Sorry to post something vaguely serious in this otherwise hilarious thread but...
DanB said "THe other day I got a certificate for having attended some training courses here at uni ! FFS I'm 25, doing my PhD, I do not need a f**king attendance certificate ! Shall I send it back with an angry DanB type letter?"
They give you these silly-looking certificates so that people can prove that they have been undertaking continuing professional development (CPD). They might not be useful to you now (unless you are already a member of a professional society?) but in the future if you do join something (Royal Statistical Society perhaps?), and particularly if you achieve chartered status, the society will stipulate that members must undertake CPD and the annoying certificates are proof that you have!
(Otherwise DanB I completely agree with you about the ridiculous level of PC rubbish that infests our schools!)