This Sun., a social thing has been arranged. I thought about the Fri., too, but that might be overkill. One of my friends claims some distance can be a good thing, makes them wonder where you are etc. I'm trying to get out of the mindset of finding it weird to text a lec., especially as I know her in the capacity of going-out-and-getting-drunk on Fridays.

I think guys handle this differently than girls.. being straightforward is quite "mannly". good luck anyway!

any updates?

Not really. Seen her yest., but it was a large group (friends birthday party), so getting into a vaguely personal conversation was out of the question. I did notice she never spoke to me until I approached her - friend has commented that it seems less about the gay/straight issue as there seems to be something there, and I am not building castles in the air, but more about her awareness of her position.

Aaaaaarrrrghhhhh.

Will her position really be a barrier? Is there actually a policy in place regarding these things?

Apologies if you've already explained this, I can't remember.

No, in reality, it's unlikely to be a problem, but I think in her mind, she thinks it is more of a problem than it really is. The same friend suggested what would help is if I explained to her that it wouldn't be, but that sounds quite mad, as presupposes I want something - which I do, but not a r/ship, I'd just like to get to know her, find out more, and not drift away from one another leaving this unacknowledged.

do you girls share any hobby? it might break the ice if you can do something fun together..

Well, we did get talking about random things, er., t.v. programmes, psychology, and as I have her number, thought I could text about one of them when it's on tomorrow, just a "Hi, recalled we were chatting about this, have a watch, what do you think" - even something fairly innocuous can develop into a conversation. As she had no objections to giving her number, I assume a text is o.k.

As have come to realize that in a group, nobody is going to want to make a move, especially as there is another staff-member that also socializes with us (one who ironically, doesn't have a problem with staff-student things), and there would be too much potential for gossip. However, since group-things are the only context in which we see one another in a more relaxed environment.

I also think I have foot-in-mouth syndrome, as I'm known for saying tactless things, but hope she knows I'm well-intentioned. Guess my situation is the same old story of wondering whether x likes me. We've all been there, done that.

hehe, sometimes, the "x" may be wondering if she likes you herself too.. it is kind of hide-and-seek game; the only thing is that you may not know where you are now as well. I am going through this right now, but luckily not one from my work. i think the good strategy is to take it slowly and first become friends..

Sounds eminently sensible Tom.

I was puzzling over how somebody so gregarious with others in our social group has been acting off-hand with me the past two weeks, until it dawned on me she might be thinking the same about me. Question is how long can this go on, as don't want to get to the summer vacation with questions, and an enforced three month break. I do think texting now must be acceptable, as we swapped numbers after all.

interesting. and I assume you girls don't come from the same place, so will be apart during the vacation.. sometimes I hope things can be more straightforward, so not to get myself wondering over in the night.. well, it is fun on the other hand.

Well, we'll be in the same place, but social opportunities will be lessened considerably, which is why I need to take the initiative at some point. It will be by text (can't use phone for other reasons, and anyway, text is least likely to give me a panic attack), which I can't see anything wrong with. I have noticed that the few times we have been on our own, she's been very different, whereas in a group, she seems to have her official hat on, or at least, is very conscious of her behaviour.

why not phone?.. I only use text for non-important people. and if you want to invite someone to hang out, it literally SOUNDS better..

Tom: if you want to carry on the chat, have you an off-board e-mail. I'd be interested to hear your situation. I really don't want to post too much more, as identifying details and all of that.