Hahaha! The second one especially, is a cracker! That's so funny and so supervisor-like. CeCef, I like yours as well. Ah, let's share the pain and make sure we use these comments when we mark student's essays!! :-)

what a great thread! I now feel like my supervisor isn't just being a complete twat to me! I have 3 sups, one has taken early retirement due to illness, and my main sup is super lovely, if a bit tough....the third though...he's in a league all of his own!

there are several gems, resulting from each meetings, some of the most recent....

after emailing him twice to get a date for our next big supervisors meeting..."Meeting? what meeting? I never heard anything about a meeting....Oh That meeting....well I've already given that date as availability for a conference but I'm not sure if that's when it is, so just say I'm free for your meeting then...if it happens that the conference is the same data though I will just toss you aside, I'm too important to miss the conference...that's life"

after reading the 6th draft of a paper, he grabs my security tag and says "all these mistakes, drove me f***ing mad..."

and on hearing I won a prize for best student talk at a conference...(while laughing heartily)..."we thought maybe you were only student giving the talk and that's why you won, hahaha!!"

sometimes I wonder why he even leaves the house.... :-)

Supervisors say things? Hmm...that's not my experience.

Algaequeen that's outrageous! "toss you aside" ?! Does he just think he's terribly witty?

My third sup was a total git, his response to "Welcome Prof X, how was your journey up?"
"Hmph, train, hmph, where's your toilet?"
He would insult my main sup, yell disgusted ciriticisms at us students, and generally be as obnoxious as was humanly posible.

Then one day, he became a different man. He started being polite, and helpful, and seeking us out in order to say "I'm not sure if I said, but you're doing just fine you know, really you're doing well"....... Yes, Prof X was finally getting laid.

Oh dear, if this wasn't so serious this would be hugely funny - what is it with sups? I still am having difficulty stopping giggling over the nipple comment - heaven help us all!

My main sup is brilliant, the one I had before though was incredibly strict - I met him for a discussion and he had a brown paper bag, he said that he needed it to get through reading my work due to all the commas, I was causing him to hyperventilate - oh ha ha - then the other sup said I had't put enough in - cue big argument between them. The same sup also gave me back my dissertation, 8 days before submission and said it was really good, just a few points to address - on every single page were at least 15 red marks!!! I asked if that was good what he did if it was bad and she waved a carrier bag with shredded paper in it and said - I give you it back like this :-) ahhh, he's a charmer, top guy to be fair, but omg.... My friend's supervisor at BA couldn't be contacted and would run down corridors to escape students. In the end she camped outside his office as the deadline was approaching and she'd had NO feedback or comments or discussion in a year. He arrived, took one look at her and asked, why do you keep stalking me, what do you want from me???? - she pointed out that he was her supervisor, she needed him to supervise and comment on the dissertation that she had to submit which accounted for 25% of her final year marks - and he said that if she wasn't able to spot where she'd made a mistake then she wasn't fit to hold a BA, turned and ran off back down the corridor - pure class!

You don't know that. Maybe he had finally defeated Magneto. :-)

I finally got a response from my supervisor! She does exist after all. And it only took me two weeks and three e-mails.

Oh but slizor, I do! It started as a joke but we later found out it was true, now he tells me all about her and how they've moved in together. It's actually rather cute.

My supervisor is full of non-sequitur wisdom. On the importance of proper planning:

"You wouldn't trek into the Kalahari desert with just a bottle of wine and a roulade of cheese, so why start a chapter without a proper plan!?"

Hehe, I have to admit, it's nicely put (and something I'm guilty of).

My secondary supervisor once said to me (just as I sat in his office with a massive pile of notes): "Ah yes. the best thing about being a PhD student is that you dont have to answer to students and all their demands!" Needless to say, the meeting which followed, was awkward.

Can anyone say here that they don't find their supervisor "interactions" - be it meetings or emails - really uncomfortable? I just feel like I'll never be able to reach the level expected (I am just starting tbf) but still I always feel stoopid doh!

Definitely LarryDavid. I've known mine for nearly a year and a half, he's a great bloke and never has a bad word to say but I still get really nervous every time we have a meeting.

Actually I am getting there with my supervisor. She is tremendously intimidating at first and had a fierce reputation, so all through my MSc I was terrified of her. Now I'm really not- we have a good laugh in supervision and I feel mostly really laid back in her presence now. Sometimes I still worry about saying something really dumb in front of her or catching her on a bad day (that can be fatal!) but I feel quite relaxed with her pretty much all of the time. Sometimes she can be a dragon and she can be quite scathing and insensitive, but whenever I've needed help with anything, work or general support, she's been fab! These academic types all seem to have so many layers to them! KB

That is fantastic! My supervisor doesn't say much to me these days it seems - I haven't had a proper meeting for ages. However, I remember once turning to her for help with major methodology issues only to be told: "Just work out what you're doing and write it down". Needless to say, 6 months later it's still a bit vague...

And going back to this, my sup didn't even think the title was good, after all! But her comments were really useful, as always, so that's alright...

...and she didn't comment on the font at least!