Beth

Is the bullying related to your PhD student activity or your employment at the second university? Given the culprit is at a third institution, there is very little that can be done formally through HR as neither your employer or your PhD university can force another university to take action against one of their staff. I would suggest that you ask your HoD in the relevant university to alert their HoD to the situation though - if this individual is bullying you, then there's a good chance the same is happening there and this might help with the evidence trail to move against him/her. But if you say it's prosecutable, why not go down that route - report it to the police or if it's civil law it might be worth sending a solicitor's letter. Easiest of all, if you've got incriminating email evidence sent from a university email, report it to the computing service of that institution - I'm pretty sure all institutions have codes about misuse of university emails. You've clearly made an enemy of this individual now, so I don't think you've got much to lose. Are you in UCU or another campus union? It might be worth a chat with a union rep to get some advice on what you can profitably do.

I agree you've got nothing to lose in complaining at this point. Are you still signed off sick? Or back at work? If you want to get everyone very anxious, I'd suggest you refer yourself to the occupational health team at the university as your job has made you ill so you need their support. HR starts listening when they are involved. You might also get some decent advice on stress management etc although I wouldn't hold my breath. Like LindaLou said, chase up the union rep again too if you have the energy.
On transferring, I agree I think it's going to be difficult. I have a couple of thoughts although they all will take longer than you might like. First thought, assuming you can take & use the crucial data - how about just applying to start afresh somewhere else with a similar project that would allow you to use your work thus far. You might end up finishing before you're able to submit but it might get you round the problem of no transfers being allowed. That assumes you could afford it of course. My other thought is could you write up this project for publication rather than a PhD so you got something out of it, and just apply for funded PhDs elsewhere like a normal applicant? Final thought - after all this, do you still really want to do a PhD (I think it I was you, I might hate academia with such a passion that anything would seem preferable to further exposure...)? Don't put yourself through it, unless it's really what you want to do. I mention this only because I know when I get really stressed, I can sometimes only see one path forward, whereas there might be lots of better ways to go. Good luck!

A strong possibility is that they've sent the corrections in as promised and they're sat in an administrator's in-tray, because that person has taken two weeks off for Easter and has not arranged any cover. A lot of the time, the paperwork surrounding vivas has to go via a graduate school or examinations office and cannot, however frustrating, be sent direct to the candidate or supervisor. I imagine it's to cover the university, so they can prove correct procedures were followed.

Being accepted onto a masters in Germany is often more about whether your courses in your bachelor map well onto the material the masters assumes you have covered. They might ask for a subject specific GRE rather than the general one to prove this. I would suggest you use the DAAD database of courses to search for suitable courses taught in English (unless your German is good enough to pass the language exam) at www.daad.de. That should help you get a list of possibilities - I had a look and there's only one masters course in computer science specifically taught in English at the University of Bonn, but there are 26 other related courses, which may be of interest depending on what specialism interests you. Here's the Bonn course anyway http://www.informatik.uni-bonn.de/for-students/master-of-science-in-computer-science/

I think if you want certainty, the best advice is not to do a PhD! The research process is not so forecastable that you can plan for things to happen as you wanted....And unfortunately whatever looks like the hot thing now almost certainly won't be in four years time.

I am what you would describe as a success story but one of the ones from whom you don't want to hear. PhD finished in just over three years, straight into a 2 year postdoc and then into a permanent lectureship. Frankly, the only lesson I can offer is never to underestimate good luck. I had colleagues during the PhD who did everything right, just like I did, they networked, presented, published, did secondments etc and are unemployed. Am I better than them - no I really can't say I am. If anything I was less organised but I was lucky. The only thing that I can think of that I had as an extra skill, which might have helped with my postdoc grant application was five years previous employment as a fast stream civil servant, which taught me how to write persuasively.

More seriously, educate yourself about the realities of the job market in your field, keep your mind open on what careers you would like to go into (note careers - in this day and age a sole focus on academia is a recipe for disappointment in my opinion) and try to keep as many options open as you can. Make use of the training offered by the university and if you can go on a GRADschool session, do (look at vitae.ac.uk for details).

Hi Yannah,

The answer will vary from university to university and on the conditions of the grants etc - your situation seems quite complex as it sounds like you are an employee of a separate institute altogether so it isn't clear to me whether the grants, CT scans, computer etc are linked to your employer or your PhD institution. A useful starting point though would be to look on both websites for their guidelines on intellectual property and see if that clarifies anything. Other things to read - your conditions of employment / contract and the small print regarding the grants you had - both might answer some questions. I suspect that as you are an employee you might well not have the intellectual property rights to the material, but your situation does sound complex. It might be something that you need to approach your institutions' research offices with as a hypothetical question. i think you'll get away with the computer but the research material might be a whole different matter.

I think you have to decide what you actually want. Do you want to stay in academic science or is it something you're doing because you feel you ought to? Are there alternatives that appeal? Assuming you're in the UK, getting a lectureship in sciences does mean that you do have to stand out these days but the series of fixed term postdoc contracts, which is the alternative is quite stressful in terms of never being able to plan much ahead. How safe is funding in your field - I ask this given how many research groups are collapsing as charities withdraw funding? Assuming you are comparing yourself with others realistically, do you want to stay in an environment where those comparisons are a normal part of working life - feeling mediocre can be quite damaging to your self-esteem. I think perhaps the questions are, can you see yourself becoming (and would you want to) a PI, is that realistic in your field, what does a non-PI career look like in terms of desirability and in all honesty is there something that appeals more? Is there a careers advisor for fixed term staff where you work? It might be good to get professional advice.

Heidi - that's great news. It will take the pressure off you a bit. I'm glad you're feeling a little more optimistic. Good luck with everything!

That sounds like a plan - you can do it! I have edited my own post too to take out a reference to location. Like Delta said, do keep posting if you need a bit of online support.

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Heidi, you are not a failure! Your husband is behaving appallingly even if it is due to his illness.
I think you need some human contact to get you though this - is there a friend or family member you could call and see if they could come over? Even if you hate asking for help, don't want to tell anyone what's going on etc you need to talk to someone. Or what about a local support service? It's great that you've got legal representation - that shows however defeated you feel right now, that you are not giving up! You will find the strength to protect yourself and your daughter however it feels right now.
As far as the PhD is concerned, is the deadline really completely inflexible? What would they do if say you were lying in hospital? Can you talk to your supervisor at all or a director of graduate studies to see what possibilities there are? If you can get any sort of extension, do so. If it's completely impossible, I think you need to try and break it down as far as possible into daily amounts so that it doesn't feel as overwhelming.
Finally could I suggest you edit your post a bit to take out some of the bits like locations that make you identifiable to anyone who knows you? If your husband is going to be difficult to deal with, it might be safer.

Is the 1.5 years in event management your only work experience? Or have you worked in marketing prior to your masters degree or in Germany? Do you have an undergraduate degree in marketing or similar? I think the advice people might give is going to vary depending on what the answers are. I've got a feeling that marketing is one of those professions where professional rather than academic qualifications matter in the UK. It might be worth having a look at the Prospects (www.prospects.ac.uk) website to check.

I would agree with the others - it's about being courteous, respectful and also remaining open to the possibility that you are the person who is wrong. I remember being convinced my supervisor was completely wrong about something only to discover several months later that she had been 100% correct, and had I listened I wouldn't have wasted quite a bit of time following up something fruitless.
I've also seen a number of train crashes at conferences in particular, where an arrogant PhD student decides to agressively question a speaker on a point that everyone else in the room knows the student is wrong about (it tends to be at the start of a PhD when the student has yet to realise that they don't actually know as much as they think they know). It tends to end badly...

Is it possible to do it at a neighbouring university rather than your own? I think it would be very difficult on a few different levels to have a colleague as a supervisor. But I don't think you've really got any choice - we all know how vulnerable academic jobs are atm and there's no point giving them a reason to push you to the front if any redundancies are made.
There was a poster a while back in exactly the same position - unfortunately s/he lost her job despite starting the PhD but from what I remember s/he had some comments that might be useful for you, so it might be worth doing a search of the forum.

I think you need to make sure that your partner understands the realities of the academic job market if he doesn't currently - many non-academics seem to think that of course a job will come up at the local university and that you will get it, without understanding the numbers applying and the lack of jobs. In other words make sure he understands why you're considering this properly. Is his job one that he could potentially find work in the other place?
I do know people who live like this but it's a real test of a relationship, and children tend to be the deal-breaker. Is it a fixed term or permanent job? I think it's more manageable if it's fixed term, so that both of you know it's not permanent. The other thing is have you taken into account that your weekends might not always be free if it's a lectureship, as open days, widening participation events etc often take place at weekends.

While I think from your post that walking away as amicably as possible is probably best in this case - there is absolutely no shame in saying this isn't right for me - I have a few thoughts.

1) Have you got a plan of what you are going to do instead? Can you actually afford to just walk away now, especially if it means an expensive move back home, having to overpay rent etc to get out of a contract? Don't walk out without thinking through the finances - there may be better points to quit.
2) You're right to say that academia is not good for work-life balances and perhaps does demand sacrifices beyond the rational but long hours are the norm in a lot of graduate jobs. 9-5 is just not something that many desirable jobs offer. What do you want to do instead? You might want to look into alternatives a bit before jumping into something else. Similarly, although you say your supervisor is harsh, you are probably going to get that elsewhere too. It's one of the nastier bits about transitioning from being an undergraduate in my experience - my first boss in the civil service was a slavedriver with sadistic tendencies, but I think a lot of why I found him so hard to deal with is that I couldn't do much right and was rightly criticised, but I was used to praise at university. The change was hard to deal with - what I'm trying to say is how much of the way you feel about the specificities of your PhD and how much about that difficult transition. Talk to friends doing other things and see how they are feeling.

Even after saying all of that I think what you say about the PhD topic itself (point 1) makes it sound like a 'doomed to failure' experience, and I think that reason for walking away now is very very valid.