...was eating away...

and ALL of a sudden--

the VC DEMANDED some rhubarb crumble, else he'd let the pig loose, and our heroe's reputation would be demolished

So the professor filled one of his woolly socks with rhubarb crumble and ...

the hero laughed, and said "No".....

..."you forgot the custard, Prof " ...

"Run to the cornershop and get me some more then my young padouin" said the.....

ship's captain we're sailing at 9 o' the seagull, so make it snappy. We haven't a second to lose...

But then disaster struck: the seagull ate the rhubarb crumble and the cornershop had run out of custard.

...our hero risked losing his studentship unless...

Tescos opened at 8am ona weekday, AND they had some rhubarb crumble, along with the trusty tesco value custard he knew he could rely on.

Tesco was open and had all he needed, but as our hero queued to pay, David Cameron was in front of him with 5 trolleys full of …

fake tan and botox, he'd come into tescos to show he was a 'common man' but was itching to get back to..

Waitrose for some olives