Yeah, I'd have absolutely no problem answering the door to the postman in my sleepsuits, I think they're quite cosy and sweet looking - I have one in black and white leopard print and one with purple and pink stars on it.

Sneaks, you could do some decorating - I'm boiling and I've got the window open. Or what about your cycle machine thingy? They say 20 mins of that warms you up for ages.

Hi folks, yeah, it has been a pretty odd friendship and I dont miss it; it was mostly based on humour, but I have other friends for that, I find her a bit intense and paranoid. She seems to think I am doomed because I have been to a medium and wouldn't speak to my dying sister about baptism. She's become a big rampant Christian since London and I'm finding she seems to be looking down her nose at me quite a lot, like I need to be saved, I think that's what the letter was about. I have many other friends who are more mature, and who have been around for much, much longer than 5 years.

I just sent her an email saying I find it odd that she thinks she can just breeze back in after ending the friendship and that I'd gone through the process of laying it to rest - all true I did, and it was quite painful to be rejected, so, basically I can't be arsed any more, only in a polite way.

Thank you for your astute advice, have some presents: (gift)(gift)(gift)(gift)

Oh dear, I must get on with painting my living room! I promised myself I'd get it all done by tonight.

======= Date Modified 27 34 2010 14:34:09 =======
Yes, it's me again, with another dilema...


It's about this girl I was friends with for about 5 years. We were neighbours in London and saw quite a bit of each other during my last year there. We both moved to dfferent places but stayed in touch and I went ot see her quite a lot, although she said he didn't like cities so only came to see me once. We're quite different people, but always had fun and, I thought we respected eachother, complete with differences. However, during one telephone conversation I got quite upset because my friend told me didn't like the way I corrected my niece's mis-use of a semi-colon in a verbally abusive email she'd sent me. My friend thought I was only inviting more attack and aggrivation, which made me feel judged and unsupported, when I was getting quite enough of that from the family at the time, so I didn't reply to a few of her messages afterwards, probably for about 3 months.

Then I got a letter in the post from her telling me she thought I should stay silent and not respond when my family are hurtful and that I need to learn not to argue with people for my own good, she didn't put her address on the letter, so I emailed her asking for it and then rang her that night. During the phone call she said she was terrified of me, that she was in my home town visiting someone else and distraught thinking that she might bump into me and I'd correct her semi-colon use (yes, I know, hilarious), and that she left the address off the letter because she knew I would want to respond. She kept saying, why do you want to speak about the letter? what is your motivation? If you didn't like it just ignore it, as if it's just wrong to want to deal with things. I suggested that given our differnet communication styles we should continue the friendship on another, lighter level, not discussing serious stuff, but she said she couldn't possibly do that, and it was all or nothing for her, plus we'd argued and for her that meant the end of a friendship, so that was it, full stop, we could no longer be friends on any level. I have never been rejected so abruptly before, and it took me a while to get over that rejected feeling. My friendships usually change over the years, getting more distant and closer as both parties go through different stages in life, but I've never had a big full stop like that before.

This was about 6 months ago, and last night I got a bloomin' text message from her saying 'I miss you XXX have you been watching X Factor XX Let's catch up soon X' ???? WHHAAT?


Sorry to be on about this here, I probably have to much time on my hands after my chap 1/2 is finished.

yeah sneaks, you can do that, or at least I can. Sometimes there is a central radiotor through which all the hot water must flow, and this one has to be on too - mine's in the bathroom.

Or you could make baked potatoes or roast chicken for dinner and sit in the kitchen.

======= Date Modified 27 Sep 2010 12:10:28 =======
======= Date Modified 27 Sep 2010 12:09:48 =======
Hiya, I feel the same way about putting the heating, I'm trying not to until November, although I'm not sure how realistic this is.

Primark are doing fleecey sleep suits for £8, rather like the ones they make for babies - all in one with feet and a big zip up the front. I got two and find they keep me very warm and are loose enough to pop over a normal outfit - also have a fleecy thermal blanket, but I can't see myself working with this round me as it feel too much like going to bed etc. I know Primark is skanky, and I do feel a bit guilty about buying from there; when I have money I'll buy from decent places.

Those silver thermal blankets look good - I'd really like a tin foil sleep-suit with a hood on it, that'd keep me warm I bet. And it would groovy and space-like so I could feel at one with Bowie. I may try to make one by cutting a pattern from the Primark thingy. I think the silver blankets are really cheap.

Well! you learn something new everyday. And I thought I'd be having a rest from expanding my knowledge this weekend...

That's really interesting Slizor - I think I've had that for about a year now... Ever since my PhD process has really kicked in and I've been really developing my confidence has taken a nose dive. I've become aware of everything I have to learn, in terms of both knowledge and skill. I can see all these gaps in my abilities that I couldn't see before so I have been far, far les confident about my research as it is now (although I know it's a great project with loads of potential and it WILL be really good when finished). I think this is part of the process we are going through.

Hey Milly-cat, I can't believe you have people dissing research into palliative care! REALLY! silly, silly people. We will ALL die one day, that is the nature of life, so it's the one thing you can safely say we will benefit from.

Palliative care makes a massive difference to those left behind too. I see the anniversary of my sister's death as a good day, with good memories. It was the last time we saw eachother, we were in a wonderful Marie Curie hospice, she had a gin and tonic for breakfast and we watched Take That on video together, her eyes were shining and she was happy. It could have been so, so much worse. My friend virtually has a breakdown on the anniversary of her mum's death, she was in a dirty, busy hospital with no proper pain relief. THANK god and palliative care that that never happened to us.

Yeah, and I hate it when people say 'how long does it have to be?', and then 'how much have you done?' I never answer, just say it isn't like that.

Oh god, I'm so glad I don't have flatmates and their encumberents any longer. She is extremely rude to have said those things to you in your own home, and I'm suprised your flatmate didn't tick her off about that, as her guest she should have been better behaved. She sounds jealous to me, teaching can be really demoralising, especially if she's not in a good school and isn't very astute about people or resourceful - and it sounds, from what you say, as if she isn't. I wouldn't socialise with her again, she sounds limited and narrow minded, or perhaps you could do a similar speech about how she must be jealous of you with your oppportunity to be stimulated, have a brilliant academic career with loads of travel, and because you are teaching undergrads and not stroppy, nasty kids all day.

It's so frustrating when you don't say stuff at the time; I find it tends to burn in my brain for ages afterwards. Sometimes I pretend the person is stting on a chair in front of me and really let rip at them - but you'll need the place to yourself for that.

Thanks for all your responses. I had another look at it, and it's not perfect, but I still rather chuffed with myself. It looks like a proper piece of writing with something to say.


This is quality, if anyone fancies half an hour of top flight procrastination:


http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMzU1MzM5OTI=.html

Hi all, I've just finished the chapter 1/2 I've been working on forever - it's now 7,000 words. And I think it's... brilliant! ha, ha there I said it. I felt ecstatic last night, and for some reason really wanted to see my nan and tell her - she died about ten years ago though. But I'm soooo please with myself right now.

I know when I look at it again it won't seem as good, but I just wanted to share this feeling, for all those who fear there is no joy in PhDing - and just to tell you all!!

Hi Coltar, if it's any consolation, I've always studied at to the top departments for my subject and have a mega supervisor, but I still feel like an imposter sometimes. It used to be really bad and I'd feel like that most of the time, but the feeling is subsiding as my PhD progresses. I think many people do; there is an entire industry (kind of!) built around the phenomenon, it's called imposter syndrome.

As for your MA, that's super crappy, but please don't let it put you off - we all have obstacles. I've had to overcome stuff that's taken years off my completion date, but he mark of a successful PhD candidate is often tenacity, so keep at it X

======= Date Modified 24 Sep 2010 15:42:57 =======
Hi everyone, thanks for the replies, I guess it just goes with the territory of knowing a subject at a high level and being a teacher... I spoke to my artists friend last night and she wa taught by the horse manure man a lng time ago, apparently he's famous for it. So I've decided to keep going as long as I can and attempt to block out the drivel while enjoying drawing the models, who are very good.

Catalin, the idea of being driven to want to beat a yoga instructor round the head with a yoga matt during a lesson made me roar with laughter. I have acquired a Robin and don't know why. hmmm.

(robin)

Hi KB, yes, I too am sorry to hear you are having a difficult time. It took me a while to reply because I wasn't sure what to say and I wanted to think about it properly, I have a deadline today, so not much spare head space.

I think this could be a case of the roller-coaster ride getting to you etc. In my experience, when people blow hot and cold I become very suspiscious of everything they do.

However, my supervisor's written comments are always pretty brutal, although there is sometimes a bit of written praise and he praises me and is much nicer in person. Her narky comments might just be because she did it so quickly, I know that the more essays I have to mark and the less time to do it the less nice I become - it just comes out like that when I'm working under a lot of pressure, certainly nothing personal. Perhaps the abruptness of her notes is due to the haste in which she made them?