Ps. Newlease - you weren't repetitive at all - thank you for taking the time to write... when I was feeling sooo bad about it, I kept checking this forum to see if anyone had written anything encouraging yet! Thank you : )

Hi Tudor...glad to have helped!!. I notice you always give really helpful answers to people on the forum.

In relation to my problem. Yes I have a second supervisor...but my primary won't allow me to send things to her untill he says so....so cue months of unhelpful feedback..like 'you need to incorporate literature from engineering field"...I'm not in engineering. ...but that was literally a comment (but about my field)

Anyway I will work on getting around that. For now my focus is on getting as much as can done.

Best,

Newlease

Urgh, sounds familiar in the controlling aspect - bet you can't wait to be finished and free! Anyway - sounds like you have a plan in place and are focused. All the best with it!

I just wanted to say, well done for having the courage to ask for a new supervisor. I know it isn't easy and you will undoubtedly be worried about how it reflects on you.

While not related to a PhD, at my previous job I got put on extended probation by my line manager. I felt like I could do nothing right, that she criticised me over insignificant things. At the time I wanted to ask for a new line manager, but was worried it would reflect badly on me, like I'd thrown my toys out the pram over the probation extension. Ultimately, I ended up losing my job because the head of department took her work over mine that I wasn't good enough, and at the final meeting I actually said that not requesting a change was my biggest regret.

I've got the last laugh though, because the day before that meeting, I'd got accepted for my PhD, which I started 4 weeks ago! :-) It has greatly affected my confidence though, and I feel like I'm requiring a lot more reassurance and hand-holding than perhaps I would have done.

I don't think changing supervisor is something that should be done lightly but I do feel you have the right to be supported and encouraged and it sounds like you made the right decision. Good luck with it :-)

I just returned to this thread to provide an update and saw your post chantedsnicker. Thanks so much! And congrats on your PhD acceptance! Maybe if it had all been going peachy at work, promotions etc, you wouldn't have applied and might have missed the opportunity even!

I understand about the confidence thing. Such experiences can take a toll. I can really recommend a book by John Caunt called "Stay confident". It isn't PhD specific - just a general self development book. Might be a bit 90s (I picked it up from a secondhand shop) but it offers great practical advice for recovering from setbacks and improving your confidence in the workplace.

NOW FOR MY UPDATE: My only regret is not changing supervisors sooner (but even so I have learnt things from the experience). I feel intellectually free... I feel how I felt before I began the PhD (my initial motivations for doing a PhD!)... I am doing things I would have done anyway but with a real sense of confidence and happiness. It is definitely the best decision I have made during my PhD. I am quite quickly rebounding and beginning to love research again.

So bottom line: switch if you need to! Be as diplomatic as possible about it (and even so - be prepared for some repercussions/awkwardness). Don't be held back by fear of the unknown : )