I found student counseling to be really helpful when I was in a low patch. Although I was offered drugs by my GP I didn't think that they would solve the problem of why I was sad. I would also recommend not only taking a break, but trying to incorporate something new into your week e.g. join a club where there are people other than the people you see at work. Hope you feel better soon!

Hi all
thanks for your replies. Well, counselling did not reply to my email yet so I am still waiting. I am having a hard time figuring out my relationship with my supervisor. He is a great person and listens to me, but sometimes I get the feeling that when our meetings are over he just doesn't care. Most of the time he does not even remember what we talked about a week ago. I mentioned to him once that I was feeling a bit low but I didn't go into many details. He encouranged me to keep on going because he believes in my work. But, I think the best person to encourage me right now is myself... Anyway, I didn't mention anything else after that because I feel that I'll just be bothering him with my problems.. and I know he has many other students to supervise... Thanks to you all for reassuring me I am not alone! I feel a little bit better today, but I am affraid that a new episode might be just around the corner.

Hi compSci,
I know how you are feeling. I went through the same thing. My r'ship also suffered, he didn't understand how i was feeling & how hard it was to 'snap out of it'.
A GP prescribed me with anti-depressants straight off, even though I specifically told her I didn't want them. I gave in, took one of those tabs but experienced side-effects straight away, so stopped and never took another one nor went back to see that dr.
I had counselling at my uni, they usually give u a session of 6 then review if u need more. I know it doesn't sound alot but after 4 I felt much better! The counsellor said she didn't think I needed more but that I was always welcome to go back, so I have had a few one-off sessions every now and then when I am feeling wobbly. I suggest that if the counselling dept don't email you back don't take it personally, just go and see them or call them directly. You’ll feel a lot better once you have an appointment booked, as you’re being pro-active.

(cont..)
As for your supervisor, he may surprise you. I always had a banter/ informal r'ship with my busy supervisor & thought he’d laugh or not take me seriously. However, when he asked me how I was &I laughingly replied that I could be better since my r'ship was suffering and I had been put on anti-depressants, he completely changed, was really sensitive &I ended up crying (rather embarrassingly outside the union bar!!) on his shoulder. I feel it really helped just to have told him, it’s quite a big thing to keep from your supervisor if it’s affecting your work and they may be able to help. My supervisor was sensitive &also gave me a new task to do which helped to refocus my mind, sometimes you need that if you don’t know where your phd is going/what the point of it is.
You may also find this website useful: http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/NMPcms.php?nmppage=default
Lots of advice & understanding people on there if you need to talk.

Sorry for long post, hope it helped!

Hi Dory.. all those things you said are really useful. The like is very helpful as well! I'll try to have a chat with my supervisor as well, and hopefully it will go well! Thanks

Hi CompSci......I got my first three papers rejected (btw, is that a record??)...some for reasons not entirely academic, but that's a story best left for another day....i have been going through what you do everyday for sometime now....and being an international student makes it just harder....taking breaks is not an option...and dont ask me way, but I know I am not gonna visit a GP......i know exactly what you are going through and sympathise with you....cant give you any solutions but just wanted you to know you are not alone....cheer up....it cant get worse tha this!!!!....or can it?

JUst to say that I've also had some experience of counselling and have also found it really really helpful. You have to be willing to work at it though, and be willing to talk (a lot!). I think you'll be fine though Best of Luck!

Oh.. and if they don't get back to you, try just going round to where they're based. At my uni they have drop in sessions, which is realy useful as you don't need an appointment and you get to have a chat for half an hour or so, you'll get a feel for what counselling is all about and whether you'd like to commit to having several sessions

claudia, well they did reply and I tried to book an apointment for monday but now they haven't replied for that! I guess I might just drop by! My boyfriend's cousin studied phychology and is also doing a phd, so I had a chat with her. It was really useful and I didn't feel like "I am seing a phychologist" She reassured me that everything I am experiencing is normal and that she also goes through it. Then we started bitching about our supervisors and mean paper reviewers

Also, gradphd, I can totally relate to what you are saying. I am also an international student so being away from home is really hard. And yes, I do know what you mean when you say that taking a break is not an option.. I seriously hope things don't get worse... but you never know!! I need to trust my supervisor again and believe that my research is good enough for a PhD... I am obsessing about the possibility that there are some fatal errors in there, than neither me not my supervisor can spot (neither of us is very familliar with this area!) Well, I know that I am doing the best that I can and I am working as much as I can. If that is not good enough, at least I tried!

I read your message and thought of my own experience. I spent my entire PhD being rejected and criticised and at the time I took it personally - don't its all part of the process (rightly or wrongly). I am now post doc but still feel worried about submitting papers etc because of fear of rejection etc. Practically all my colleagues have said at one time or another that they feel like a fraud and that at sometime someone will find out! believe in yourself, you got this far, jump through the hoops - you are good enough. Criticism is healthy in this process!

I am so glad all you guys think you are frauds!!!!!! I am not alone!! And I might even be normal!!!!! But on a little more serious note....my advisor and ppl all around me have a really high opinion about me....which makes me always kinda scared that one day they will realise, hey, he is not that smart....know what i mean?? I guess one time or the other we all think we are frauds and dont really belong here. And of course the more you learn, the more you realise how little you know....or of course, maybe my advisor is right and I am smart....naah, who am i kidding!!!

Hello, Im a student and a psychiatrist. The symptoms are suggestive of depression. How long has it been going on for. More than a few weeks? Does anything make you feel good? Is it the first time youve had depression? There are options other than Medication. You could try CBT based approaches. There is a good self help book, Mind over Mood. If that doesnt work, or takes too long, you could give antideps a go. Best of luck!

Thanks for the suggestion AC. Fortunately I posted this thread in the first week I felt so bad so I didn't let it get too serious. I'll check out the book as well.

gradphd and radicalann, I understand what you mean. And I agree, the more you learn the more you realise how little you know! Especially when you are surrounded by academics... you can't help but feel a small fish in a big pond. And I guess all of us had to believe we were clever enough to decide to do a PhD in the fist place and that's why we are getting so disapointed.

It's strange reading your post compsci, I think it's exactly what I would have written a year ago, its exactly how I felt. I think the second year is one of the worst, and know many others who felt the same way. I did get through it though, for me I found seeing a counsellor outside the university, getting some meds to help me see through the fog I was in, and taking a few weeks off to care for myself and get away from the PhD helped a lot. Its taken a long time to get back on my feet again, and things are by no means easy now, but I just wanted to give you some hope that you can get through it, it might not seem like it now but you will be ok sending you some good thoughts!