Oooh what fun! :-)

I love Gandalf and Dumbledore, but I would immediately replace Yoda with the master of logic that is Spock.
Typical supervision: logically sound of course, but his tendency to point out the weaknesses in my work (all of which are merely the result of the human condition - not poor research you understand) might get old real quick.
Most likely to say: "Work long and prosper"... what else!

N.B. Regrettably, the Zachary Quinto version of Spock (yummy) would not make a very good supervisor for me. I fear I would spend more time on my make-up than my work in preparation for meetings.

It's amazing how common anxiety disorders seem to be, and this is a good environment to voice your concerns and find support.

My advice is to seek professional help as soon as possible. Don't put it off. Why wait to see if it will go away on its own or try to control it without help? It's a problem now and could potentially get worse.

My partner saw several therapists before he found the right way forward for him (psychotherapy). He still suffers occasionally with anxious feelings, but the frequency of those feelings and his reaction to them have changed dramatically over time. For him, it's definitely been an issue of learning to cope with anxiety and control it to an extent. He suffered for so long without help and it only got worse, and he struggled that bit more to learn to control it and break the habits associated with it.

My friend also had a lot of misery which began with an anxiety disorder (panic attacks and general anxiety, not OCD). She didn't seek help. The help for her anxiety was eventually bestowed upon her in rehab, ten years after she was driven to drink to calm her anxiety and alleviate subsequent depression. Of course, I'm not saying you'll become an alcoholic if you don't seek help, but don't take any chances. My friend was transformed from being strong, happy and outgoing to an extremely miserable, lying thief very close to death. No one would've predicted it. (She's very well now incidentally - 2.5 years dry :-))

Best wishes

Thanks :-)

======= Date Modified 29 Aug 2010 21:48:26 =======
Copy the spelling if it's a direct quote followed by [sic] (spelling in context). I do this even if it's just the American spelling of a word to be on the safe side, but I've seen other people not bother. I certainly wouldn't correct spelling in direct quotes, or else I wouldn't be *directly* quoting them :-)

I'm very happy for you Killahtron :-) I cannot tell you how much I am looking forward to being in your position. I'm 27 and I am now on job number 17. There have been some truly sh*tty ones in there! My current job is alright, but plenty of other people could just as easily do it, a point which frustrates me more than the poor pay. This is indeed a big milestone, and I think it takes a lot of long years struggling through horrible, mundane, poorly paid, low skill jobs to understand and fully appreciate just how important this is for you.

Congratulations! (tree)

Just have to agree with the strong reaction you've had in response to your idea. In a word: DON'T!!!

Again, I understand and have empathy for this tendency to play yourself down so you don't suffer the embarrassment of being shot down and having people believe that you think too much of yourself. It's your way of saying "I'm not getting above my station. Please don't laugh at me for being so foolish as to think I deserve this job". But what you actually would be saying is: "I lack experience, I doubt I'm the right person for the job and my application is simply me trying my luck". If you're going to brave this application, you've got to give it your best shot, which means put it all out there and risk the embarrassment. Ultimately, you have to have a convincing argument as to why you are the best person for the job (and, ideally, you should believe that argument - work on that). If you're the best person for the job, why would you tell them that you're probably not? Look at it from their point of view; why would you expect to have no chance?

Being aware of weaknesses in your application is important but only so you know how to address and compensate for those weaknesses. So forget this list of reasons you think you're not quite what they're looking for. Your job is to tell them that you ARE what they're looking for. Start that list!

Apply!

What, other than a little potential (and probably unjustified) embarrassment, have you got to lose. Reach for the stars and all that. You said yourself that you will regret not having tried. I think your reservations are completely understandable and I would feel exactly the same way in your shoes. But ask yourself how you'll feel if you don't apply and you find that the successful applicant is not much more experienced than you. I've let other people take opportunities from me without a fight because I was afraid to try so I mean this in the best possible way: grow a pair!

Good luck (up)

I don't have any wonderful advice but encouragement I think I can manage.

You've not really stated a specific problem and it seems like you're struggling with general frustration, lack of motivation, and feeling like you're alone. It seems to me that everyone who undertakes research feels this way at some time, so in that way at least, you are certainly not alone. You only have to look through other threads on this forum to see these issues time and time again, so don't beat yourself up about it and ease some of that self-inflicted pressure. Start with the least difficult/ most easily achieved tasks - small progress is still progress and will get you moving in the right direction.

About there not being much more to do on your topic: I don't understand. Surely you must be doing something worthwhile to add to your topic or you would not have been accepted onto a PhD in the first place, so have faith in your research.

I don't have any advice; just wanted to wish you luck. My husband and I bought our house as undergraduates and we didn't even tell our mortgage broker that we were students (fearing it would count against us), but we both had part-time jobs. I think the difficulty you have is that it isn't permanent income - kinda like having a temporary job.

Have you been to many mortgage brokers? My experience of them is that they are very helpful and prepared to look far and wide if that's what it takes to get your business. Finding people mortgages is how they make a living after all.

Good luck with your search.

Hello Guy

I don't have any personal experience to offer, but wanted to wish you luck. Your confidence has been (understandably) knocked, but you must have faith in your work and abilities now more than ever. I truly believe that confidence is the most important attribute a person can have no matter what the situation. I am never less assertive or more stupid than when I am lacking confidence. It's a difficult task but it is clearly very possible for you to achieve your goal, or else you would have failed. Of course it's possible for you to do major corrections and fail, but there is no reason at all (other than understandable but not quite rational fear, of course) for you to overstate that possibility. You say you need some idea of your chances to get a PhD, but nobody here is more qualified to evaluate your abilities than you. Regain your self-belief and you can answer that question for yourself.

Good luck (up)

I really don't feel learning should be ALL about employment prospects. I understand many people go to uni for better prospects, but I don't think that link should be encouraged. Going to uni should change a person's job prospects only because it has changed them as a person. If they look at the world with a more open, analytical and critical mind, on top of all the subject specific learning, then finding employment should follow. The current media attention on the question "what is the point of a degree if it isn't useful" (and, of course, they have their own ideas as to what qualifies for the term 'useful') boils my blood.

My first degree (English language) focused two entire compulsory modules on employability and it was a total waste of my time. This also boiled my blood. We were encouraged to think about 'transferable skills' and perform arbitrary SWOT analyses and personality tests. We completed essays on how English is a 'blue-chip' subject, in terms of all the useful stuff we learned that could be applied to the work place. And this useful stuff, by the way, wasn't critical thinking, research skills, the ability to consider more than one argument in a balanced manner etc (y'know, the stuff uni education is renowned for); it was team-work, presentation skills, working independently etc (y'know, the stuff you could just as easily learn at McDonalds - in fact, employers might consider that work history evidences these skills more so than uni).

Students should be told about employability... but it should begin something like this: "It's extremely difficult to find employment of any sort and will be for a while, and competition is very high because there are so many graduates. It is likely that your degree won't be enough to impress prospective employers..." At which point the students should be advised about the benefits of getting a part-time job, volunteer work, extra-curricular activities etc. Then they should get back to what uni is all about: education, not training.

That I was forced to sit through these lala land classes about the supposed benefits of a degree, only to witness so many of my uni friends completely unable to find any job at all as graduates infuriated me. They were deceived when they should have been warned. And in no class was it ever mentioned that the real purpose and benefit of a degree had nothing to do with income.

Sorry for the lengthy rant- my lecturers were (ostensibly at least) very much in favour of teaching about employability, and I feel it did much more harm than good.

I'm often not motivated to do any of it, but I start with my smallest/easiest task (even if it's not small or easy) and force, force, force myself to do it under the threat of tremendous guilt. I always find that starting is the hardest part, but once I have started, motivation kicks in. (I should probably never stop - problem solved!)

Oh, and I agree that you should stay away from CoD! :-)