======= Date Modified 05 Jan 2012 20:21:19 =======
In this forum there are so many great examples of mothers who successfully managed to juggle family and PhD, and in some instances a job as well.

I think that it is important to remember that we all have our own way to cope with workloads and stress, and that there are no wonder-women or super-men.

If shirts are not ironed perfectly, or the dinner is not a gourmet dish, is perfectly fine. Working on a doctorate is stressful enough for a person without a family to look after, so we have to accept that some times, some things are going to be less than perfect. It is for a limited period of time - although when you are in the middle of it it does feels like it!

My daughter was born in the middle of my PhD, and I had serious health problems in the following year. My husband was very helpful, but he has a demanding job and he is often abroad on business, and both our families for different reasons couldn't be of help. It was obviously a difficult time, and thinking back, I don't know how I pulled through it, but somehow I did. I am not at all exceptional, and I don't want to give the impression that only exceptional people get through it, because we all have the necessary resources to cope with difficult times.

It is matter of finding the right balance for you, and being very flexible. If someone in the family is unwell, obviously everything is put on hold, etc.
If a deadline is missed it can be upsetting, but the world won't stop. I think that we all face the guilty feeling in a way or another.

One thing that is worth considering though, is that a PhD is not only made of researching and writing up. It is also about networking, presenting your research, publishing, teaching and being part of a department. These are all vital aspects of your PhD that will be important to fit in your PhD time if you want to stay in academia.

Hello Natassia,

I think that everyone battle with self-confidence at some stage in their PhDs, and I was no exception.

I understand your feelings about that e-mail message that you accidentally received, and believe me, these things happen all the time at school and at work, although we might not always be aware of them. Ideally, we would deal with straightforward people, who speak openly and clearly, but the reality is that we often deal with double-faced individuals.

One very unpleasant episode happened to me during the writing-up period, and in spite of all the apologies my confidence was badly shaken. I think that what helped me most was that I was really confident about my findings, and also I had a strong will to prove him - and all the people around that he manage to poison with his blether - wrong (which I did).

So, I would suggest you not to focus on your supervisors, but on your thesis, and what you can do with it. If I managed, so can you!

My introduction was 5000 words, and I covered: 1) History; 2) Historiography and Review of Literature; 3) Methodology, Aims and Research Questions; 4) Thesis outline.

I was in the Humanities, so the nature and length of what you cover may be substantially different in your field. 

You know your material better than anyone else, so it's just matter of presenting it in the best possible way. Also, if they are unhappy with what you have written so far, they should give you a detailed list of any areas that need to be improved and how to do it.

Best of luck with your writing up!

CC

Happy Christmas Dunni and all PhDs in the forum!

Indeed I was in the same position as you last year - actually I had my final draft ready at the end of January, so it was a working Christmas!

You will all get there - just stick to your guns!

Best wishes for a fulfilling 2012 everyone (tree)(gift)(snowman)(mince)

======= Date Modified 19 Dec 2011 14:18:49 =======
Dear Ardelia,

I am so sorry that you are going through such a difficult time. I know that type of person quite well. My first supervisor was like that.
My only advantage was that he left after a year, and although the replacement wasn't much better (and he stayed on board as 2nd supervisor), I managed to get through the rest of the PhD relatively out of his influence.

But he did his best with my Masters thesis (I got a distinction for it, by the way). He gave me his corrections two days before the deadline, when he knew that the bindery would take four days to bind the thesis. I ended up paying double the price to get it done in half/ time.

There is little advice here, because any tactic you will use may be turned against you. In my modest opinion, if there is any major problem with your thesis you certainly won't manage to amend it in a week. So, I would be relaxed about it. She would have said something long ago if this was the case.

It is also possible that she is in good faith, and that she is just unsure because she doesn't have much knowledge in your area.

I can only advise you to take a deep breath and think that this is all going to be over soon!!

Good luck with it all!

(mince)

======= Date Modified 13 Dec 2011 09:47:07 =======
Hello Ady,

First of all you should think that your thesis is going to speak for you. Unless you are going to make a complete fool of yourself at the viva - which is unlikely - you will be fine.

The suggestion about using post-its is excellent.

I summarised the main points of each chapters and thought about possible issues that might have been picked by the examiners, but none of these came up. I couldn't have thought about their questions even if I had spent night and day thinking about them, but the point is: you are able to handle them, because you know your research.

The only slightly awkward (but perhaps this is not the right word) thing was that the examiners didn't really leave much time to think about the answers. They were clearly keen to go through as many points as possible in the two hours.

So, be prepared to think quickly. Practice with your supervisor, if he is available, otherwise friends/ colleagues etc. will do.

You will do a great job, but I know that waiting for it is nerve-wrecking. Anyway, good luck (but you won't need it!)

  (up)

Hi Cornflower,

I understand your state of mind. 

I think that Pjlu is correct about volunteering on Christmas day. But you can check with your local church, hospitals, children hospitals, and see if they need an extra pair of hands.

I am pretty sure that many people do not live an idyllic Christmas, so sometimes is just enough to look around to find someone who needs company or help. If you are in the position to invite people to your place, inviting a few international students from your Uni is excellent.

You can also check with your local council if there is anything you can help with.

Lastly, it is important that you think about yourself and do something you are happy about.



(tree)

Hi Ady,

Pink-Numbers is right. No reason for concern. These things happen all the time. I just noticed that in one chapter one of the footnotes is double-spaced. How could I submit it without noticing this?

After I submitted the soft-bound copy I noticed that I wrote the date of 1475 on the caption of a photograph, when in the main text it was 1425. When I saw it I was devastated - I couldn't believe that I didn't notice it earlier!

But no one saw it, and I changed it prior to the submission of the hard-bound copy. I think that it is pretty normal not to see the wood for the trees when you work on something for a long time!

Yes, absolutely. What you are not including in your draft now is not wasted. It may be included in a later draft, or published in an article or book in the future.

I had developed some very good points that weren't strictly relevant for the core argument in my thesis, and it was really annoying to cut them out. But that material will be published shortly, so it's defenitely not wasted.

I don't know at what stage you are in your PhD, but personally my thesis was work in progress until I put the word "end" a week before submission.

I think that I understand what you mean. I come from a country where word counts are not an issue - actually, the more the better - whereas, here in the UK it seems to be a big issue. Our HoD wouldn't even read an essay that was 100 words over!

It is a fine line between making sure that you include enough background information and giving away too many details. I think that generally supervisors want to see if you are capable of striking that balance, thus of focussing on the core ideas and issues without getting lost in the argument.

I found it very difficult at the beginning, but I then realised that the quality of your piece has little to do with its length. Actually, often quite the opposite.

Fantastic news Dr Delta!

This is the best Christmas present ever! Well done! You must be very proud.

And, as far as your considerations on the viva are concerned - I subscribed entirely - my personal experience was very much the same.

(gift)(mince)(tree)(mince)(gift)

Well said Lughna!

Hello Dcmtr,

Are you sure that you submitted your proposal by the deadline? Deadlines for submission of abstracts are usually several months before a conference.
It is a bit strange that they accepted papers just a week before the conference. If it was a postgraduate conference, it might just be that the organisers weren't very experienced.

Generally deadlines for submissions should be clearly stated in the call for papers, and no proposal is accepted after that. Depending on the scale of the conference the acceptance (or rejection) message may be sent to the applicants after a few weeks or a couple of months, but also this is generally stated in the call for papers.

But if this conference was just poorly organised it might be better not to take part in it!

Good luck for your next submission!

Hello CamX,

First of all well done for submitting and good luck with your forthcoming viva.

I understand your anxiety, as I am not a native speaker myself. I think that the issue of foreign students and language skills has been the object of debate somewhere else in the forum. You can probably still trace the thread.

I think that there are several ways to improve your oral skills, although I understand that you are now very close to the viva.

Firstly, you wrote a thesis and thus you certainly built up your knowledge of the language and the use of academic jargon. I suppose that your supervisor/s and or other academics had the opportunity to read it and provide you with feedback on this.

You read a huge amount of relevant literature, and surely at least a part of this was in English - and thus all this feeds into language learning, even if you didn't realise it.

Did you have any chance to present papers at seminars or conferences? If so, this is an excellent way to practice. If not, do take any chance to speak about your research with colleagues or friends now. Do you have the chance to organise a mock viva? You don't say if you are going to travel back to the UK for the exam or if you will be using skype. In any case, you can ask your supervisor to help you with this.

Last, but not least: Is there a Language Centre at your university or where are you know? It worth checking if there are any opportunities for practice there.

Hi Chococake,

Obviously it all depends on the kind of relationship that you have with your supervisor/s. However, taking for granted that you are in very good terms with them I would say:

1) A box of chocolate or a bottle of wine
2) nothing
3)nothing. It is more appropriate to buy a present for the little one when he/she arrives
4) I feel that you should be the one that receives the present after the viva, but if your supervisor was very helpful I understand that you might want to give her/him a present. It might be a plant, a bottle of wine, a collection of CDs, a book, a subscription to a magazine.
5)  Any of the items suggested in point 4.

I wish I had such supervisor! :$

Hi Rachel,

I was funded by the AHRC and I had a paid maternity leave for 9 months. At that time the AHRC handled the money and I had to apply to them to get it. Now it's a bit different, because universities handle the lump sum they bid for and decide what to do with it.

Beware that if you get the ML paid for by your research council, you might be considered registered as full time student in that period (I was), and thus it will count as working time even if you shouldn't be working!

Anyway, good luck with it!

C.