:-) :-) :-)

Chickpea, I think you've slightly misunderstood - I was being a little tongue in cheek.

I didn't say anything needed "fixing". I just meant never rule anything out as we don't know what tomorrow will bring.

Ian (Mackem_Beefy)

I realised there was a tongue-in-cheek element to what you said Ian :) But by dangerous ground, I meant we don't know anything other than what Elflick has told us - whether or not to have kids can be a huge issue - I personally know several women for whom a reversal of that decision isn't a possibility, for example.

Elfick said she had decided herself not to have children a few posts back.

Nevertheless Chickpea, I understand what you are saying. I shall be more circumspect in future when I try to lighten the mood.

Given how down some people are sometimes here over their circumstances, a little well judged levity and positive talk later as their mood clearly improves I believe sometimes helps.

Ian

I agree with Chickpea too - I think this can be a very controversial subject with women, and my hackles were raised when I read your post, even though I know you didn't mean to offend. When a woman decides, for whatever reason, that she is not having kids (or by the same token, is happy being single), it is really annoying/frustrating/condescending to be told that you will change your mind in the future, or when you meet someone etc. It's as if they think that you want children really but circumstances mean you are unable to and you are embarrassed/unwilling to say this and this is generally not the case.

Ha thankyou chickpea and Tree of Life. Although I realise Ian, you meant no harm, it's absolutely fine. But I will mention here that I am so done with hearing "don't worry dear, you'll change your mind..." it is condecending. (By the way I have met the 'right man' by the way and he doesn't want kids either).

Anyway, I know I'm late in posting back here, but just incase anyone else reads this post and is interested in taking time off...
I've now spoken to my supervisors and two project leaders from Germany. The overwhelming response was that taking time off doesn't matter! In fact, my own supervisor said that I could easily take a whole year off. Generally they said that when looking at a CV they want to see publications, and they want to make sure the person will fit in in their lab. If you have an excuse for your time off all will be fine. In fact, a couple of project leaders said time of travelling would be beneficial as it's something they would love to do! Also makes you seem more 'international' with broader horizons, (especially as I've never lived or worked abroad before). In fact not one of them was negative about taking time off... Makes you think.

So now I am thinking of a year off (only problem is I'll miss the boyfriend). Can't wait to finish!

Yes I find it annoying that the decision not to have children is so often seen as questionable, but nobody ever tells people hell-bent on childrearing 'you could change your mind given the right man or whatever'. Even though plenty have regrets about being parents... even if they don't/can't always admit it.

I do not want to sound anti-social but the world travelling thingy that every one wants to do these days is extremely overrated now and is not considered as a cool thing anymore. I, myself have done some world travelling earlier in my 30s, usually every 1-2 years, I took 2 to 3 weeks off to see few countries but after travelling a while, it lost its attraction to me, though some friends continued doing for years even by means of borrowing money or using credit cards. A pair I know still world travelling for almost a decade but I think they do not do it because they enjoy it but more like they do it because its a habit now like those students whom continue applying for degrees after another because they want to remain "professional students". If you ask me, it is waste of time and your life and your youth, there are so many kool-kid with money out there that done that and been there and if you are doing it in low budget (which I assumed you are not one of those kool-kid with money), you will end up in crappy places with crappy food for most of your time you are travelling and most of the people you will meet do not give darn about your PhD in science and see you as just another customer with low budget. You are already 33 and by the time you will get a basic postdoc as you wish you will be too old and too out of the game my friend.

So KimWipes, travelling doesn't do it for you. Me neither. But I know a few people for whom it's the biggest thrill ever, including my mum and dad - who started their adventures with a two month drive to and around Greece in the early 60s. They do not do it to be cool and neither do the other people I know that love to travel, they certainly wouldn't stop because it isn't cool either...

And I think our OP is aware of the possible disadvantages of being older and applying for work. That's clear from her responses. People take risks to pursue what they love and sometimes life is not all about career advancement. I would never have embarked on a PhD if it were...

I agree with Eska. I doubt Elflick cares about being cool or is expecting special treatment because she has PhD (?) It often takes time to get a decent postdoc, so why not spend it travelling if you can afford it? Time out at the end of all that work sounds like a great idea.

Interesting thread this! :-)
Elflick, what is your final decision? Going or not :-)
How about bringing your boyfriend with you?

love satchi

Each to their own, but for me travelling is awesome, if it's on a decent budget, even better :)

KimWipes - was your post a joke?
"The world travelling thingy that every one wants to do these days is extremely overrated now and is not considered as a cool thing anymore"
Who says? Was is ever 'cool'? What have you been reading?
Maybe some strange people with more money than sense do it to be 'cool' (but surely they just end up in Pattaya or Bali or Goa - they're not actually travelling). It's never once crossed my mind. What a strange thing to think??

And I am 33 but I've also not thought of being 'too old' either. As far as I'm aware you don't have to put your age on CVs and I do look a lot younger than my years... Feel it too!

Satchi - I'm definitely going! Somewhere! Ha ha. Certainly for at least 4 months I think. I would definitely do one year if it wasn't for the boyfriend. He won't leave his job, although he could maybe take a month off to meet me somewhere.

I was thinking... cycling and camping around New Zealand for 3 months, then 1-2 months SE Asia...
By the way - I don't have the money to do all this, I will be borrowing it, and travelling on a budget (since when does budget imply crappy food?) But I figure I'll get a job and pay it back in a couple of years. Worth it I think!
Thanks for your interest x