thanks so much for your suggestions guys, they are really helpful...will definitely look them up. Thanks once again.

Hey guys,

It's me again- was thinking that if i return to my studies then I will definitely have to go to the British Library in London for a few days every month for research. I'm from Glasgow and trying to find accommodation near the Library is a bit of a nightmare. Anyone, have any ideas or suggestions?- did look on the internet but its so expensive!! I'm too scared to ask my supervisor for advice over this...

i agree...there is no point in doing something if you know it is not right for you. I think what makes quitting a phd harder than any other job is the 'status' that comes with doing it...which unfortunately leads to self imposed pressures to 'succeed'.

People that think 'quitters' just give up far too easily make me angry. From my own experience, the past 3 years for me have been no breeze, rather they have been spent on trying to do the right thing by everyone. Rarely do 'quitters' think about themselves- pressure about what everyone will say, think, and the dreaded 'what do i put on my cv now?' are the thoughts that occupy their minds not 'hey can't be bothered with this so i'll just quit!'

cc- that's a good point- i think it is a good idea to meet my supervisor to go over everything again.

lara- it's good to hear that i was not the only one to have experienced severe depression, feelings of inadequacy and so on. Like missspacey said, its such a shame that some academics can be so unapproachable- it would make a phd much more bearable if they were a bit nicer. Things would have seemed so much better had i discovered this excellent forum when i first started the phd, rather than at the end of my 2nd year when it all started to unravel..

and still cannot. Even fellow phds i found were 'perfect'- so i isolated myself from academics which is career suicide if you are a phd student. Comparing myself constantly to others just made me seriously ill in the end. I ended up having a morbid fear of academic environments- which is not so bad now. Last week, when meeting my supervisor, he invited other academics over, we went for drinks and dinner and i actually had a nice time. They gave me suggestions on how to proceed with my research, so in that sense things are better- it's just a case of actually being strong enough to get on with it

LU Planning, you are very optimistic, how very sweet of you to encourage me like this.

Smilidon- i completely relate to you. In my first year of the phd i was depressed followed by a break down in 2nd year- hence, the 2 year break that i am currently on. I don't know if you ever experinced it, but for me it was other academics- they were so scary, they knew everything i knew nothing, they spoke the 'academic' language, i could,

Plus the whole department knows i screwed up, that i had to take time out due to depression, which is painful and embarrassing, especially since once upon a time i was a very 'promising student'. Going back will involve having to meet this people. My supervisor, bless him, wants me to leave with something at least- even if its an mphil (which the funding board are against, they want a phd, nothing less).

Oh, i just don't know- am gonna have to think carefully. But thanks guys, you've given me a lot to think about.

in my mind it is a case of 'i won't get any job unless i am confident and the only way to get that lost confidence back is to return to my studies, even if i don't want to'.

I still love academia, would love to be a part of that community- it is all a question of confidence, when i started four years back i was full of confidence, now my disastrous experience have left me 'burnt' and i am very cautious.

Firstly, thanks guys for your replies, they really are a big help.

'Do I really want or need a Phd?'- my phd experience completely shattered my confidence, to the point that getting a job would be, in my eyes, be impossible. I have always felt that i can only regain my confidence if i go back. I started the phd way back in 2004 because i had always been a 'good student who researches well', i wanted a career in academia- but i was completely unprepared for the demands of the phd

if i decide to stay. I would have to be 110% focused all the time- no room for uncertainty, depression or mistakes. My supervisor says 'take it slowly, study for only a couple of hours a day'- but seriously i am so far behind i think that every waking minute will be spent studying!!. Or at least i think anyway. Many of you may think i already know the answer but just wanted to hear your opinions on this matter. Thanks.

It is quite a distressing situation- for the past two years i have done nothing but think about this one issue and its torture. If i were to leave then it would be terrifying- have never had a job before and 'phd drop out' on my CV is hardly going to have employers desperate to hire me. Have been in education all my life- thought of leaving it is terrifying but that is not a good reason to stay put. I mean there is going to be so much stress and anxiety involved over the next two years about deadlines and so on

I mean, he came up with very interesting ideas of what i could study- it all makes sense and if i was a new phd student starting out then i would be very happy. But my situation is one were i have been away for nearly two years due to ill health. The two years when i was doing the phd, before i took this time off, were pointless as the material collected is simply sketchy at best- its worthless. So like i said, if i were to go back i would have to start all over again. And 2010 is not that far away

the problem is i think its too late- have looked at the scattered material that i gathered during my first two years and its useless- the max i can get out of it is 7000 words which i presented in a report years ago when i was in my first year. The 10000 words i handed in rcently looked very broadly at the stuff i do know. So, really, if i went back i would be starting from SCRATCH. And I have only one year of funding left, after which will be the writing up stage.

I recently handed in an extended summary (around 10,000 words) of everything I know. I met my supervisor last week and to my disbelief, he says its not bad- there are just large gaps that need to be filled.He thinks i should come back and give a go, if i don't have enough for a phd then i'll have to stick with the mphil. My submission deadline should i return is August 2010, if I return on May 31st of this year. So that is two years I have left to get my head down and study

hey guys,

not been here for a while. Need your advice- at the end of my 2nd year phd I wanted to drop out because i just could not get my head round anything and just got really depressed. Supervisor, said just take time out, sort out your personal issues etc and then come back. That was way back in August 2006 and now, well, its decision time.