It's so nice to have support here as I don't tend to get it much from family as they don't really 'get' the whole PhD thing. I've spent this morning away from work and the desk (woke up with a stinkin cold) went out did a bit of shopping (sadly too broke to have any proper retail therapy!), had a nice long bath, watched some tv.

Sleepyhead - you have a point & my superviser is also quite young & inexperienced with phd students. This may be why I feel I'm not getting enough support. I also thought maybe I am expecting too much support from them &I should be more realistic about what help they can give, I really don't know!

phd_girl - I have spent the past few months reading my topic area (social sci), but I don't have any actual focus within the area and nothing yet to apply research to! I just read stuff and then think - what the hell do I do now?? Other more experienced phd'ers say the gaps will become obvious the more you read, but I'm still none the wiser

Hi Mokey, I sometimes wonder if you are me writing under a different name!! Six months in, social science PhD, negative feelings about my ability to take anything in and wondering if I should just quit now! I keep telling myself to complete a year and see how I feel then, but does anyone know if there is a 'critical period' for PhD dropout after which time you're more likely to go on and complete?

There is a wide range of views on this of course, but I say, esp. in the social sciences, just jump in and start "thinking out loud" when you write. As you write, the ideas start to form in an active way that they do NOT when you read. Try lining up three articles with the same main subject matter ( like...oh...whatever, palm trees contribution to social well being--that is made up) and then talk about how the articles are the same, and where they differ. As you look at the convergence/divergence your brain should start to work and say, yeah...BUT! and there is a gap. Or you could just start out and say that the existing research on why palm trees are connected to social well being do not take into account the importance of frequent tea breaks ( or some other aspect of social well being) and try to form some conceptual links between palm trees and tea breaks, i.e. if you can take your tea break under a palm tree, you have more social well being--why?

There is more social cohesion because of people gathering together for longer periods of time,increasing the sense of community...or something...use your imagination a little bit. Dip your toe in the water. See what you come up with.

Olivia - why oh why am I sitting here imagining palm trees having a chat over a cup of tea??? hehe, sounds like a more interesting and believable topic than mine right now!

ericonrhicam, you are right, I am also thinking of lasting the year (well, up until the summer probably) and seeing how I feel then. How's things at your end... Have you handed any work in yet? Do you feel like you are making progress?

No - I've still written nothing. I'm using Q methodology, which I'd never heard of prior to now,so I've spent a lot of time trying to get my head around it and getting a pilot study together. I kind of feel as if I'm putting the cart before the horse sometimes though, as I don't feel confident about what it is I'm trying to find out and yet I'm gathering data about it! I also get the impression that my supervisor thinks I know an awful lot more than I do. At what stage do I confess that my knowledge is not nearly as great as he believes - or do I just wait until I submit something in writing and he can see for himself????

ericonrhicam, Wow - you're doing pilot studies already! Shamefully, I don't even know what type of methodology I am going to use yet god, I feel so behind here!
Yup, I too am convinced my superviser thinks I know more than I really do. When I go to meetings I really have no damn clue about half the things they talk about and they ask my opinion and I must appear struck dumb because most of it goes over my head. So now I dread meetings as I feel like the village idiot every time! I have submitted some work but not had any feedback yet.. absolutely. dreading. it.

yes, I'm doing a pilot, but with only a very vague idea of the literature on the topic I'm not sure that it will serve any purpose other than to give me a go at using this methodology! I'm exactly like you in meetings, completely unsure of everything I say. Have you also got the blag ready for when anyone asks you what you're researching? I just rattle off a vague description of what I think it is I might be looking at and hope that no-one probes any deeper!!!

no, I don't have the blag sorted yet as I haven't really been asked yet, I have tried to avoid those situations at all costs ever since I realised this whole thing was turning into a nightmare!
Haha, I keep thinking that I must sort out a blag though, for such occassions!!

sorry everyone - just realised how terribly negative I sound. I have to say, on a positive note, that I really love the practical side of the research. Hopefully when I'm a bit further down the PhD road and I get to do a bit more of this then things won't seem so bad

Wow! Firstly, I don't think anyone should apologise for their emotional state, especially when there are feelings of depression, sadness and anxiety. You do not CHOOSE to feel like that. Those emotions come on for a variety of reasons that can include brain chemicals or environmental ones, or whatever...you don't hit a switch and pick them! Who would? That said, its very scary to feel isolated, anxious, hopeless...and that it will never get better!

I am no expert on mental health issues, but its been told to me that the feelings of depression and anxiety tend to be worse in the morning, if you are struggling with those, and so you might feel at your most wretched when you first wake up!!! Simply getting up whether you think that you can or not might help things!

When I was going through my divorce ( though amicable) it was so stressful. It rates up there on one of life's most stressful events. I compounded that by changing jobs and moving half way across the country--which---I am glad I did ultimately, but it added to the stress factor.

I had what I called the "clean underwear rule." I guess in Britain that would be the " clean knickers rule." And that rule was that the only thing you might accomplish on a given day was to put on clean underwear/knickers--but you had to be at least functional enough to have clean underwear for the day. After that, whatever you could achieve..well...there were good days and bad days. I used to sob in my car my entire hour commute to and from work. I was so stressed I could not remember my new phone numbers for home or work, or my addresses.

Short term memory can be overwhelmed in stressful conditions, and that could be why its hard to remember what you read--your brain has too much to do with just coping. I had to write my phone numbers on my hand to remember them, and I cannot count the number of times that I got lost when driving--I could barely cross town without getting lost--again, because my brain just could not cope. I used to wonder if I would ever feel "normal" again, and if I would ever stop crying for two hours a day.

The answer was yes, but it took a lot of time. And sometimes it felt like two steps forward, one step back, or even two steps backwards and no steps forward.

its hard to have perspective when you feel depressed and overwhelmed, it consumes you, but what helped me was to realise it was NOT an accurate view of the world, it was very distorted. It id not make the views or feelings go away at once, but it gave me some distance from them, and to realise they were not necessarily the feelings on which I wanted to base decisions or act. I tried to just put life into coast for awhile, and get by without any more major demands on myself...hence the clean underwear rule.