Confidence definitely increases but only at the end I found. After the first year I thought I knew everything , at end of second year I was a mess and during the third year I realised how little I knew and dreasded anyone asking me about it - after submitting I feel like the worlds expert againa nd cant find enough people to talk to about all the things i know!
I do think iot is important though to get things in perspective and not let your PhD define you in terms of your general confidence about yourself.. so it is important to do other things and acheive in other non work related areas. The PhD is just a job after all and noone knows everything about their job.

change supervisors if you think you will work better together - it is so important to have the right supervisor and dont worry if some egos are damaged - there are polite ways to do it. I wish i had - I had a lame duck 2nd supervisor who i kept and he added nothing to the project - attended only one meeting in four years and didnt even read the thesis before submission - yet still his name is on it grr! so in retorspect I wish I had changed to someone else when I was given the chance instead of worrying about how it would look or future issues.

Does your dean of academic affairs/whoever deals with ethics know? I would have thought that this would have been if not 'not allowed' then certainly frowned upon in any Uni - its cetainly not allowed at ours - the supervisor in this case must give up the students project - if you really think it is affecting others working in the department then I think you should bring it up with an independent person.

You have to be honest about whether any favouritism is really being shown and get proof - ie at what hours is she allowed access to equipment when you are not.. I would then raise it at whatever forum you have - maybe leave the relationsip out of it and just propose that you see a lack of fairness in the equipment and ask for rotas etc..

Am I being thick? what is a panel? I have never come across this and Ive submitted...

I am shy and hate conferences though have been to 10. They are of limited networking use unless you have someone to introduce you. I hate the endless coffee breaks standing alone like a lemon! You are unlikely to be approached unless presenting. Dont just pitch in others conversations - often people have worked together for years, sharing old jokes and wont appreciate the intrusion.

Better to be up front, walk up to someone nice looking, say 'Hi this is my first conference - feeling a bit lost...what do you research etc...'...

Looking at posters fills in times when standing about alone but I always take some reading or when there is time to kill or irrelevant talks.

They are usually very casual in my experience (biosciences). I normally wear jeans, top/shirt and take a jacket/blazer to smarten it up
Dont feel bad if you come back having met few people you will learn something from the talks.
Some conferences have a social event/excursion to break the ice..

thanks for all that advice people, is very reassuring and feel better about facing it now...

Im coming up to my viva and wondered if anyone who has had theirs could tell me whether I should be spending time reading up on my examiners papers (his topic is not very closely related to mine) or not and whether he is likely to discuss general things about the wider area of (in my case ecology) or if they stick largely to the phd topic and the thesis in particular? My supervisor has been really unhelpful with advice and Im getting really het up about it.

Anyone got any general tips? Is it really like a 'defence' ie should I be on guard the whole time or is it more of a discussion? can I agree with the examiners criticisms? will he expect me to tell him the criticisms i have of my own work? or will this make me look incompetent...
help!
Also was anyone told they had passed before the viva started?

I think it should come down to practicalities - will your job pay more than his? can he get a job where you are going or is he specialised, do you see yourselves together in five years time, do you want kids - will he have to support you then? what makes you happiest - your career or your homelife?
If you are very career orientated I think you will end up resenting him if you stay - especially if he isnt willing to discuss the possibility of moving in the future. Maybe you can make some sort of deal to move and try it for two years and then move back if he doesnt like it.

dont most of you have an office to work in ? I thought that was pretty standard? I shared an office with three other committed phds and we are next to the kitchen for endless cuppas and if I wanted music I use headphones. I found it very easy to work there. I think its healthier to leave work at work and when I went home I could relax and not be constantly picking up papers. In my fourth year I had to work from home and hated it especially in winter - I went a bit stir crazy and felt like I never left the house. I found I had to get up with my husband at 6am and walk to the gym in order to 'simulate' a commute to work...
otherwise I would have sat in my jim jams all day and fretted. I think you can be in danger of getting very isolated if you dont go and work outside of the house a few times a week.

I just submitted and am waiting for my viva. My motivation was principally to do something I enjoyed for three years and to get a better job at the end of it in the area I love working in.

The latter has not really come to fruition yet but whilst I was doing the PhD my motivation changed and it really became about challenging myself and achieving something that noone, including me thought I could.

The whole process is pretty addictive and that gets you through - also it is a great lifestyle - you never have that sort of work freedom again to manage your time and decide which direction you want to go in - its a shock when it ends and you end up working for other people again!

To follow on from below - I agree with previous posts that an element of compromise will be needed - if your other half is never moving and you want to specicalise in upland work you have to be sensible as what jobs do you think you would go for after a phd?

I have had to make sacrifices following my PhD and move slightly out of my chosen research area in order to eventually live with my husband as we recognise that his job will always pay more and I may want time off to have kids etc.. it makes sense that I am the one to compromise the career. Depending on your situation you may be storing up a long-term career incompatibility problem as we did. I sympathise!

I am also a wildlife ecologist and just submitted my phd. The chances of getting the right PhD if you restrict yourself geographically are slim, this area is hugely competitive.

My husband has a good job in London and I was offered a place up North. After much talking we decided I would take it, so we lived apart for three years. It was hard, particularly going to seperate flats after our wedding! but it is possible.

My supervisor was very hands off and didnt care if, when there was no fieldwork, I spent a week per month working from London. Theres really no need to be tied to your uni everyday with external internet access it's fine,there will always be lots of time when you are not doing fieldwork or labwork. You just get good at making the most of your time together and a phd is so much work it can be a relief not to feel bad when you are working all hours and a partner is at home waiting about.

I dont regret it.

Then you can wheel this out if it isnt stuck to at a later date. Sounds a bit hardcore but the people i know who did this had a much better experience than me and remained on good terms throughout. Your supervisors dont know what level of supervision you want unless you make it clear what you are comfortable with and work best with. ie - do you want them to set deadlines and chase you for things, do you want to be left to it to develop your own ideas, do you want them to check protocols etc.., do you need pastoral support from them, motivation..etc... its all important stuff to have clear from the start and you are in an ideal position for this.

One of my colleagues had a supervisor who met her every week and set a work plan for each week which they checked at the following week - I thought this sounded awful and too suffocating but then she wrote up a year and a hlaf quicker than me with much less stress!

i think it really varies. From my experience this is exacly what to expect for the next few years. My supervisors were very uninvolved with my project and I only met up with them twice a year even though one of them was at the university with me. This became a real problem by year three and caused a lot of friction and resentment.

In retrospect I think I should have been more demanding about meetings and feedback from the start. At your next meeting I would try and structure some sort of definite plan about how often you will meet and how long you can expect to wait for responses to emails etc... Get it in writing in the form of minutes of your meeting and get them to sign it to agree on what was agreed.

youre just really expected to know how/where to get knowledge when you want it - not to have it already - it does depend on your PhD though as mine expected a fair bit of prior knowledge and experience from the outset. As you are a fairly new graduate though your BSc just really shows them that you have the ability to learn, and that you have a relevant grounding - they wont expect it to inform much beyond that. As long as you swat up a bit on the specifics - the principal current research in the subject, think about what you have done that is similar or show them how you managed your dissertation at uni so you can show you are enthusiastic at the interview about that particular PhD (rather than phds in general) you'll be fine.

Once you're in you have months to get a handle on what you're doing and what you need to know to do it. I spent the first four months reading before deciding to radically change the project direction anyway..