Hi Heidi, just saw this- many congratulations! I'm so happy for you. You really are an inspiration to me :)

Hi Dr. Heidi,

Congratulations!!! I am very pleased for you and Bea :-) (gift)

Massive congratulations Dr Heidi :-) So very pleased for you and delighted to read this!! xxx

Well done, congratulations :-) xxx

Well done, that's brilliant news! All the best for your 'new start'. :-)

Just back from holiday to find that you have passed- so delighted for you.
What a great role model for little Bea. All the very best for the next chapter of your life.
No doubt you will do amazing things Dr Heidi xxx

Ahhh Thank you so very much for all your lovely messages - I am sure I do not deserve them - but I shall wrap them up and take them with me to enjoy all the same. Our last visit back to the channel isles. It is very beautiful here, but I am looking forward to exploring the pretty streets of Bath with Bea next week. Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend, love H and B.

hi Heidi
I've just read your story, how inspiring, how touching, how beautiful!
congratulations, and thank you for sharing!
love satchi

Congratulations Heidi, that's great news. How inspiring that you've made it! Best of luck for the future to you and your little girl (up)

Wow and I thought my journey was tough... well done you :-) I come from an abusive background, had a husband who had to go for battering and another who died of cancer during my PhD, I take my hat off to you girl!

Dear everyone

So please tell me.....did anyone feel like this.... I was chasing the doctorate....it has been my chosen destination for a while now. I then find myself walking into the boardroom to be welcomed back as a doctor....and now I feel lost. Its like being weightless - suspended - I'm floating - orbiting all that I and all that I was. Perhaps this is just the moment between one place and another. I move to Bath in a few weeks time and then my new job starts in September. Maybe I'll feel more grounded once I am not living in a hotel. I'm tired of living in a hotel. It sounds fun at first...a swimming pool for Bea....people to make your beds...but the truth is its lonely. I have 200 neighbours and each night as I watch Bea sleep I am so lonely.

love H.

======= Date Modified 31 Jul 2012 19:39:33 =======

I felt exactly this way a week after I submitted my final hard copy. Minor corrections done and submitted in 7 days and I spent the next week with a buzz in my head. Then one lunchtime I'd gone out for a walk and I suddenly thought "What next?"

All of a sudden, the stress went from my system, all of a sudden I had all this free time on my hands, all of a sudden, I also realised I needed to think about the future. The PhD had shut out everything else and suddenly it wasn't there anymore.

At long last, the answer to your question is simple. You're suffering withdrawal symptoms. You are between one place and another. You're suffering post-PhD blues. ;-)

You've Bea to consider, therefore you need to consider her. However, my immediate solution was to pay out a wad of cash and go on a big holiday (more correctly a big series of holidays - fortunately I had the post-doc wage to pay for it) to get some serious space. The whole wind-down or healing process can take some time and it can take up to a couple of years (the so called quite few years) to fully readjust to normal life. Women seem to recover more quickly than men, say in one year rather than two and I've no idea why that is.

I've seen some people launch into their next project as soon as their PhD is over without a break and remain as wired as during their PhD. You (I'm talking generally here, not about a specific person) can't stay like that and sooner or later you'll crack if you don't take time out.

Ian (Mackem_Beefy)

Well at least it is now confirmed - I am suffering from withdrawal symptoms. I finished the corrections in a few days - simply because I was lucky and really they comprised of typos. Clearly the 'robust defence' paid off!! You are so right. Concentrate on Bea and our new life in Bath. To be honest I have decided that after a year or so in Bath - I would like to head to Geneva and work for the UN. Bea and I can play around in the snow in winter and have the opportunity to learn lots of languages. I'm not sure if I will be able to get a job in international development and economics there but I will try. As usual Ian your wise words bring a smile to my choppers (thank you). Looking back at that very first email - Bea and I have really come a long way. It just shows what you can achieve if you really try. Wishing you a smiley day, love H and B.

======= Date Modified 10 Oct 2012 22:48:23 =======
It seems like such a long time ago when I reached out to this forum - and expected so little and was greeted with so much. Bea and I are all settled into Bath - I open my curtains to green fields - and can wonder freely in beautiful historical streets that are nearby. The university is inspiring me something silly. I love it there. And most importantly Bea seems happy and content - and is growing at pace! Bea and I are starting to build a little community around us - which makes me feel safe. Its almost too painful to read back over my posts at the beginning - I can barely remember the time. I thought I would never complete and that my quest rested constantly on the edge of a knife. I learnt so much in a very short period of time - and I will never forget the struggle and the kindness I received along the way. I am now chasing up my career - carving out my niche - using the best bits of my PhD to take my research further. I am working with some of the worlds leading experts in international development - and am constantly humbled by the experience. I hope one day I will be able to give back to my students - and offer not only expertise but excellent pastoral skills and understanding. Right, Bedfordshire young lady! Sleep well.

So glad to hear you're getting on well, Bath really is a beautiful place to be so glad you're enjoying it! I bet you never imagined when you were in your darkest phase that you would make it out the other side so very happy for you :-)