awwww thanks so much Beverley i really appreciate that. :)

Thanks everyone for your encouragement. I feel better.

i am planning on starting on a new chapter today.

i've set myself a new deadline now.

friday 13th june:
zero draft of
chapter 3
chapter 4
chapter 6

aiming to just get a crappy draft of these chapters done.

sorry to be a bit blonde- but what exactly is a zero draft?
p.s I can say this cause I am a blonde

lol no need to say sorry!

it's a concept i read about in the book by Joan Bolker

a zero draft is your first attempt at writing a chapter, it's usually rubbish and crap, and messy, it's not good enough to be called a first draft, but it's better than a blank piece of paper. for me it's really helped to unblock my writers block and my fear and has helped to control my procrastination.

Joan Bolker writes
"A zero draft.... it can be the name you give your accumulated pages the first time they begin to have any shape at all, although they are still so messy that it would be presumptuous to call them a "first draft" yet are clearly more organised than pure chaos.....The zero draft is the point where it becomes possible to imagine, discern, a shape to your material, to see the method in your madness"

She talks about when you sit down and attempt writing a chapter, is to just first make a mess, write anything and don't worry about it, just keep writing. And in the mess, some rough diamonds may appear, that need further polishing..

I highly recommend the book "writing your dissertation in 15minutes a day" it's been my companion, and whenever i feel stuck or panicked or scared, i read a few pages of the book and it makes me feel better and gives me encouragement and inspiration.

the hardest part, is to get going... the hardest part is staring at a blank piece of paper and starting on a chapter.. but once you allow yourself to just write any old rubbish, it gets easier.

*clocks in*

So I have realised I work better when I have a short-term deadlines.
So I will work in 3 day deadlines.

My next deadline is friday 6th june:
aim to get a zero draft of chapter 4 and approx 6000 words.

-----
I mistakenly emailed my 2nd supervisor asking for a table that we made for my paper, and realised i already had it! doh, i'm sleepy, i sent another email apolagising. hope she doesn't get irritated with me!
-------

okay update: after panicking for most of the day and having writers block. i finally got over it.
i stuck several pieces of A4 paper together and made a huge sheet, on which i made a spider- diagram of the basic layout of the chapter. i have now stuck it to the wall. :)

----

I basically did what Joan bolker suggests, to keep writing, and not stop for anything. if i didn't understand something, i would just put in brackets in blue, {don't get this, find out more about it, read up on it.} etc, most of time,it was relating to the stats that was done on my data. which i really dont get!

so i will have to read up on it. i could ask my 2nd supervisor, but feel intimidated to bother her. so i will try to find out on my own. the statician that did the work, is super busy and the other one moved to another country. but at the moment i'm trying not to stress about it, and ploughing through with the rest of the chapter. and then come back to it.

i also have a little book, which i call "paper memory" (term nicked from joan bolker) where i jot down, problems, ideas, and things i need to look up. that way i feel psychologically secure that it's written down, and i can go back to it at a later stage, and doesnt interrupt my flow of writing when i'm in the "zone".
------

total productive time = 2 hours and 25 minutes.

total words = 2053 words

goodnight

*clocks out*

Lara, it's been so encouraging reading your thread (and Jojo's as well). This forum has been a life saver for me in terms of letting me know that I'm not alone. There is a real sense of community, especially with those who are in the end stages! Good luck, keep going and know that we are reading this willing you (and ourselves) to succeed

awww Thanks Kaymoy, that's so nice of you.

I have to be honest, I didn't think anyone was actually reading my diary haha. so that's really nice to hear, thanks for your kind words and encouragement, it really helps !

the only thing that's getting me through this, are you guys and this forum

thanks for saying that you find it encouraging :)

*clocks in* (day-shift)

hours spent at desk approximately between 1pm-5pm (with a little food break in between).

Total "productive time" = 2 hours.

total words = 2,501 words.

-----

Taking a break now, and then I will start the "evening/night shift" for the next 2000 word target.

*clocks out*.

ooops i never did go back to working after my break yesterday, naughty me.
so i only did 2000 words yesterday and 2 hours of productive time.

and today, i can't seem to get into it. keep procrastinating. i should go visit the procrastinater website for some inspiration.


BB where are you? how are things with you? hope you're okay!

---
how's everyone else doing?

what do you have to do today? and what have you done so far?

love this strip..

http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=334

so update:

met my deadline today, my target was to write 6000 words for chapter 4, by friday night, based on my paper. most of the words were already there, and i just rewrote it.

total words so far of the chapter is 6516 words.

i still need to do loads of stuff for the chapter though. but its a start, a zero draft.

side note:

something that's worrying me - i have to arrange a meeting with my evil supervisor next week. i'm really scared to meet him, as he will tell me off severly for not having my thesis written. and thinks its a waste of his time having to read my thesis and arranging examiners for me, cause he thinks
a) i wont be able to write a good thesis, as he thinks my writing is rubbish
b) thinks i dont have a good understand of my subject.

both of which has affected my confidence.

so i'm spending this weekend to get a rough draft of two other chapters done. so i wont feel like a complete loser that hasn't done anything for my thesis.

i really really don't want to meet him, and i'm dreading it so much! his email really scared me. and he's even more scarier in real life, when you're on his bad side..

but i have to meet him, to get his "approval" of the chapters for my thesis, and he wants to know exactly what i have done. otherwise he wont let me submit my thesis in sept.