I am also doing Psychology/mixed methods, and have had some of the same concerns. One thing I have noticed though, from presenting posters at postgrad conferences, is that people are actually very interested to hear about my research, because it is 'real world' and not too abstract and they can see what I am doing and why. I would agree with the advice given by others here - focus on the originality and possible impact of your work.

From the information you've given, I'd also be tempted to take the one with the 40-minute commute. However, I'd have a few trial runs of the commute for both jobs at different times of day (to make sure the 40-minute commute doesn't turn into something three times that long at rush hour, for example!).

I think I may have a few things in common with you, kathryn. I am certainly introverted, a bit older, got a mortgage and not wanting to move around too much to chase jobs. I am still doing my PhD, and am not at all sure what the jobs market will have for me at the end of it. I hear you about hating having to sell yourself for poorly-paid jobs you could do standing on your head. Like HazyJane said though, getting a foot in the door with something more stable sounds a lot better than where you are now. It is frustrating that there aren't better options, but I think you would feel better even from having a steady and reliable income, which would take away some of the pressure you're feeling now. Unfortunately, we do all have to sell our personalities to a certain extent at interview (there's the famous line about interviewers deciding in the first 15 seconds whether they like us or not) so in the past I've just psyched myself up and gone for it - it gets easier with practice.

I agree with others about practising before each interview, preferably with someone you trust to give you honest feedback. Left to my own devices, I tend to answer questions in a measured way which can sound a bit flat and unenthusiastic, and my partner has managed to train me to enthuse a lot more!

This does sound like a very precarious situation and it's not one I would be willing to go on with. What's his reason for telling you 'graphic' details? Is he getting a kick out of it? You say he becomes upset if you say the wrong thing, so it sounds like you're trying to tiptoe round him all the time. That's not a good basis for supervision. I'm afraid I'd have to find some way of telling someone about it or changing supervisor.

You are also putting yourself in a dangerous position by giving him advice on his marriage. Who's to say he won't take it out on you when it all goes pear shaped? If I was in your position, I would insist to him that it is not my place to give advice and that he needs to see a professional counsellor about his marriage.

I wouldn't. I would just treat him like any other participant, thank him for taking part and include him in any follow-up communication you intend to send your participants (eg if you've said you will send them a report at the end of the study).

When you're doing interviews, people can be more or less helpful, and more or less polite, and one of the important things about interviewing is just to handle the less helpful/less polite ones courteously, even if they haven't said anything useful. You did the right thing by not telling him what you thought.

I know what you mean about it feeling strange, after all the focus on using objective academic language. You often see reflective writing in published qualitative research, where the researchers will start by introducing their own experiences and interest in the topic. It allows readers to consider the research in the light of the researcher's own angle on things.

Have you started a PhD yet, Dunham?

My subject area is different from yours, jennypenny, but my Masters dissertation included a short reflective chapter, in which I explained things like my background, values, interests and so on, and how these might have impacted on the research questions and focus I chose for the research, looking at both the strengths and potential weaknesses of my particular perspective. It might be worth asking your supervisor's advice about writing in the first or third person, as supervisors and institutions vary on this one, but I definitely used the first person when doing reflective writing as I'd have found it far too awkward otherwise!

I'm doing a Psychology PhD too, and my first year was mainly reading/writing/planning too. I also did some pilot testing of my materials, but recruitment/data collection didn't start properly until the latter stages of first year.

Great news, Adam. Good luck with getting your changes done and with your next viva.

I'm sure it is technically doable, Auroracase, but my impression is that lots of us find out that it's not very realistic as so many things can happen during the course of a PhD. I'm on a 3-year studentship too, and have had numerous hold-ups and stumbling blocks with recruitment of participants and data collection, for example. Like you, my supervisors are focused on it all being completed within the 3 years, and it is helpful to have them trying to keep things on track, but it sometimes means I feel at odds with them in supervision (for example, I want to talk about data collection issues and they want to move the conversation on to whatever they think the next target should be).

Although you don't need to work for the money during your 3 years, you may well find that you take on some work for the purposes of developing your CV and getting on in the department. I have taken on teaching, invigilating and research assistant work along the way, as well as doing things like teacher training, because I want to develop my skills as much as possible as well as producing a thesis.

At the moment, I'm aiming to have at least a full draft completed within the three years, thinking that this gives me the best chance of applying for jobs while still dealing with editing, corrections, viva etc. To have the whole thing done and dusted within 3 years would be quite difficult I think, as you'd need to submit months ahead of the 3-year cut off, and it would depend on your research all working like clockwork.Those are my thoughts anyway!

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. It sounds to me like you need to tell someone in your department - if your supervisor's unavailable, then maybe the head of department, or another member of staff you know? (Or whoever is in charge of PhD student welfare - there is usually a designated member of staff). But please tell someone and try to get a pause put on things for the moment, to give you the time you need to be with your family.

I agree with others that it's unfair that so many PhD students end up in this position. It's great to get a funded studentship, but unrealistic that they only last for three years when nearly no-one completes in that time. I'm not at that stage yet, but am still data collecting and have my supervisors going, 'start thinking about your viva!' even though I'm not remotely near that stage. They're just trying to push ahead all the time because they know there's no money after the three years.

One thing that can be a real bonus is if you find the type of job that allows you to nibble some time back for your PhD. I'm not suggesting such jobs are all that commonplace or easy to come by, but I previously worked night shifts in a residential unit and as long as all the residents were settled overnight, there was nothing for me to do but work on my Masters! If you are looking for work, it's worth at least thinking about which jobs will leave you with some headspace and energy at the end of the day, rather than jobs that take over.

How about looking at advertised PhD posts? That was how I got mine - someone had already defined the broad research area and then at the stage of applying I had to say how I would approach the topic (there was a lot of leeway to do my own thing with it, but I think this differs between PhDs).