Hey insommniac, how are things going this week? Dx

Thanks for asking D - I've done a few proactive things actually and am beginning to feel better, especially today when the sun came out. After 3 days in bed (eating biscuits and watching telly) I felt worse than ever. Poured all alcohol down the drain (I know!) and went to dig my allotment. After that I sat down and got my teeth into some work for the first time in a couple of weeks. I feel alive again though (am considering a letter to the doctor's practice manager however - she never did call me back as promised).

Really, I was very shaken up last week and posted on impulse. All the replies though... I can't tell you how much you all helped.X

Hi Insomniac, really sorry you're having a struggle right now, BUT, it's really positive that you recognise your behavioral patterns and want to do something.

It sounds at the moment that your GP is not going about the consultations the right way with you. Is there another doctor at the practice who you know you could also see? It's really important that you have a good relationship with your primary care provider as this will be your point of call should you ever have a crisis point - although we on this board will do our best not to let that happen!

I struggled with depression and anxiety for 3 years of my PhD. I've finished now but it doesn't magically disappear and you need to have some strategies in place for managing your polarised episodes. Perhaps you could enquire with the reception staff at your practice if any of the GPs there have a specialist interest in mental health?
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While I understand your reticence at taking medication, I would strongly recommend it, it will get you out of the pattern of srutinising yourself in trepidation and help you to think more logically.

Here are some other resources that you may find useful...
http://www.mind.org.uk/
http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/

They offer help and advice, and are fantastic resources.

Please keep us posted, and thank you for sharing your difficulties. It's a very courageous thing to do, especially online.
All the best,
Kronkodile

I don't know about courageous, K, maybe desperate... and, as you know, mood changes can make you behave in all sorts of unpredictable ways - believe it or not, I'm actually a very private gal with VERY few friends. Having an anonymous persona has enabled me (and lots of others) to 'voice' things we would otherwise never be able to say. If there are any spectacular events I'm sure I'll be back on to share; currently feels like tense calm before/after the storm x