Overview of bleebles on PostgraduateForum.com

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Signup date: 03 Aug 2010 at 6:26pm

Last login: 05 Mar 2015 at 6:30pm

Post count: 310

bleebles 310 posts
14 years ago

Quote From helena_h:

:/ I do English and I'm used to my tutors saying such and such is inelegant, condensed, spraswling, frail ... and much worse.

Me too :-)

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bleebles 310 posts
14 years ago

I agree with the others; cite it, but don't place too much significance on it. I've done it, and so have far more experienced academics in my department. (up)

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bleebles 310 posts
14 years ago

Quote From jepsonclough:

I don't recall saying I didn't like the sentence - my (non academic) husband didn't like "comfort zone" and so I was looking for thoughts on that specific term which I actually quite liked. Understandably one phrase out of context is difficult to judge but equally I didn't want to identify myself by more detail so I posted an approximation of the full sentence and then the comments moved away from my original question (including the term "clonkily").

I'm sorry JC; I genuinely thought you didn't like the sentence and wanted to change it. Here's why:
"...my husband (who has proof read it for typos etc) doesn't think that one of the phrases in the abstract is academic enough. I tend to agree with him but I can't think of an alternative."
To paraphrase: you don't think it is academic enough and you want to find an alternative. So, no, you didn't *literally* state that you didn't like it... but you can see how others might be given that impression.

There is also a reason for the comments moving away from your original question. Some judged "comfort zone" to be perfectly reasonable, and therefore looked for other things in the sentence that might make it seem less academic. Again, in an effort to help you. I'm sure nobody meant to make you feel like crap.

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bleebles 310 posts
14 years ago

Quote From jepsonclough:

Ouch now I feel really crap. No-one has ever told me my writing is "clonky" before :-( [...]

"force/drive/push/pull/encourage them out of their 'comfort zone'" I think again this seems to be more deliberate than the results indicate - push might be Ok (as a push!) but that feels unacademic to me

Firstly, you shouldn't feel crap; nobody said your writing was "clonky". You posted one sentence (that you said *you* weren't happy with) in this thread, and it was scrutinized accordingly, in an effort to help you. Nobody so much as implied that there is anything wrong with the way you write. We all have awkward sentences to deal with at some point - which I think explains why a) you received quite a few suggestions, and b) nobody else was able to resolve the awkwardness satisfactorily.

The reason I don't like "take them out" is because it seems intentional to me - as though the exposure is doing the action purposely (which, I think, is your reason for not liking "removed them from"?). This may well be a personal preference, and had I not been given the sentence in isolation and encouraged to scrutinize it, I may well not have even noticed it. I agree with you that "removed them from" suffers more severely from this issue. This might seem like a strange thing for me to say given that I suggested seemingly stronger forms (i.e. force/drive), but I think something can force or drive something to something without intention (i.e. I can say "the noise drove me to insanity" or "it forced me to have a long hard look at myself" - in neither case would one immediately infer intent). But this is a matter of connotations and not strict semantic denotations, so perhaps that's just me. And they are, as I said, quite strong words and perhaps not appropriate for your purposes.

Anyhoo, that's just my opinion on the matter, but it's not my work. I think it's safe to say that the sentence has now been thoroughly over-analysed. :p

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bleebles 310 posts
14 years ago

I think 'comfort zone' is perfectly fine, but (as already suggested) requires inverted commas. I also agree with Helena; it's the 'take them out' that sounds clumsy - almost as if those words should be in inverted commas too. But I think 'remove them from' is far worse. Some possible and semantically varying options:
"... exposure to xxxxxxxx may force/drive/push/pull/encourage them out of their 'comfort zone'..."

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bleebles 310 posts
14 years ago

Quote From sneaks:

I think Bleebles is a nice youthful sounding name ;-)

Haha, yes! Trust me, it's preferable to my real name. To maintain my anonymity (because I quite like it) I won't reveal my actual name, but, to give you an idea, it would look at home on a 1940's school register alongside "Agatha", "Edwina", "Gertrude" etc. :$

P.S. I hope there are no Agathas, Edwinas or Gertrudes here, and my apologies if there are :p

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bleebles 310 posts
14 years ago

I have, in the past, put my DOB on my CV to AVOID discrimination! (Not for any decent jobs - y'know admin etc.) I have a really old-fashioned name - the kind that would make one assume I am nearing retirement! My mother didn't think of these potential issues when she cruelly named me :-(

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bleebles 310 posts
14 years ago

Well, the mere fact that you're considering it makes you very different than me! I would hate it! I remember this horrible feeling of dread and fear I felt when, as a child, I got lost in a park and thought I'd never see my family again. I would expect to feel the same way travelling alone.

But, clearly, you're braver than me! You only have a couple of reservations so you should bite the bullet. Given your reservations, my advice would be not to go for too long - or, in the very least, not to stay in the same place for too long. A few days exploring on your own shouldn't be long enough for you to feel lonely. (up)

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bleebles 310 posts
14 years ago

Quote From sneaks:

I'm just finding it difficult to work out whether its her personal style of writing, or an academic style of writing that I'm not good at. She gives me NO feedback, just changes. But she does repeatedly say my writing style is good. But I've thought for a while now that is her own way of motivating me - its not really working.
She also tried to 'motivate' me to finish by saying I couldn't have this funding she'd set aside until I'd completed my thesis, so I pointed out that I'm now going to have to get a job in morrisons - she's now offered me the funding (albeit very little of it!)

Of course, it's difficult to judge without seeing these additions in context, but there is no one way of writing academically, and writing styles vary lots between authors. That said, if the points you are making aren't as clear as they could be, or your writing style is detracting from the flow of your argument, then that's something that needs to be addressed. But I believe if these flaws existed in your writing, she would be able to explain exactly what the issue is (i.e. 'this bit sounds a little ambiguous because...' or 'if you put "however" here it will help because...'. Have you asked her? Don't ask about the general changes- pick a couple of specific examples and ask her what is gained by adding 'however' in this particular sentence etc. If she says only that it 'seems better' and can't give you any other valid explanation, you have no reason to change them.

I really feel that developing one's own writing style is extremely important; firstly, I consider it to be part of a person's academic identity (but then, I'm in linguistics so maybe I place more importance on it than others), and, secondly, what will you do without her? So, whether it's to improve your writing style or simply to establish it, you really need to find out the reason(s) behind these changes.

P.S. What you say about her own idea of 'motivating' you makes her seem like the 'I know best' kind of person, and whilst that is probably mostly true (she's your sup so you'd expect it to be), it is unlikely to be always true. If she doesn't recognise that, she may well be inclined to impose her own personal writing style upon you, instead of advising you and allowing you to make your own decisions.

P.P.S. I hope she funded you enough to save you from Morrisons! :p

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bleebles 310 posts
14 years ago

Glad you're feeling better. Ultimately, it's your work, and you're the best judge of how it should proceed. I wish you the very best of luck (up)

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bleebles 310 posts
14 years ago

Quote From jepsonclough:

There is always the fourth option of pretending someone had take yo rphone and it wasn't you at all.

Pfft! And let someone else take all the credit for his wonderful recital of pi to 100dp?! :p;-)

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bleebles 310 posts
14 years ago

I don't know how you can stand it! These changes relate to writing style, and you already have your own. Of course she prefers her style, because it's hers. But your work should not exhibit her writing style.
You don't like them and they're done in your name. Remove them.

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bleebles 310 posts
14 years ago

Not at all inappropriate to mention it. It's not all about the bad times on here, and thank God! Happy for you :-)(up)

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bleebles 310 posts
14 years ago

Quote From sneaks:

I'd want to buy the hotel I went to on honeymoon :-x

My honeymoon hotel was horrible, but I could rectify that with another, proper honeymoon. Then I could buy that place instead :-)

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bleebles 310 posts
14 years ago

On top of all the lavish items and luxury holidays etc, I would love to say that I'd still pursue and academic career, which would be even better without any financial concerns. I'd love to say that. But in reality, I think I'd get real lazy real fast. At some point I'd quit, because it would be too easy not to. I think it would leave a gap in my life that money can't fill. I honestly doubt I would seek challenge if I didn't need to. So yeah, winning the lottery would ruin me! Just as well I don't play :p

Overview of bleebles

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