It might be just me who thinks that! When you're used to believing (pretending) that you can control things around you then it's odd to accept that our bodies seem to be such a mystery (at least to me -biology is not my strong point). I also think too much.....
If you imagined having a family sooner Cyrogenics, how do you think it would be regarded by your colleagues where you study? Or is that too hypothetical?

Sorry Cryogenics - for mispelling your name and just realised that that is too hypothetical as you haven't started yet.

This thread has set my biological clock ticking again! I spent 27 years saying no way to kids, got pregnant last year (miscarried) now starting a Phd in September. I will be officially putting off the family until I'm done with it, but reading this thread is making me think maybe an 'accident' (a blessed one!) would not be the end of the world. I'm 28, I've got 3 years to go and I want 3 kids. Pinknuron, can I have some of whatever motivation/energy pills you're on? hehehe. Reading this forum has the strange ability to make me depressed and optimistic all at the same time. All the best to anyone's whose juggling Phd and family!

Well sassy, let's assume i have begun and i wanted to start a family sooner. I am sure colleagues would be alright with it and definitely give all their support but my superviosr might have reservations which he might not be bold enough to say in my presence. But I won't care what he thought anyway. It would not be a foolish endeavour to have kids at that period, besiedes people have coped with a lot more in their lives and still came out on top.

By the way filmfundi78, i like that 'blessed mistake'

Did you all have a nice weekend?

Well...I've had a think over the weekend and although my views haven't changed, I think I may have been at fault in trying to apply my "logic" to a subject that has more to do with human feelings than straightforward logic.

As I don't want kids, and don't share the feelings of those that do, I think it would be tactful of me in future not to offer my "advice" on a subject which I cannot empathise with.

shani, sorry for the late answer. I am not sure myself but it sounded to me that if you do not get anything else - in which possition you would be, being unfunded. I have to go to the postgraduate office and tell them this week that I am pregnant and ask whether I get any money or not but I just cannot face it... at the moment I have the feeling everyone is treating me as: she should be old enough to take care. But the thing is - which of course I am not going to debate with any of those people - I was actually told I am infertile and as nothing happend for years I was pretty convinced... therefore I really want to shout at them and say: I am more shocked then you (positive by now but still). But I suppose I have to go and admit to it officially.

Thanks for your answer Cryogenics! Had a good weekend albeit a very rainy one. Good luck Oz with talking to your department - it's your life - no-one else's and you've don't have to explain yourself to anyone. And congratulations - I can only imagine how thrilled you must have been having been told you couldn't have kids. Hello Juno - hope you had a good weekend too and sorry for getting sarcastic with you - no hard feelings?

Hello Sassy: no, no hard feelings at all: I started it by making insensitive jokes, so I can see why people were a bit annoyed with me

Like I said, I'll keep my trap shut over stuff that doens't concern me in future.

hi Juno. I would say that this subject has to be looked at with a combination of the two- both logic and feelings. But your views are more than welcome (and i'm sure by everyone) even if you do not wish to have children.

Thanks Cryogenics: always able to bring people together

Ever considered the diplomatic service?

LOL. I'll bear that in mind and might just take that up

i started this thread ages ago at a time when i was contemplating 'PhD or not?' i was really stressed out at the time and so i posted my qn here. initially i didn't get much of a response and (especially after seeing juno's response) i decided to leave this thread! i began the PhD and am now writing my transfer report with no signs of baby yet! there is no right or wrong answer/decision to this qn - its a balance between career, family and logic; staff attitudes can be differnet between departments if you're worried about getting the cold shoulder from 'others'! anyway, pregnancy isn't the only thing that can take someone away from their project. we're happy (my husband and i) concentrating on our careers although if an accident should occur i don't think it would be the end of the world! i've lately seen people working way into their 3rd trimester and even one person who's water broke in the lab !! i don't think i would do things any different.. thanx again!

Cheers for an interesting discussion - this is my first post on this forum (and any forum ever!), wasn't thinking of joining in but reading this thread got me very interested and inspired.

Big for all yous who manage PhD + family

The sad thruth is that more and more women are postponing getting pregnant for work - and so too in the wonderful world of uni. In my department the only staff members who have children are middleaged women with (nearly) grown-up children. Where are all the mothers of young children? My position is that women have the right to have children when the time is right for them (I'm still considering, maybe in a year or two...). I also think the society (which ever country you are in) should support fathers also to participate - and the fathers employer to pay some of the support too! I know in Finland this is one reason why young women have trouble finding permanent jobs, the employers are worried of the extra cost of maternity leave etc, don't know how this is in other countries...

In the UK, men are now entitled to paternity leave for certain amount of weeks. I'm not sure how many at the moment.