404- lets have babies together! Lots of babies- who needs men anyway. Lets start a commune and kidnapp 18 year old prime specimes for a spot of fun before we release them back in Bedford!

Free babies for everyone. We can give birth under water in a big bubbly jacuzzi and have a beer afterwards. The Matriarchiate rules!

weight and low self esteem- and looking down a microscope for too long doesn't help either.

As little as possible- I don't like to be bollocked around and be told that I am not showing enough gratitude towards other lab members (who said they did not feel this way and that that was total bollocks from my supervisor). I'm finding it harder and harder to smile politely, not listen to what she's got to say and walk out smiling again.

Stu- do you really want the full version A to G ???? With who told whom what over a beer? How my supervisor talks about unpublished data at conferences? People stealing other peoples conference posters??? No, please! I want to stay sane!

Sixkitten- one things for sure- if we shagg B we've got to make sure there's no moaning, groaning or YES!YES!YES!YEEESSS! going on, as we're technically not allowed to speak to B.

Meanwhile, lab E have discovered a new gene in a patient cell line they recieved from us, A. We (A) discovered, that this cell line has a mutation in an undiscovered gene. So, E should have offered us a joint authorship on this gene found in our cell line (as we gave them this cell line with the agreement on a joint authorship). E say that they got a second cell line from lab G, which also has a mutation in this new gene - and therefore didn't really need our cell line to discover the new gene. That's obviously bollocks- they found the gene in our cell line and then stumbled on another cell line once they new what they were looking for.

Aww, that's nothing. Someone in our group (A) gave something to someone in the next door lab (B), thinking that our boss had agreed to it. They (B) are now directly competing with us on this project (using our constructs), and are now saying they got the samples from another rival lab (c). The other lab (B)is collaborating with a new group (D), that is headed by an ex-postdoc from our lab. This ex-postdoc (D)promised to always ask us to collaborate with him first, but obviously hasn't kept that deal. Meanwhile group B says they are also colaborating with lab (E), which is an absolute top class lab. We've heared from the ex-mphil student of another lab (F), who is now doing a phd in lab E, that E is not colaborating with B.
The lab heads of lab A and B have both told their people not to talk to the other lab.

... and could our aviator wearing avatars hold hands, please!

thanks.

Jewel, how did you loose yours? I lost my house key last week but found it again by back tracking and thinking of what I've done and where I might have left them. 'Course house keys are not so bad- I can always sleep in the lab ....

You could always soak that cheese cake in ethanol .... that way you wouldn't be drinking it ..... and cheese cake has a way of soothening me. Or how about rewarding yourself with a piece of cheese cake for every task done?

Hmm, there was a paper circulating here last year about a homosexual, necrophiliac duck:

http://education.guardian.co.uk/higher/research/story/0,9865,1432991,00.html

Watching a duck rape another, dead duck- and then getting excited enough about it to write up a paper about it .... ? ...... attempted rape flights in ducks.... who said humans are sick.

Err are you trying to fake your data- or just planing to make it look less dodgy??? The more complicated a graph is, the more scientific it is- so don't forget to add some nice interactive arrows, plentiful colour (especially RED), pictures of your lab mates and pet, make the type face of the figure ledgens as small as possible.

Oh, and Don't forget to include the Bedford logo at the top.

As she's at another university and just came back for gaduation day- no problems there....

Hmm, we haven't got a smily with a really gleefull expression, so I'll just sit here and feel smug.... he he

Did I mention that she was finished in under three years??

Last year we had a PhD student who had exceptionally good postdoc supervision, an excellent project, no major setbacks whatsoever, published first author twice in good journals- and just couldn't understand why we other PhDs where struggling so much .... now she's working in a different lab, and things are not going good for her and she's developed a stress related skin condition and had to take some time off.

... I feel a itzy little bit of schadenfreude (i.e. Happiness at someone elses misfortune)now - does that make me a bad person??

Don't mention how much you like her bunny jumper- my supervisor never wore it again, and we didn't get a picture of it.