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The One Goal Thread

E

Ooohhhhh ladies really I am very sad. After a very bad weekend, I decided to go to the library today in the afternoon, so I went with my husband. As usual after marriage he is silent all the time. Then started screaming on me and told me that I am a negative person and many other bad things. I told him I am nervous these days because maybe I am pregnant so he told me it is a DISASTER. Really he hurts me. I am sitting now in the library and almost crying.

A

Emaa.. Take it easy hun, maybe he is in a bad mood today, sometimes it is difficult for others around us to understand how this work can be really stressful. I tend not to show my BF alot of how i feel or how sressful i get sometimes, because although he is a really understanding person, sometimes he just doesnt get it.

Dont stress and keep up with the good work

I have hardly done anything today, still waiting for my sups to reply to me. I cooked too :D

oh poor Emaa! Chocolate is the only answer in these situations. Just put it down to him being a man (read 'moron') - I'm afraid they are quite simple creatures and don't always understand the complexities of our world. Walminski will probably confirm this :p

I have done NOTHING apart from pin my work up on the wall so it is staring down at me. I have taken the dog out for a walk (hating this sun as I now look stupid in my big hoody I wear). I really don't know whether to call it quits and go and read a book (fiction) and make a new start tomorrow, or try and do some work! I feel exhausted.

E

You are right Amanda. But he is a master student, so he understands my problems. But he thinks I am a woman so I must be calm all the time. But what hurts me more when he said it is a disaster if I was pregnant. After 3 years of marriage. And I might be pregnant not him I'll lose time and energy not him. It is really disaster for me but I love babies and think they deserve to sacrifice for them.
I am trying to read an article and take notes, it is not easy to study after all that.

E

Quote From sneaks:

oh poor Emaa! Chocolate is the only answer in these situations. Just put it down to him being a man (read 'moron') - I'm afraid they are quite simple creatures and don't always understand the complexities of our world. Walminski will probably confirm this :p

they are really selfish

A

Well then Emaa i agree with Sneaks... i just had some chocolate..yummyyy.. you should have some too.. i would say get some coffe.. but ur in the library..:-)

W

Quote From emaa:

As usual after marriage he is silent all the time. Then started screaming on me and told me that I am a negative person and many other bad things.


Sorry emaa, I hope I'm not being rude to you by saying what I'm going to say. My only feeble excuse is that my fingers are killing me from typing too much, like some inflammatory arthritide, so I'm in a slightly bad mood. But what a selfish knob (not actually swearing mods, so you can't delete it:p). Who does he think he is giving you the silent treatment and then shouting and screaming at you, calling you a negative person. That lad has issues and it's nothing to do with you. You're pregnant and you're doing a PhD. You're not a negative person at all, just under a lot of pressure. If I was you I'd give him a slap and knee him in the groin. But I understand that the situation is more complicated than that.
Just take care of yourself, take no notice of him (because he clearly doesn't understand) and try and do what you can with your work. Hopefully, he'll give you a rightful apology later - and not need to walk head first into a lamp post first. Grrr!

I find mine gets like this when his sugar levels drop - all irrational and angry, so you can try feeding them. I now carry around a treat or two just in case he slips into 'angry bear' mode. 10 mins after eating he then comes back, tail between his legs with a big apology. oh and my husband's the same :p

A

Ok.. i cant say i am looking forward to marriage after this, although i was contemplating to go ahead with it after i finish the PhD..hmmm

E

It is impossible to apology, he is a perfect man!!!!! However I bought some chocolate from the machine and trying to calm down.

Thank you all.

N

Oh Emaa, I'm sorry to hear that you're having a bad day - I hope things work out between you and your husband, especially for you, I think you need to spend a few hours away from him, although he may be stressed and not mean it, it sounds as if he is really getting you down.

I was at work until 1.30 today so haven't been working all day, goal for today is to finish the first draft of my research proposal ready to present it tomorrow...only an informal presentation but still worrying!

A

ok, need a goal for the day....to write something, a sentence, a paragraph, SOMETHING!!!! :( ARGHHHHHHH

S

Sorry you've had a stressful day Emaa.

Got my writing goal done for today. Still quite a poor day overall, but I will do better tomorrow!

A

I didnt think acknowledgents were so hard to write...:-(

A

oh dear Amanda - I was looking forward to sitting down for that bit! :(
I can imagine though, there are so many people I would want to thank, but mainly non-academic like individually naming friends and family! And I would love to be able to acknowledge certain people on here too, or just the whole site for support and understanding!

I think i'll struggle to find people from lab and uni to thank - and i think having to write - thanks to my sup....will actually tear a piece out of my heart!

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