i'm tired.
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BB - i look forward to hearing your update tommorow

Quote that I have on a post-it on my wall in my study room, next to my computer monitor

"Wherever you are, it is the place to start. The effort to expend today DOES make a difference"

and another post it with the following quote

"One day plus another has an accumulative effect"

and

"A tree as big around as you can reach starts with a small seed; a thousand-mile journey starts with one small step"

goodnight!

1500 words is really good, and I think writing lots in very rough form is a good way to write. I read an article on the internet a few days a go (can't remeber where I'm afraid), where this psycologist was arguing that the best way to write was to first write loads and loads of rubbish, be it copied and pasted stuff or stuff from the top of your head, and then edit it down. Aparently people who write like that are loads more productive than those who plan meticulously and try to write perfectly first time.
Also very importantly - DON'T FORGET TO SLEEP.

My plan for today:
1. Go food shopping
2. Do some sorting out of house stuff - I really need to do this as I'm moving from a large room of my own in a shared house to a one bed teeny flat with my bf. Major clear out required.
3. Read and take notes on papers suggested by my supervisors to help with corrections for data chapter 1.
4. Out for tapas with mum, dad and sister (Yeah!). Note for Lara - make sure you don't cut out all the fun things in your life. The thesis writing will seem like a much more horrible time if all you do is work!
Good luck today Lara and Jojo (and anyone else who's writing), and thanks soo much for your support.

Hey BB, thanks for sharing what that psychologist said, that's just made me feel really good! cause that's what i do nice to hear that it's not a bad way to work.

but right now, i just got an email back from my supervisor. i'm completely demotivated. and i think i am going to fail my phd. so right now. i don't even feel like trying. i don't deserve the phd. i dont know anything about my field or my subject.

Lara- don't feel demotivated- be positive!
I've been really impressed with the diary etc. You can do it!

what did your supervisor say to make you feel down - can you turn it around so its a positve
keep going
xx

I have just read your other post, and I'm not surprised you're feeling down - your supervisor sounds like a right a*se. Do you have another supervisor that you can speak to, or anyone else who you can show your work to? They don't sound very helpful at all - e.g. refusing to look at draft chapters is not on.

Do you know what the repercussions would be for your supervisor if you don't submit? Although they say it’s not just your decision I would be very surprised if the consequences were not also bad for them. After all, if you do submit at least you have a chance of passing (or getting an MPhil?), but if you don't then you definately fail. In my department a PI is not allowed to supervise another PhD student for a number of years if their student does not submit. To get to my point, could they just be trying to scare you into finishing?

I'm a bit surprised they were so harsh, ok so its been a long time since you started, but you are doing something now, and you have already written 2 papers! Also, I think 3 months is enough time, my supervisor himself told me he wrote his entire thesis, including doing backround reading, in 4 months. What they said about all the time and effort they and X put into your work is a load of rubbish, that's their job. They got 2 papers out of you, which is more than most PhD students do (at least in my field).

My advice would be, have this meeting with your supervisor and give them a thesis plan. It may not be a pleasant meeting but don't take what they say too much to heart. Too often PhD students feel that their work is some sort of measure of themselves as a person, and any criticism is hard to take. Your thesis is NOT your life, it is just work, and your supervisor is just a boss. Some bosses are worse than others, and yours sounds like so many other successful academics - self-important and rubbish at people management! You don't have to like them, but it's probably just best to grit your teeth and do your best with them.

probably not the best use of your energy if you really do want to finish this (and I think you do!). If you think supervision has been poor, it could be something to think about when you have finished.

Don't give up, I don't think you want to. I think a lot of students think that they are rubbish, and no one really knows as much about their area as they claim.
You can do it!
P.S. try to have fun at the party!