I say, if you are SURE you want a child, and you are in circumstances, whilst not perhaps optimal, but at least workable, have a kid...or at least try! For one thing, there is always perhaps going to be that thing you have to balance when you have kids---I think this is just life. Secondly, no guarantees no matter your age that you CAN get pregnant...and if you/your partner/child's father have fertility issues that need or can be treated, better to get on with it, then to be find out later about those problems. Some people end up not having kids by default--they wait and wait, until one day, then one day never comes and they wake up and are past child bearing age.

That said, I think my friends and family parenting their first child in their 40's are fantastic parents. If you can do it/want to do it I see nothing wrong with people who have a child in their late 30s or 40s. People I know love the experience, are great parents, and despite the health scares and so forth on risks that you here, the folks I know have very healthy and happy children. Yes, there are risks, but risks are statistical, not a guarantee. Like with Downs Syndrome, despite its age related risks, the vast majority of children with the syndrome are born to women under 35.

I agree olivia, if you are sure you want to have kids then just go for it, life will work itself out! I can't understand women who say they definitely want kids but are waiting till they are in their late 30s or early 40s before they even start trying... eek, it's like playing russian roulette with your ovaries!!!

I'm sure kids and PhDs are workable for some people - plenty of people have done both at the same time.

Personally I don't want kids at all. I don't know if that's normal at my age (23), but I just can't imagine ever wanting a child.

I know what you mean rosy. I will be 30 when I start trying (hopefully) and this seems too old... PhD has come first so far!!

Claudia - I didn't think about kids at your age either. Then when I was around 25 my hormones must have gone nuts because I have been completely broody ever since. Completely nonsensical! My friends are the same... Who knows!

I'm not looking forward to being 25 then!!

It was late 20s for me. Had a long wait after that though (insert long story). I think your late 20s - 30s is a good time. I was older but not really by choice.

Do you think early 30s is a good time? so many of my friends started years ago... makes me feel old... I want four as well and only hear bad stories about fertility dropping off when you are 35...

Hehe Claudia - beware your mid twenties, beware!!!

I can't wait to have kids but definately not yet! I am 26, and got married two years ago, although me and my husband have been together for eight years.
Before we got married all anyone would ask was 'when you getting married?', now all it is 'when you having children?'. To be honest I really don't feel ready. I think I'm being selfish but I can't imagine always having to think about someone else and whose needs will always be above mine. You can't just nip out to see some friends, although to the shops without having to pack all the baby stuff up. I'm sure I will know when the time comes.
I don't think doing a phd is the hardest thing you'll ever do, and I think what ever your doing in terms of a job will be tough with a baby. You don't know how you'll cope though because evryone is different, as is every baby!

'or to the shops' not'although ths shops'

If you want 4 you had better get going! Most of my friends had kids in thier 30s and I have noticed that the families/marriages/partnerships seem to be more stable than those that started families in their 20s. Fertility is hard to predict for individuals because the variance is high. Some women will be effectively infertile at 40 but others will be like the average 20 yr-old. If you you want to get some idea of your personal fertility your gp can arrange a simple blood test of your hormone levels to check your ovarian reserve.

Two friends of mine have 4 children. One is 36 and just had the last one. The other is 42, her youngest is 4 and she's in the process of getting a divorce - her choice (hmmm - so much for stability...). Another good friend is about to have her 3rd at 36. She lectures 3 days/week and takes 6 months maternity leave.

Yes I am somewhat bored today.....

A test? How interesting! Yes, I know I better get going... Work is in the way though see - six months field work in a developing country beckons...

I really miss working overseas. I have a half-baked idea that I might get back out there when she's older. Which country are you going to or if that's TMI - which continent or part continent....?

South Asia! Will be wonderful but no place for a baby/young child methinks, too hot, manic and grubby. Am working with really poor communities which is great for me but I have an immune system to go with it so have decided to wait until after f/wk for a baby. I love working overseas but am glad this is my last visit and then I can relax, finish my PhD, have a family and a house and stop travelling for a bit... (then undoubtedly go off again, family in tow)! I was brought up in some odd places and it hasn't done me any harm, in fact, I wouldn't be doing this PhD without it probably!