Ah, contribution to knowledge in practice-based research is such a grey area - I've just been writing my prac-based proposal (due to one thing and another I'm hoping to move from theory to practice). Urgh. The AHRC state that "if a film-maker wanted to make a film about refugees, the research question should be about the process of making the film, not about the experience of the refugees. Work that results purely from the creative or professional development of an artist, however distinguished, is unlikely to fulfill the requirements of research". You can think of an amazing idea for a piece of work and then realise but it doesn't answer the 'knowledge and understanding' question. But this ramble doesn't help you.

Is your aim to develop your own practice? Maybe you want to create a new approach to practice, or challenge existing traditions? If you are keeping a reflexive journal is there anything in that could help?

I don't know if you already have, but I would suggest going through the back copies of the Journal of Media Practice (and also the Journal of Visual Art Practice). Despite the media production bias there are some great papers exploring the problems faced by prac-based researchers which are relevant to all disciplines. Articles by Estelle Barrett are also helpful. Ditto "The practical implications of applying a theory of practice based research: a case study' by Scrivener & Chapman. Also check out Uni of Hertfordshire's Research Into Practice Conference Papers, and QUT's SPeculation & INnovation conference papers. Hopefully these might help.

I don't know what to say about your supervisor. It seems very strange. Do you have a good relationship with him/her? Would you be able to discuss why the massive gear change? I know I'm a bit of an idealist but shouldn't the supervisor kept an eye on this, especially as the field is so new. Don't get me started on the lack of specific prac-based research methodology! It's a bit of a concern that you can't access the facilities you need. Couple that with supervisors that aren't specialists in your area then I can fully understand why you are stressed. But I would see if you can get an explanation for their recommendations. I think that's the very least you deserve in light of your conversation with your 1st supervisor.

The NHS has a GP gym referral scheme that allows you to attend your local gym in classes that are only for people that have been referred due to their health. I'm doing this at the moment. I always dismissed the theory that exercise helps depression. Ooh, I hate being wrong! There are some good exercise DVDs on a well known 'South American' *ahem* retailer. They have some are £5 and split into 10 minute segments so that you don't have to do more than you can cope with. Failing that there are some great videos available on YouTube.

Sorry for the ramble. I hope that you can get the help and support you clearly deserve. Please remember, don't let anyone belittle what you've been through and how you now feel. Don't beat yourself up about not getting on with your writing. You will start writing again. It might not be for a few day, weeks or whenever, but you will. And when you do get your PhD the achievement will be all the great for the obstacles you have overcome.

My heart goes out to you. I've have an ongoing fight with depression so I understand some of what you are going through. Especially the way my supervisor treats me when I'm not doing so great. Sometimes she talks to me as she's worried that one wrong word from her and I'm going to disintegrate into dust right infront of her. These are the times when I need to know she supports me, but, perversely, when she is wary about approaching me. This could be the case with your supervisor. Although I have to say his comment about his former student that had cancer was utterly crass, and I am quite willing to travel to wherever your uni is and punch him squarely in the face.

Banned from the campus? What sort of draconian university do you go to?!! I've been on temp withdrawal for 12 months and have never been told this. I would check with the Postgraduate Office. I would also get in touch with your uni's student support department. Under the Disability Discrimination Act (in Britain) depression is considered a disability, and as such any refusal or inability to help a 'disabled' student is unlawful. I'm not saying that your uni is that bad, or that legal action is at all necessary, but I just wanted, in a roundabout way, to show you that they have a responsibility to help you.

I'm sorry, but your therapist sounds like an idiot. Not to talk about the cause of your depression? That's daft! I know I'm sounding a little litigious but you have reason to complain to your Primary Care Trust. If your uni has a counselling service make sure you get to access it. Until you get proper help from your doctor there are a few things that you can do to help - they have helped me. Eating is always a nightmare when you feel depressed but try to eat plenty of dark greens, fish oils (omega 3 v. good), things high in vitamin B, brown rice, nuts. Avoid, as comforting as they are, too many things containing white flour and/or sugar, caffeine etc. Google is your friend here.

You mentioned about the financial side of things and lack of transport. I'm going to assume that you're in Britain and say that the way that your depression is affecting your work and you life you should be able get a Disabled Students Allowance. The perception is that it just for computers and photocopying (which I get for dyslexia and ADHD) but it can also be used to help students with depression. This can be in the form of things like support to help you start writing again, sometimes it can be used for transportation (I know a girl who, because of a problem with her leg, can't walk up the hill to her campus so she is provided with a taxi to take her there and then home). I would urge you to speak to your student support/language and learning department about this. I'm not sure what the forum rules are about posting web addresses, but if you google 'disabled students allowance depression' you will get plenty of info about it, especially from The Student Room and Direct.gov.uk.

I know how you feel too. A friend of mine told me that I would probably go through a "What the hell am I doing here? I want to leave" period but I didn't expect it to happen within the first nine months of my PhD. I agree that looking at what it was that made you want to do your research in the first place. Every so often I would read something, or chat about the subject with someone and I would get a flash of my original excitement for the subject. I am not going to tell you to think about whether a PhD is right for you as I found it very patronising when it was said to me (there was a gap of 6 years between my MA and starting my PhD, plenty of time to make sure it was the right thing for me - did they think I applied on a whim?!).

I have trouble with depression too, and since I've started my PhD here its been quite bad at times. Don't make my mistake of not getting help. I don't necessarily mean meds etc as that is a personal decision. I would strongly suggest that if you have welfare co-ordinator/student liaison within the department to have a word with them. Although my sup does know about my health probs and how they affect my work I feel more comfortable speaking to the co-ordinator as he can listen to my problems and then communicate them to dept, if I want to (this has been useful when it comes to departmental monitoring as the staff assessing the work won't necessarily know that your health is affecting your work). The advantage of them being dept lecturers is that they have an idea about your research area and could suggest a different way of approaching your PhD. I don't know what your area is but what I mean is if it's theory based perhaps practice based would suit you better.

I also get help from student support (I'm also dyslexic). They are good to talk to if you don't want deal with the dept directly. As the name suggests they are there to 'support' you, so it could be worth speaking to them.Actually, having re-read your post it sounds like its the nightmare trudge through the papers that made you feel like this. Student support will be well versed in alternative research approaches for students with dyslexic, Asperger's etc. Perhaps some of these methods may help you. It's amazing how breaking the tasks down into little bits can make it less stressful.

I have no idea if this is any help, but I hope you are able to speak to someone - don't deal with this on your own, and don't beat yourself up about it. I hope it works out for you.

A friend of mine has just finished his MPhil and was set to do his PhD in the same department. His research for the proposal showed that his chosen area was not feasible for that level of research. I'm not sure what led him to changing subjects, but it meant he had to go to another university. As he has no academic background the place was on condition that he completed an MA first. It adds to his time there, but as its important to him then it doesn't matter.

If you can fully explain the reason for your subject change etc (as well as having a good proposal!) then I can't see why they wouldn't accept you. Have you approached someone in the department to discuss the matter. Having someone as a possible supervisor would help your application when it went infront of the panel.