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Yeah, amongst my friends there have been 4 new babies (all beautiful and healthy) in the last 3 years and we're all late 30s and 40s, so you can do it. The plus side is that these women are very stable and strong on themselves, and their relationships are strong too. Most have either good finances themselves or a partner with a good steady income etc and have worked out their family realtionships.

Although I can certainly see the advantage of having children young, I often wish I had, and they'd be practically grown up by now; but when I was younger, I thought I might have them older, when I'd done all the other stuff, but I'm still doing the other stuff and don't want to stop! So there goes, maybe I will only ever really want to do the other stuff.

Florence, I think there are more women in this position than you realise. Like someone said earlier, there is never the right time to have a baby, my best friend even advised me that having an "accident" might be better. The problem is, as educated women we spend quite a lot of time preparing our "nest". Yes three years feels like a lot of time but it will go quicker than you can ever imagine - think of it as nest building time - you want to bring your child up in the best way you can, right?

I am sooooo broody!! and so I just wanted to make a quick comment- I am getting married at the end of this year, have just turned 30 and am in my first year of my first post doc - desperately worrying much the same as you, Florence - when will I be 'able' to have children! and of course it is so true, that if you wait till it is 'right' you will be waiting for ever! I thought that when the PD was over that everything would fit into place, and it sort of has certainly improved (better wage etc) but the hours are still long, the stress is still there and in 2 yrs time I will be out of a job and desperately trying to get my own grants/next post doc - who would take on a pregnant person? not many people... so, it really is not all about 'i must finish my phd because it is stopping me living' - your PhD was your choice, it takes time and dedication, and you will def get more out of it if you enjoy, rather than resent, doing it. AND once it is over, it is still much the same!! Sorry!

This is a difficult one, and as others have said there is no real 'right' time. However whatever people say, there are very few amongst us who can have it all, there are choices to be made. I gave up a very rewarding job, with research elements that were exciting and where every day was different, had my own labs etc. to have my children. There was no other option, my professor didn't like woment to be married, and if they had children well that was beyond the pale - I must add here that he would never get away with the same thing now, but he was over 70 at the time and came from a different era, and that's life. I stayed at home with them -luckily we could afford that- and I can't say I didn't enjoy that bit too, but there was no way back. I remember phoning up once when there was a drive to get people back into my field, and the woman who answered the phone and to whom I explained what I had been doing suggested that they needed someone to wash up in the labs, and would I like that job (well actually no I wouldn't). You may be in a better position with new employment laws, but all the laws in the world do not make the impossible possible. A few may successfully combine home, family and career, but as far as I can tell most have to compromise and it isn't an easy choice to make. On the other hand, you could be like me and start again in a completely different area once they kids have grown up:-)

Florence, what you are doing sounds really sensible and fine. You are not saying that this is something that is many years away-just one or two. I had my three children when I was very young-not a teen but early twenties to twenty six-two years apart. I mainly did this because of a disasterous first marriage and I just seemed to be trapped in this cycle. And of course once I had one baby, I discovered I liked it and had two more.

But I had to put everything on hold bar my initial degree-achieved in extreme financial and emotional duress. I won the university medal only to have to say to the academics there-sorry can't do honours or the Phd you think I am down for-we have to eat and pay the rent.

My partner was abusive-completely unsupportive of myself and a poor father. Once I had managed to off-load him, it was a giant struggle for many years and it is only now that I can actually spend time on research. I am lucky and I have worked incredibly hard to buy a house, to love and to educate my children and to build a career-now to resume postgraduate work at 46. I am proud of my achievements but so many sacrifices had to be made along the way and some of them were heart breaking (to me anyway).

What is a year or two in the long run of things. Is one or two years likely to make that big a difference in your biological clock? However, in terms of completing a long held dream so that shortly you can marry, find suitable and appropriate work for your qualifications (note I did not say establish your academic career first-I think you might need to be a little flexible on that one-it is harder to control and not the holy grail that people seem to think it is-getting the Phd is though). Then when babies do come along, you won't have those twinge of regrets that you always have to hide from your young ones. Don't worry too much about the green eyed monster-we all have them. Just don't feed it!