Thanks for the suggestion AC. Fortunately I posted this thread in the first week I felt so bad so I didn't let it get too serious. I'll check out the book as well.

gradphd and radicalann, I understand what you mean. And I agree, the more you learn the more you realise how little you know! Especially when you are surrounded by academics... you can't help but feel a small fish in a big pond. And I guess all of us had to believe we were clever enough to decide to do a PhD in the fist place and that's why we are getting so disapointed.

that it will end one day! with or without the degree!!!!

Also, gradphd, I can totally relate to what you are saying. I am also an international student so being away from home is really hard. And yes, I do know what you mean when you say that taking a break is not an option.. I seriously hope things don't get worse... but you never know!! I need to trust my supervisor again and believe that my research is good enough for a PhD... I am obsessing about the possibility that there are some fatal errors in there, than neither me not my supervisor can spot (neither of us is very familliar with this area!) Well, I know that I am doing the best that I can and I am working as much as I can. If that is not good enough, at least I tried!

claudia, well they did reply and I tried to book an apointment for monday but now they haven't replied for that! I guess I might just drop by! My boyfriend's cousin studied phychology and is also doing a phd, so I had a chat with her. It was really useful and I didn't feel like "I am seing a phychologist" She reassured me that everything I am experiencing is normal and that she also goes through it. Then we started bitching about our supervisors and mean paper reviewers

Hi Dory.. all those things you said are really useful. The like is very helpful as well! I'll try to have a chat with my supervisor as well, and hopefully it will go well! Thanks

I was also told that if you start it, and stick to it, you'll (probably) get the PhD. It would be good to have some actual statistics though

hi there..
sounds exactly like the things I am thinking... I am also doing something that is not very related to my previous studies, and I too have a boyfriend saying he believes in me. Self-doubt is very normal. I don't want to dissapoint you, but it gets worse in the second year (and probably the third year as well). Research is like that, because you can pretty much only count on yourself and it makes sense that you'll be scared you won't make it. I still did not get over my self doubt.. The only thing I can say to you that I keep trying to remind myself, is that pretty much all people that I know that have a PhD also had this feeling of doubt and worry. So, keep saying that it's normal and it will pass eventually!

does anyone know any statistics of how many PhD students drop out, how many fail their viva, how many have to take a second viva etc?

I totally agree with almost everything I read for this thread. I can really relate with most of you. I trully believe PhD students do not get enough support from their departments or other academics. Most departments believe they provide sufficient support by giving a desk, a chair and a PC. The mental health of the students is completely ignored. During the first week, I remeber going to talks about Use of Labs, Safety issues blah blah blah.. none of which I reallty need right now! And yes, for some reason most academics/supervisors completely forget what it was like doing a PhD... maybe they choose to block out and erase all the horrid memories!!

Hi all
thanks for your replies. Well, counselling did not reply to my email yet so I am still waiting. I am having a hard time figuring out my relationship with my supervisor. He is a great person and listens to me, but sometimes I get the feeling that when our meetings are over he just doesn't care. Most of the time he does not even remember what we talked about a week ago. I mentioned to him once that I was feeling a bit low but I didn't go into many details. He encouranged me to keep on going because he believes in my work. But, I think the best person to encourage me right now is myself... Anyway, I didn't mention anything else after that because I feel that I'll just be bothering him with my problems.. and I know he has many other students to supervise... Thanks to you all for reassuring me I am not alone! I feel a little bit better today, but I am affraid that a new episode might be just around the corner.

oh yeah.. I forgot to post something useful for snappy! I guess you already know this but practice makes perfect, so practise as much as you can. Take some notes with you, and be relaxed. When you feel you are getting stuck, have some water to give you time to think!

don't worry snappy_jaws you'll be fine... You have a great opportunity, to be able to present at a conference... I wish I got anything accepted and got a chance to present...!

hi rick
experiencing such intense stress and being depressed myself, I have to say that I don't really feel I am getting enough support from my university. They do offer some training for phd students (such as Starting a PhD, Time management etc) but I can't say I found those courses very useful. Mostly because I didn't take them when I was actually feeling low, and because I don't think the facilitators really related to us (phd students). I tried to contact one of them to personally discuss my stress and they never got back to me... For me, it would have been very useful if I could know more about what to expect BEFORE I started a phd. For instance, such courses could be held for potential phd students, by some 3rd or 4th year phd students, where discussions would be more honest and sincere.

Thank you all so much for your replies. I take everything you said into account and I really do try to get over this. I contacted the Student Counselling office for some advice, before I go visit a GP. I hope all goes well... I need to find the strength to continue because I do want to finish the PhD, and that would potentially be the best cure! All your messages are very very helpful. It is reassuring to know people understand this and are willing to help me through. Thank you all so much.

hi all...
I know probably many topics have been listed on this subject.. Well, here is another one. I really don't want to sound like a baby, or like I am the only one who has difficulties but I can't help the way I feel. I am in my second year of a PhD and I think I have become clinically depressed. My first papers got rejected. That, combined with all the stress and pressure, and general tiredness of the PhD triggered this awful depressing feeling. I feel AWFUL all day long. I strugle just to get out of bed... I can't eat, or sleep and I am tired every day. I've lost weight and I am not feeling healthy. I really feel and believe that I am a failure, no good at what I am doing, and that I will not get my PhD. I keep looking at my work and all I think about is that it is not good enough and at some point someone will find something fataly wrong with it.

I feel lost and hopeless and that my life has no future. I hate myself, my university, my life and everything related to what I am doing. I cry almost every day. I can't focus on my work. I don't feel like doing anything anymore. My boyfriend is extremely worried about me, and he doesn't know what to do anymore. Obviously, this is causing a lot of problems in our relationship as well. My parents are also very concerned and I don't want to worry them all the time. I really want this to stop and this feeling to end, but I don't want to take any medication. I think about quitting my phd but I don't want all my work to go to waste!

Am I crazy? Does anyone else relate to me and know what I am talking about? Will things get better?