Thanks people. Just the abstract and footnotes now. Sleepy. Supposed to be having dinner out tonight. I will also be up most of the night marking GCSE papers and then going to the bindery tmrw morning. (can I have a cartoon tired person as a picture please?!) ;-)

This time tmrw. I want a thesis in my hand!!!!!!!!

Gah. I had to sleep. I knew I couldn't format hundreds of footnotes and bibliog when that tired. Must try and get done by the end of the day and send to binders tmrw. I could still meet my deadline of the 30th.

Right. I need to have it with the binders by early afternoon.

Need to run through footnotes. Re-write part of a chapter, and clean up the bibliogrpahy. No sleep tonight.

I was not so sad that my adopted emotional homeland won the other day, hee hee ;)

Way behind on the schedule - it all feel to bits. Had to spend 10 hours yesterday marking GCSE papers. Well, I will be up without sleep until Tuesday lunchtime and I still will be unhappy with what I have (sloppy footnotes, too down and sad to implement most of my sups comments etc)... but it will be in .

I had a paper accepted into a journal today, bringing a nice sense of completion to the thesis. Every part of it is not published as a paper and one section as a book chapter. A nice bit of news in an otherwise cheerless week. I also have a very kind friend proofreading and correcting parts of the thesis that I am too tired or drained to pay attention too :)

Now back to the thesis...

I think I am pretty close to a mental breakdown, I have so much to do in 8 days (and not even 8 full days, more like 6 full, because I must work for money too), and I spend most of the time sat in either tears or numb. I just can't believe someone would choose to do this so close to me finishing.

Since this has happened, the exes housemate and an acquaintance (we are all at the same institution) have revealed how absolutely manic and unpredictable his behaviour has been for weeks. The last year of my relationship has been like witnessing the descent of a man into complete mental illness. I am so sad and worried for him - but also in so much pain over all this. I just want this all over. To finish my thesis and to just run away. But there is no running away. I am trapped in this city until Spring for work. I was so happy to be finishing soon, and imagined a happy time with me having a PhD, a pt lecturing job, and a happy boyfriend who had finally chosen to leave his PhD (he hasn't and won't even though he loathes it). Instead all this has happened and I have an ex who is very unwell and I myself feel pretty much broken. It is my birthday in 2 weeks. Needless to say it might as well just not be happening.

What a mess, I am going to get this thesis whatever it takes. Sorry for the pityfest. I just have to get it out.

I agree that some advice can seem smug BUT it is crucially important to write as one goes along. A thesis just doesn't happen and cannot be written, even in a year. Certainly in the humanities it is the process of 3-4 years of constant writing. I was talking to my sup today, and he said that is is only in the last 18 months that my work has reached doctoral quality. Now if I am typical (I may not be) that means that the first two years or so are spent writing crap and learning to change it.

Don't worry, my proposal for a phd went through 3 seperate drafts before I was given a place. The end thesis is totally different except in the road subject area.

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Thought I would procrastinate 15 mins away doing this....(can all be found on youtube)

Some of my favourites from my beloved Nordic lands and Germany ;) Not exactly Now 76! material perhaps, but these songs are my PhD because I have written lots of it to them....

Jónsi "Go Do" - Icelandic postrock/pop hybrid/instrumental (contemporary to now - the others below are a few years old..)

Stafrænn Hákon - "Glussi" (instrumental - this is lovely to listen to with eyes closed and headphones on at max volume!)

Cajsa Stina Åkerström - "Vänd Dig Om" (Soft lovely female vocal Swedish language song from a few years back. Very soothing.)

Polarkreis 18 - "Allein Allein" (German indie-pop) -farily recent actually.

BWO "Voodoo Magic" (I love this pop song, perhaps because I fancy the lead singer or because the song is catchy...)

Jessye Norman "Isoldes Liebestod" -Tristran and Isolde (German Opera - Wagner, guilty pleasure!) - the last three minutes are a wall of perfect sound.

Thank you both for your posts. I feel better today than I have since it happened, though still a bit scattered. But enough to start concentrating properly on the thesis.

Today I am going to finish the methology part of my introduction and try and set up my thesis as well as I can.

Aim: try and finish by 6pm.

Thanks. No chance of a real holiday sadly, too poor for that. But when I have handed in, I will make sure it catch up with friends. My viva is going to take place the opposite side of the country. I will stay with both my parents (no sympathy from them) but I have a few friends there that I can catch up with. I had planned to get the train back after the viva straight away to see the ex and imagined the happy phonecall. Not going to happen now. Sorry to be morose. I think will be the last post I make about all this. :(

Thanks . Not much to say really. I need to get it done. Feel very insecure. I'll get over it. Just unbelievably sad.

Congrats on finishing the chapter :)