Hi all, a bit of a negative post here, I'm afraid.

I've had a real crisis of confidence lately, especially when presenting my work - I seem to be getting less confident about public speaking, and not more. It used to be a breeze for me!

I know, rationally, that my work is good, but I just get this overwhelming feeling like 'I can't do this, I dont even know what this is' when I stand up to present. It happened at a postgrad symposium I presented at recently and I couldn't even read the words on my paper to script read, so had to leave the room to re-group. I then returned and gave a stunted version of what tthe paper should have been, part 'off the cuff' and part read from my print out, when I could get a purchas on the words.

This is a good paper, I've given it before, and it was well recieved and I was fine, but soething about being in the department, being 'assessed' by the staff and being put up amongst my direct peers just made me cave in. I also find the other students quite cold. There is a clique of them who are very close knit, who are full time and have various kinds of funding, and they just make me feel like an outsider, like I shouldn't really be there. They don't say hello, even though we've chatted a few times, and I just feel really out of it, as if I don't fit in. It's an extrordinarily prestigeous department too and perhaps part of me feels I don't really belong there, I'm much more comfortable and confident at the ex-poly's I teach in. The standard of some of the final year stuent's work is astounding, and it feels really hard to follow that.

My research and writing have also moved on since I last gave the paper, so I wasn't feeling great about it anyway.

I know I will get over this, it's probably part of the transition to becoming a hard-nosed tough old academic. I'd just like to make a friend in the department, I suppose. Another student who is friendly etc.

I've been watching BGT. I think Spellbound had to win, although I love that kid with the drums, and the vampire dancer bloke. I don't really get twist and pulse though.

======= Date Modified 05 Jun 2010 10:08:09 =======
M&S foodhall have a fab range of world cup tat: little world cup cakes, altough I think they missed an oppurtunity to produce 'world cup-cakes', how fab would they be?

I won't watch though, because I just don't get football, although I may purchase some M&S goodies.

Oh dear, I'm going to a student one, maybe I'll be overdressed...

Students wear smart casual for our department seminars tho, so maybe not. Too late now as I am already at my destination, a long way from my wardrobe, and I don't think the sundress I'm wearing today will go down too well.

Am now having a bit of a flap about the paper, thinking that it's not written the way I'd so it now, but hey ho, I'm here now so apart from a bit of tweaking, that's that.

I guess it also depends on what people feel comfortable and confident in. I've opted fr the smartish trousers, and the final deciding factor is that I want to feel different to the way I do when I am slobbing around the house etc.

I'd really like to wear my denim skirt on Friday, maybe I will take the leap and do it! Swap the white trousers for it. I do see loads of people in jeans at conferences.

very creepy, bug, glad you are here and ok. I thinkk there are a few dodgy black cab drivers around. I had one who locked me in the cabon the way back from my Crimb night out with the girls last year, after being obnoxious and rude, and threatening to throw me out in the street about a mile from home in the worst of the ice. He only unlocked it when I started dialling on my mobile in a meaningful manner. Scary. I get private hires now, at least there is a record, with the company, that you got into the cab etc, so they're more accountable. That's what the police advised me.

======= Date Modified 02 Jun 2010 22:31:23 =======
Hi Natassia, that's a good suggestion, about the t-shirt style top, but I want the shirt to cover my bottom, which is quite generous, and I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable if it were swathed in only white! But I will scout about my things and see what I can find. I think about outfits quite a lot! Sad eh, I've put about as much into my clothes as I have into academic prep this time: I've given the paper before.

What do people think about linen? I'm thinking I may wear loose white linen trousers with a mole (v-pale chocolate colour) linen man style blouse, not tucked in, with my braided brown leather belt on the waist, and a pink and torquoise necklace, or some other complimentary accesory. I think I will be carrying a very large soft suede cross over bag in moss green and I have these soft mole coloured suede semi - gladiator style sandals. Only thing is, the linen will crease, which I don't mind at all, but it may make look a bit smart holiday, rather than smartish work?

I'm just thinking the same thing, I'm presenting at a symposium on Friday, and am trying to plan out the rght outfit. I want something that feels nice in the good weather, but which is smart, but not too smart! I have the right shoes, but need to build up from there. I'll keep watching this thread for responses. I guess a lot depends on the discipline, I've seen people wearing jeans and t-shirt, but I'd feel to casual in that, I like to feel I've dressed for something a bit more special. hhmmmm...

I'm a northwesterner, and where I live, and am from, mature women (and men, I guess) do it. I suppose I'm entering that bracket! My friends and I sometimes call each other 'queen', like 'all right queen' or 'eiiieeeah queen', it's, traditionally, what proper grown up women do in the city where I live, so we started that almost as a joke when approaching middle age.

I really like it when people call me love, in the right context. I'm not sure how I'd feel if my sup did it...

ok folks, not sure what is causing this, but I have recently started calling people 'love', and one night a few weeks ago, after a considerable amount of Peroni lager, I called a sweet barman who had been helping us by taking group photos of me and my posse, and had got very friendly with us, 'darling'. What is happeing to me??? I do this with people who are much younger than me, they bring out this maternal thing and I end up saying 'love' (and, yes, for that excruciatingly embarassing late night moment, 'darling'???).

One of my friends says she hates it when people she doesn't know do this, friends etc yes in that case it's a term of endearment, but strangers? She says she is not their 'love', and finds it intrusive. Am I causing offence by using 'love' tot he lovely young ladies who work in tescos etc? Or is it ok?

I agree Sneaks, he comes across as such an old fuddy duddy and really boring, I much prefer Cary Grant: the original and the best, in my book. Sorry to any Clooney fanciers, including Jepsonclough - I've had family members become deeply offended by Clooney views.

Yeah, give us a star andrew, don't be a meanie!

Yep, he's only 8 years older than me too, but I can remember 49 seeming 'really old' when I was in my mid 20s - I'm sure mid 20s will seem 'really young' to me by then too. 21/22 seems like that to me already... And now I think 54 and under is quite young! I guess it depends who is looking, and from where they are looking.