Blimey. I'm going to be at least 39 when I finish my PhD. I don't have a house, or a car. I don't live with my boyfriend because we can't afford it. What is this myth that somehow doing a PhD is the only thing that prevents people from having this amazing life full of material possessions??!! Life out there for people with 'just' a degree or a Masters is not guaranteed to put people in a position to have all the stuff that's being mentioned here as signs of achievement. Most people work long hours for low pay and hate their jobs, and are also terrified of losing their jobs, and many would give anything to be able to go back to studying! We are lucky, and I think it's important to remember that. And the three or four years spent doing a PhD is nothing compared to the 30 or more years that most people will spend doing a job they probably hate - at least we have a chance of escaping that fate through the things the PhD may open up for us....

Rant over! 8-)

Hey,

Just like many here, I will be 30+ by the time I graduate (provided I do, that is!), have no job, no house, no car etc... Being 28 now, I still get asked for an ID all the time too, and then the cashiers sort of blush when they see my date of birth!

I suppose I may sound very naive but... I don't see how I could have any regrets about all of this. Before the PhD I was doing a job I loved, but it paid peanuts although it required, ideally, a Masters Degree. Now I get to research a topic I chose and love. I want to make that research available in the end, so if anyone ever looks for answers about my topic, they don't necessarily have to do a PhD for it too! That, to me, seems well worth it.

As for what to do later, I've been saying to myself that if academia was not an option, I would go for self-employment in a totally different sector. Being in my second year, I still have a bit of time to figure out what to do, and in the worst case, I'll go back to making peanuts but with the satisfaction I have had the chance to do something so personal - that's not given to everyone!

Why did you choose to do a PhD? definitely not to have a car and house by the time you graduate.
So, why does it even come unexpected to you?
Looking back at why you did a PhD, do you find those expectations realized?