Since finding this forum I'm actually amazed at some of the problems that people encounter as apart form the usual stress of 'life' my PhD was nothing like anyone elses on here and I never had any issues with groups / supervisors / students. Saying that, I was given a lot of support by strangers when I was just submitting and having my viva and I really appreciate the fact someone who didn't know me, took the time to reply...
I think 'harsh' messages fall into 2 categories.. they're either constructive criticism, in which case.. it might not be nice, but it's something for the OP to build on... or they're pointless abuse, in which case, that person shouldn't have posted.
I don't reply to the funding questions... but I don't post on them... I try and help when I can and if I think 'Oh For crying out loud.. get a grip'.. I tend to click off and read something else...