Flack, many congratulations on getting on to your PhD. It seems to mean a lot to you and it's a great achievement. I'm sure your parents would be proud. It's sounds as though other members of your family may have their own insecurities but try not to take their attitude towards your education personally.

I actually felt really gutted for you reading your post. I can't say I relate to it entirely as I am close to my family (you make me feel very fortunate) but the PhD is not a big deal to us. That said, I don't have any real friends but that partly my fault and so you are forunate in that you do have. Blood shouldn't bind people together but times we share, our experiences and the support we get (I just happen to get that from my family who are blood and you seem to get that from your friends). Be a good friend to your friends and channel your energy into them and make them your family.

Don't be sorry, that's why we are here to give off steam and I hope it helped.

I hope things improve for you, that you enjoy your PhD but don't get so engrossed in it that you forget the people who matter - your friends.

I was unemployed after my first degree and when I eventually got work it was only ever short term temporary. During and after my masters, it was the same story (I specifically did a PhD for the funding) and now the funding for the PhD has ended and I've had 4 job rejections in the last couple of weeks and no prospect of a job in sight....

I have a couple of general statistics questions but can't post them here as it would help identify me (I've asked my supervisor but they haven't responded and the clock is ticking and I don't want them to realise who I am).

Could someone with a grasp of statistics post here and I'll PM them, please:-)

======= Date Modified 04 Oct 2011 13:19:03 =======
It should be your first supervisor but if you have concerns be tactful and send it to all three, saying something like, 'Just to keep you up to speed and to let you see what I've been doing..." Hint that you would be receptive to feedback but let them decide if they want to read it and hopefully they will.

I haven't been through viva but would suggest you don't send this list in advance but keep the list, bring it to the viva and keep it on your person until the issue arises. I know it's easy for me to say but these are typos (minor things taking everything into account) and so try not to worry too much.

Good luck!(up)

======= Date Modified 26 Sep 2011 20:57:39 =======
Hi RLD1984,

I got monthly face-to-face supervision for the first three months and the first session was very constructive and very helpful.

Had two to three face-to face supervisions each year, over the three years but it was difficult trying to get the meetings organised and they were not productive, even though I sent notification in advance about what was to be discussed.

Took 18 months from submitting my literature review to getting feedback and I only got track changes for the first few pages and no more for the many pages after (so I'm not convinced it was read in full). I was virtually pleading for it. Feedback generally takes months not weeks and again I'm not sure my stuff is read in full. I always set the deadlines and submit work in advance of these.

I tried directly and indirectly to get them to commit to feedback deadlines (e.g. When can I expect this to be returned please?) but they get back whenever they get back, if they get back...

The sad thing is my supervisors are really nice people but quite obviously, to me at least, they shouldn't have expressed an interest in taking on another PhD student.

======= Date Modified 25 Sep 2011 12:58:58 =======
You are who you are and you say you don't know how your parents or friends would react. If you do decide to come out and your friends do not support you, then give them time and if they still don't accept you for who you are move on and try to make new friends who will. As an observer, reflect on your parents attitudes towards the gay community and this might give you some indication of how they'll respond. However, you're their child and so they may react differently. They might already have an inkling or they may not and it could come as a complete shock or wash over them. You need to do what you need to do in order to be yourself. Do you have any gay friends who could share their experiences of coming out or perhaps you could even seek guidance from LGBT helpline. However, ultimately, your experience of coming out (should you decide to at this stage) will be unique and no-one will be able to predict how others will react.

I wish you all the best and hope it all works out for you!

Many congratulations and well done (up)

Yes, I am full-time, as I was very fortunate to get funded. It really is very important that you come to an understanding with your supervisors about the type of supervision as I wanted face-to-face but struggled to get meetings and when I did they were completely useless. That is, I was happy in the meetings (my supervisors are very pleasant people to deal with face-to-face) but when they ended I realised nothing was achieved or learned and they had no real purpose. I am happy with the track changes they seem to like but was frustrated at first because I wasn't used to that form. As you pointed out, it is good from the point of view I can tell whether or not they've read through the material (I'm not always convinced they do) and I now much prefer this method.

If my supervisors couldn't do track changes but were great face-to-face long distance supervision would be difficult and I'm not sure it would work. My supervisors don't do Skype or phone calls... I've given a long winded response - sorry - but the point is over time I came to realise my supervisors would not supervise effectively in the way I originally wanted but provided supervision / feedback in the form that suited them and I had to get used to it.

If it's helpful I can tell you I could have completed my PhD without face-to-face supervision but I'm social sciences and close to submitting. I struggled to get feedback but when I eventually did it was via track changes and other face-to-face supervision was light and fluffy (pointless and a waste of time in reality). Just my opinion, but you would need to be clear how your supervisor/s like to give supervision because in my experience they give supervision in a way that suits them.

Many thanks for your very helpful response, RLD1984. All the very best for Australia, I hope it all works out.

======= Date Modified 24 Sep 2011 09:10:37 =======
Apologies as I cannot answer your question but could you please answer mine. How long from start to finish did it take you and your partner to pass all the red tape and paperwork in order to emigrate to Oz?

Could you also recommend any good websites, resources etc. Any help, advice or pointers would be appreciated.(up)