I don't know much about either University nor about the topic I'm afraid. But what I would say is take a lot of time over the decision. Approach other academics in the field - just google your favourite authors and send them an email and ask them for a telephone conversation or email dialogue - whatever floats your boat, or even a meeting. You could ask your tutors/supervisors from your undergrad course and meet up with them. You should approach this much more rigorously than say, how you picked your A Levels, as it is the very start of your academic career so will have a huge impact. It took me seven years to decide on the institution, the topic for my dissertation and perhaps most importantly the teachers for my taught Masters. I'm not saying take that long over it, but you could put it on hold for a year - the two courses sound pretty different to me and it sounds like you might be rushing into it. Find out if it's a taught masters largely (which is what you want, because if you end up doing a PhD you won't have any teaching, so you don't want to get dumped in the deep end at this stage in my opinion.) Have you decided on the topic of your final dissertation/project? The earlier you decide that the better - pick your institution/tutors AFTER this, then you can go to the best institution and tutors for your specialised topic. Go to the careers service at your current University and discuss it with them too. If you're unsure about the topic for your final project/biggest examinations then I would recommend finding the thing in your life/studies that you're most passionate about - because chances are it'll be with you for a very long time. Remember that at this stage - you're picking them. You're the cream of the crop if you've got onto a Masters so you want the best fit for you, not the other way round.

Hi LilyLily,

Thanks for sharing your terrible story. You urgently need to go to the students' union, they have legal people at their disposal - that you don't need to pay for. You just turn up. Is there anything that has stopped you going to the union? They are on your side 100%! I've had great help with them. Your university should also have an equalities service - if you're a woman or from an ethnic minority or been ill (which you say you have) they should be able to help you. I've had enormous help from them too. Also if you're worried about your career in taking this horrible person on then go to the careers service. DO NOT PAY FOR A SOLICITOR out of your own money - the University has money to sort out this sort of thing. Just go to the students' union or another trade union. Like you say, this action is illegal and unacceptable, make sure you write down with dates everything he has said and done to you and it sounds like you have a very good case to me. He must go, not you. Have confidence and faith in yourself!

Hi Carefull13

Isn't there a compromise position? Not compromising with your supervisor I mean - but yourself. Say that for health reasons (which you don't need to specify as it is totally confidential) that you need a break for a month or two whilst you consider your position. Over that time you will get thinking whether quitting is the right thing to do. So go to your doctor, say you're overworked (true) stressed (true) and exhausted (true) and get yourself signed off for a break. Or just say you need an urgent holiday - it sounds like you haven't had one yet - and have a break for a month. I think you just need some breathing space to contemplate things, then come back afresh and you might find you're enjoying it after all. I think just throwing the towel in without a break first , without contemplation, well you might regret it.

Dear Yve

Thanks for sharing your story, it means a lot. I'm sorry to hear you have lost your mother so recently. It sounds like going part time was a good idea. Thanks for sharing your list of things that help you get through - that is really helpful. I will try and put my own list up. Have you got any more tips up your sleeve for coping with difficult times?

Dear TCDSW

Thanks for sharing , means a great deal. I have asked Mum what she wants me to do - and it's to continue and finish my PhD (if that's what I want to do). Yes, I have a very supportive partner which is great and a wonderful support. I'm sorry to hear about your multiple losses - but you still think that the loss of your mother was the greatest loss? I think I will end up deferring, hopefully completing in 4 years not 3, so part-time really.

Tips for coping with loss

TIME
Meditation.
Write a journal.
Give the day a mark out of ten.
Try to do something memorable on each day.
Spend as much time with loved ones as possible.
Relaxation.
Scheduling - schedule your time more effectively so you have plenty of 'me time' and healthy activities.
Enjoy the passage of time - note the seasons and the weather.
Live in the moment. At this particular moment in time note precisely how you are feeling, sights, sounds, tastes, what you are doing.
Take each day at a time, each hour at a time, each minute at a time, each second.
Do deep breathing for ten seconds.
If you are really struggling, ask yourself 'What can I do to distract myself for 5 minutes?'

SAFETY
Appreciate being cosy wherever you are - snuggle up in a blanket
Put the heating on.
Try to control your expenditure/maximise income if you can. Monitor it.
Have a cuddle or hug from a loved one
Concentrate on the feelings of warmth, beauty, finesse or other pleasant feelings.
Enjoy reassuring aromatherapy - like frankinscence.
Try to get everything that is broken fixed.
Ask for help from friends and family.
Don't make big decisions at this time - like moving house. Appreciate what you know and love.
Do some cardiovascular exercise - keep yourself healthy and well.
Give yourself your favourite free treats when you concentrate on your safety - like a cup of tea, lipsyl or a hand massage.

EMOTIONAL SUPPORT
Ask for support from friends and family - ring them or pop round.
Schedule activities where you meet people or talk to them on the phone.
Utilise professional support - from your GP or other service where you can.
Now is a good time to just see the friends and family who nurture you, not see the ones who are like leeches!
Appreciate the thing you have lost - with photos, momentoes, just remembering how they were and imagining them being as they were. Their spirit and soul live on in our memories at least.

Dear everyone

Thanks so much for your responses. Helps to make me feel as though I am not alone in this. Satchi - I have learnt to think of myself first, thank you for that. I know that my Mum wants me to finish my PhD - just not sure whether this is actually possible. Redridinghood - thanks for sharing about your sister, sorry to hear about that. Good luck in your path too and I hope you take care of yourself too. Bewildered and Eska - thanks very much for suggesting the part-time option. I will look into that. Best wishes Anon007

Dear Esk
Thanks very much for sharing your story. It helps to know that others have trodden the road before me. I'm not sure how it will turn out in the end, but I suppose none of us do. I think it's trying not to regret too much and tackle those negative emotions before they get out of hand. I have a lot of support from friends and family as well as the professionals so think I will be alright. I think it was John Lennon who said 'Things will be alright in the end, and if they're not alright then it's not the end.' Best wishes.

We found out last summer that Mum has terminal cancer in her bones and found out three weeks ago that it has gone to her liver. She has a prognosis of 1-2 years currently. Obviously this is a major upset and extremely distracting. The PhD was already a major challenge to put it mildly and I am really struggling to do any work at all. Currently I am suspended (18 months in), but due to submit a report to upgrade from MPhil to PhD in mid May. My latest meeting with my supervisor was incredibly positive which I should be happy about, but instead feel under more pressure from myself. She said what I had written was 'really useful' and the beginnings of a publishable article. It would be great to hear from you if you've been through something similar. I am willing to try virtually anything to get me through these difficult times - I've tried hypnotherapy, counselling, time off, coaching, acupuncture etc. Should I just do an MPhil, thinking about doing a PhD when all this personal stuff is done and dusted? I was lucky enough to get funding so ideally want to carry on, but at the moment feel decidedly unsure about this. My confidence is through the floor, I just feel like I can't do it, even though I've had good praise.