Ladies and gentlemen, the Midnight Express will be departing from Hard Graft Station in approximately 15 minutes time. Travellers are advised to to gather their belongings - laptops, PC's, files, folder, articles, felt tips and crayons - and make their way to the platform as soon as possible. Tonight the Midnight Express will be travelling to Workinghell, calling at Busy Bee, Piled Higher and Deeeper, Callitaday and Notnearlyenough. We hope you have a pleasant and safe journey - and manage to get some work done! Choo choo!