Hi "H", what you mean it is an "approved marriage"??

Adem, don't get me wrong please, but it seems the only one grumbling here is you. Nobody is in such a high horse nor anyone thinks life is not hard for most of the non-PhD people out there.

You might be an exception: either you are lucky, or really efficient, neat and ordered and outstandingly smart or a combination of all that. That is good for you. But no PhD is equal to other.

I guess every PhD student would agree it is a time consuming, long and lonely road. I remember to have read a post about "loneliness" in grad student life. Is it familiar to any of you? Lucky the ones who get into PhD already married or in a long lasting strong relationship....

I find very interesting all of the comments here!

'Lucky the ones who get into PhD already married or in a long lasting strong relationship.'

Not too sure about that. I see all this as an excellent way of keeping me from doing anything 'stupid re women'. Last thing I want is a 3rd Mrs. Golfpro. Then again if Charlize Theron was keen.....

I met my lovely boyfriend one month into my PhD. I really value his support -he has been a great sounding board and his is always encourage. I obviously wish I could see him more - but people with 'normal' jobs probably wish the same. I think the PhD enroaches as far on your life as you let it....

Re Adam: for me personally, the PhD is a very difficult and tough experience. 9-5 doesn't work either, simply because I work as a research assistant and have to teach a bunch of Undergrads all the time (not doing part-time PhD though).

So I think my social life has suffered greatly since I embarked on this hopeless endeavour.

On the bright side, the PhD can be better than sex when things go well sometimes...

Bambam: "Approved marriage" is the newer/modern style of "arranged marriage". Basically your parents set you up with a suitable guy/girl (taking into account his background, what he does, level of education and HEIGHT). You then call each other and decide to meet up. After meeting up you decide whether to take it further.

So at the end of the day, you make all the decisions but your parents have a say as well.

A PhD can be better than sex? Your research is obviously going much better than mine then!

I didn't at any point say that doing a PhD was easy. I did however point out that there are other jobs/careers which are just as demanding or more so. I'm not saying that anyone can do research because it really is quite different from undergraduate courses and school. My point is as follows: as someone mentioned, a PhD takes as much of your life away as you let it. I don't see how it's different from any other position. In your PhD you try to do as well as you can for yourself to progress and complete the task at hand. As in a career whereby you are striving to succeed in order to advance/get promoted/earn more money. I appreciate that PhDs an be lonely but that is not exclusive to them, jobs can also be if you're pulling in 7 day weeks. Basically, in my opinion a PhD is a "job", an apprenticeship if you will. Make of it what you will but to claim that PhDs are more lonely/time consuming than other walks of life I feel is a little narrow minded.

I'm referring to the original post. Saying that I don't think tht a lack of sex/social life is because one might be doing a PhD but is more due to personality.

in response to Adem:"to claim that PhDs are more lonely/time consuming than other walks of life I feel is a little narrow minded."

You really dont have clue do you?you dont know what you are talking about and you are not adding anything valuable to this discussion except negativity.

Why wouldn't I have a clue? Please expand on that one? Why, in your opinion, do you know and me not?

'Lucky the ones who get into PhD already married or in a long lasting strong relationship.'

In that you're not getting any, and you're not allowed to waste time hunting for it either? rueful

You've been doing your PhD how long Adem? Not picking on you [really], but pointing up the obvious.

I started my PhD 6 months ago. In that 6 months I've made loads of friends and had a good time. I've already mentioned that I expect to do more towards the end but until then I'm sure I'll have a satisfying social life and presently I don't feel lonely or overworked. I'm not quite sure where my lack of having a "clue" about PhDs comes from. I'm doing one aren't I? I'm not sure about my apparent contribution of negativity either. I'm actually trying to argue that PhDs are not as gloomy as they are often described as on here. Does nobody know anyone doing a PhD who worked at a good but managable pace, had fun and completed their thesis successfully? I know several and I've only been about here 6 months, as pointed out.

Speaking from your wealth of experience gained in the last 24 weeks then? I'm only teasing you btw.

I'm 18 months in, I thought my first year was pretty good compared to what people on the forum talked about. Reaching the 14month however, totally different story.

So Adem, you can't really convince us otherwise until you have reached the end of year 3.