Sounds fab. I have a colleague who does field work out there but has cut it down to a month at a time and young child stays with dad and/or grandparents. I haven't been to that part - I used to work in Africa.

Sounds like a very attractive life plan altogether.

The "desire" to have kids is perhaps something that is as much socially constructed as it is biological. Not sure if I am a believer in the biological clock, per se. There is enormous pressure in society to get married, have kids ( not necessarily in that order)and women do get a lot of pressure from society "in general" about having kids. Either choice, to have, not to have, ought to be OK. Its a private choice.

I have no kids--but I get tired of people asking about this. Its NYOB--only close friends/family are entitled to hear about why this came to be, certainly not strangers, who make the automatic assumption I do not like kids/did not want kids.

So...to people who want kids, go for it.

I think people bring different parenting skills to the situation at different ages. When you are younger you perhaps have more energy. When you are a bit older, you are perhaps more mature and perhaps have more insight as you parent. I think the main and really only consideration is--do you want this child? Will you love it? Everything else thing is secondary.

People do tend to have a lot of assumptions. It irritates me when people assume I actually chose to wait this long to have a child and that I am somehow purposefully depriving my child of a sibling.

As for socially constructing the urge to reproduce. I think some women who are very ambivalent about having children feel pressured to just do it anyway. But I do think a lot of women really genuinely want children. And when you get older you start to hit pressure coming the other way because you are sooo old!

Thanks smilodon I like the plan too. Always worry though as am rather a worrier by nature.

I have never been to Africa but cannot wait to go one day... My bf is a big fan of travelling and living overseas - we would probably all trek out even if it were only for a month!

speaking about the biological clock ticking - just last week (it was featured on bbc health news) at a fertility conference in barcelona, a study was presented which gives strong evidence of age-related decline in fertility in men. no, there is no strict boundary such as menopause, and some men become fathers very late in life, but still, male fertility declines after the age of 40, i think.
an earlier sociological study i know of discussed that male fertility declines with age simply because older men tend to also have older wives/partners. so unless you count on that strange ability some men have, to get a much younger wife, your fertility fate is tied up with your partner's.
all this makes me think: why is it only ever women who hear said biological clock ticking?

Maybe because it ticks louder, earlier - and some men don't seem to have a clock...

I think that the women/biological clock thing is in part a product of social construction--women who for whatever reason do not have kids come under a lot of social pressure to have them, to say that they want them, whatever--and I think some of this biological clock business is simply more societal pressure to tell women they are supposed to want to have kids.

Women CAN have healthy children and be healthy themselves when they have children in their 40's. In the UK more than the US it seems like there is a real negative view of this...the US seems more accepting of later motherhood, and again, age is but ONE of many risk factors when it comes to having children...people make their decisions and choices based on what works for them, even when the pregnancy or child is not planned...and there I think it should be left.

I applaud people who know they want kids and do it. I equally applaud people who know they do NOT want kids and do NOT do it.

' think that the women/biological clock thing is in part a product of social construction'

Agreed 100% - there was a BBC news article last year... 30% of women in the UK *choose* not to have children and that number is apparantly increasing every year..

I have no clock, I have no desire - I *do* think certain women have a desire to have children though... I have a huge desire to have an awful lot of cats... sadly, as I can't afford them and my lifestyle doesn't lend itself to cats, I am responsible and only have the one.

I have definitely noticed a change in myself that had nothing to do with me, when I was about 25/26. I just really really wanted to have a baby all of a sudden! It was really weird. Maybe some of us do, some don't. I definitely believe in it for me though.

Incredibly helpful opinions presented here and from what I gather, it's a personal thing. I'm probably the type that could pull it off with the right kind of organizing, planning and small team of friends and family about. One of the key reasons I am heading towards a phd is because I want the more flexible schedule - even if it means 2-4 weeks in remote locations or at conferences.

Funny thing about that biological clock: I did not want children under any circumstances until about a year ago (31). Then it hit, and it hit hard. While my head said, 'no way', my body would have incredibly powerful emotional responses to other babies and pregnant women. At this point, no 'research' could ever tell me that the biological clock is socially constructed. My body is speaking loud and clear!

I agree "having a baby" desire is either their or not. Some of my friends wanted to marry/or be in a relationship cz they wanted to have babies. Then again, there are some women who want to have children once they r in a relationship, and some dont want to have children no matter what. And this BIOLOGICAL CLOCK....tell me about its pressure. we cannot deny that its not there, but i know women who cldnt conceive even when they tried in early 20s and then again their are women who do so in their 40s...but social pressure mgnifies this FEAR of loosing your chance so much. I believe, if its meant to be it will happen even in 40s ..so we need to not fret too much about it

I am considering doing a Ph.d with 5 kids ages 21 (university), 16, (high school), 11 and 8 (elementary) and 4 (starting pre-kindergarten.) Am I insane? I did a masters with my first as a single mom. It was tough, but I had my mother and sister to help me. I don't think I could have done it pregnant though. I did work full time while expecting my first, but I was young and was only morning sick for 3 mo. (only, ha!) But you never know how you are going to feel. You may feel fine, have no complications, have a super support system and great docs, or you may be tired, pukey, miserable, lonely and have no support and be expected to produce 2 babies at the same time--your biological and your intellectual. Worse still, what if you do have twins--holy Moses! Why not wait to have the baby, unless you are getting "older" and have some concerns? (I had my 6th child at 43, though, so being an "older" mom to me was not an overwhelming obsticle.)

Claudia, don't worry about your mid-twenties! I don't want kids, and since I was two (literally) people told me that I'd change my mind as I got older: I'm now 32, and I never did. Sure, some do: but plenty don't.

The other thing that gets me is when people ask why I "decided" not to have kids. I didn't; any more than I "decided" to be straight rather than gay, or brunette rather than blonde. It's nothing to do with lifestyle choices, (men always say "Oh, you want a career instead?" as if the two are mutually exclusive) or childhood experiences: it's more fundamental than that.