Awkward situation with team-mate!

D

Quote From Dispatchers_Sup:

I understand What Gordon said yesterday was unfair, but in your case that would have been a 100% Truth.[/quote]

Gareth - what are you doing being naughty on internet forums again? You haven't finished colouring in the picture of the conical flask I ask you to do and you haven't fed the lab rats - again! You'll never get your phd at this rate. Carry on like this and I won't be letting you play on the internet. Now go stand in the corner and face the wall.
[/quote]



LOL Thats the Spirit. That really made me laugh so hard boy.8-) LMFAO My Supervisor was always nice to me and even invited me for dinner/lunch. Its so sadening that we have to deal with Academic Politics that destroys Relationships.

K

And now if I understand you correctly, you are contradicting yourself. Oh, and name-calling. I am of course willing to take different opinions and advice into account- that is why I posted- but yours has been based on incorrect assumptions and a reluctance to consider the fact that your assumptions are incorrect. I have tried to explain myself as clearly as I can and everybody else on the forum appears to have got a good grasp of the situation. I am not sure why you are having such difficulty in interpreting what I have said correctly, or why you feel the need to be so unpleasant to other members of the forum and then claim that the reverse is true, but the forum is here for people to be supportive of each other, not to tear strips off each other and resort to petty arguments, finger pointing and name-calling. I thank everyone again for advice and support but suggest that we just abandon this thread before it descends into even more unwanted exchanges of insults etc with a certain poster. Cheers guys, KB

B

Quote From Dispatcher:

@BennyHill Do not try to Gang Up and Repeat My Mistake that Others had already Pointed out That Would Portray You As A Bully.
@KeenBean That is No Way an Insult To Anyone But A Disease in Society Needed 2Be Cured. It is ur choice which way you take it.


Dispatcher, stop using text speak, it's stupid. Or, are you not able to spell the words that you are replacing with single characters...

D

@Bennyhill Comeon Ben I can Spell be.
@keenBean I think You Also have Problems with temper etc. Try Kalms PhD_Smug n Wally Can help you.

K

======= Date Modified 29 Apr 2010 17:47:12 =======

Quote From Dispatcher:

@keenBean I think You Also have Problems with temper etc. Try Kalms PhD_Smug n Wally Can help you.


Oh look, another assumption based on absolutely nothing. I can assure you I am the most mild-mannered, patient, tolerant person you could ever wish to meet. There is a big difference by being mildly irritated and losing my temper. I lose my temper extremely rarely, if ever. However I think you are the cause of irritation for a number of people on the forum today. Just have a look at the evidence.

S

hi Keenbean
wow! I was only gone all day since I saw your thread!
so many posts now!
:-p
did you have a good day today :-)
satchi

S

satchi again :-) :-)
I had a very good day today!
it must be the same for you too--and everybody!

did you see your friend today :-)
love satchi

J

KB, think back to when you were are school - do you remember the person who always wanted their own way, and used to sulk big time if they didn't get it? (including running out of the room, slamming doors etc)This person is just a grown up (ish) version of that child. The situation is very silly, and as far as i can see you have some options. Stop being so nice to them - which is quite difficult if you are an inherently nice person, which you must be or you wouldn't be suffering angst about this person's feelings. Ignore him, which is obviously not an option if you have to work with this person. Present this person with the facts, you have to work together, to do this you have to communicate, and therefore you have to be grown up about the problem, sulking is not an option, write a list of things you will have to talk to each other about and ask what they intend to do about it. If they refuse to do this, tell them to go to the supervisor and sort it out and then let you know what the plan is. Put the ball in their court, tell them that you are prepared to work with them, and if they are not prepared to work with you then they need to sort something out, tell them to start being professional and stop behaving like a child. if nothing happens, tell the supervisor what you have done to try to sort the problem out, that you don't want it to affect your work, and take up their offer to try to sort out the problem. Time is too short for you to have to do this, you have done your best, now let someone else have a go - and don't worry about it, get on with what you have to do and let this person sort it out for themselves.

P

Oh wow!! I am sitting in the middle of a german village with nothing around me but woody hills and a magnolia tree in full bloom and reading this thread!!

KB - the guy's being stupid. Feel flattered and then try to ignore such childish behaviour. If i must say this, I was recently turned down by guy on whom I had a crush. Since two hours after then I made a conscious attempot to get things back to normal and we are now doing 500 collaborative things and being good friends! It wasnt even 120 minutes of unprofessioanlism or discomfort!

I think there might be two things about a certain poster:

1. They might be familiar with the name Cleverclogs. or
2. We need to have a forum troll from time to time.

:-) Ignore!!

Bug

C

Hey KB, I agree with the earlier posts. I heard a similar situation to yours, I guess it's quite common. You're definitely not to blame as you've done nothing wrong and like you said, he's completely unprofessional. If he acts that way when you're working together, you need to speak to your supervisor about him. Don't feel guilty or hesitate about doing that, at the end of the day it's your PhD and you shouldn't let anything like this get in the way.

Hopefully things will work out :-)

CB x

V

======= Date Modified 29 Apr 2010 21:55:13 =======
You're too sympathetic towards this bastard, he doesn't deserve any of it. No offence, but he sees you as a weak character and is taking advantage of this. For starters you should have agreed for your supervisor to have a word with him. Now it's become so bad you need to complain. He's clearly a complete weirdo and a pervert and only sees women as good for one thing and was probably friendly to you in the beginning just for that purpose. You should record everything he does and says in your compliant and insist the situation changes before you are prepared to continue with your work. You shouldn't let this weirdo get away with trying to destroy you for being a woman (this wouldn't have happened if you were a man).

S

Hi KB,

I haven't read all the posts but just wanted to say sorry you are having to deal with this guy's behaviour. I think you are being really kind by not wanting to get him into trouble. His behaviour is completely inappropriate. He sounds as though he is behaving like a little kid having a tantrum. If I were you I wouldn't hesitate to talk to your supervisor if he continues in this way, it really is not on.

Good luck

K

Thanks guys for all of your wise words. I think you are right after all- I have been so concerned about causing a fuss and not getting him into shit that maybe I have been too nice and should just not put up with it any longer. Any more of it and I shall speak to my sup and have it over and done with. I think I've been so caught up in the middle of it that I've lost a bit of perspective on the situation so it's good to hear your views on it. Thanks Satchi, I did have a good day yesterday aside from being mildly irritated from our fave person's posts! And verypoor- I think you are right, he probably is taking advantage of my too-good nature, although I don't think many people would call me a weak character! But I do take your point! Cheers all! Best, KB

D

Quote From keenbean:

Thanks Satchi, I did have a good day yesterday aside from being mildly irritated from our fave person's posts! And verypoor- I think you are right, he probably is taking advantage of my too-good nature, although I don't think many people would call me a weak character! But I do take your point! Cheers all! Best, KB



Dear KeenBean: This is my last post here that would relate you. I was a bit horrible in my posts yesterday but that was only to seek out your true colors in case any one differs with your opinion. You are of course a horrible, bigoted and disrespectful lady without remorse.
You can sometime nasty as well as you have been in your latest attempt up there. You have an ability to draw large crowd in your favor and bully someone who you differ in opinion. I could not be lured with your useless yelling to draw attention in this forum as you have done in your studies. That is 1 bloke against 16/17 woman trying to survive. Your attempts to enslave him will never be accomplished because some of us are very proud and will find an alternative but never give up. Look at you you don;t even qualify to call someone poor physically or mentally. All you got here is a satisfaction by getting that guy abused by all kinds of folks...look at your replies...you are a pathetic woman.

K

======= Date Modified 30 Apr 2010 13:31:00 =======

Quote From Dispatcher:

Dear KeenBean: This is my last post here that would relate you. I was a bit horrible in my posts yesterday but that was only to seek out your true colors in case any one differs with your opinion. You are of course a horrible, bigoted and disrespectful lady without remorse.
You can sometime nasty as well as you have been in your latest attempt up there. You have an ability to draw large crowd in your favor and bully someone who you differ in opinion. I could not be lured with your useless yelling to draw attention in this forum as you have done in your studies. That is 1 bloke against 16/17 woman trying to survive. Your attempts to enslave him will never be accomplished because some of us are very proud and will find an alternative but never give up. Look at you you don;t even qualify to call someone poor physically or mentally. All you got here is a satisfaction by getting that guy abused by all kinds of folks...look at your replies...you are a pathetic woman.


Haha Dispatcher, well as is apparently normal for you, you have drawn a lot of conclusions about me which have absolutely no basis (horrlible, disrespectful, nasty, bigoted, bullying, pathetic). I have not forced anybody to agree with me, and nor have I bullied anyone. You will see that everybody else has been incredibly supportive of me and the way in which I have tried to deal with the situation, and I have been grateful for their support. You have let it get very personal, for reasons unknown to me, and you clearly feel the need to insult me, but you know absolutely nothing about me and I know that not a single person who knows me would agree with any of your conclusions. Anybody who feels the need to be so aggressive on here clearly has issues of their own to sort out. I think that actually you could apply most of these adjectives to yourself if you looked at yourself closely enough. You have offended many people on here with your responses- just look back at the posts- you will see that nobody else is remotely supportive of what you are saying about me and that speaks for itself. I am not bothered by what you say- I have an amazing network of friends, family, and I enjoy working with people and my lifelong ambition is to help people, and it always has been. I have absolutely no doubts that people see me as a kind, caring, selfless person who is very easy to get along with and who makes a very loyal friend. Take a long hard look at yourself- I think you will find that you are the one who needs to make some changes. I don't know what is behind your nastiness, but you clearly have some issues. I suggest we don't continue to exchange messages on here, because the tone of your messages is very unpleasant and quite frankly I have no time for you. I have never ever encountered such unjustified nastiness in my life from anybody. All the best in your studies, KB


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