*crossed wires*

Urm...that's a kind offer but...I'm actually a guy. I am rather effete though in my writing style - tis' an easy mistake to make so no need to be embarrased. lol

pea - I know exactly what you mean about waiting for tradesmen. My partner has a "real" job and works long hours in the city, so any time we had tradesmen come (service the aircon, fix the phoneline etc.) it was a foregone conclusion that I would be the one who would go home to meet them. I wonder how couples cope when they both work and neither can just nick home any time of the day - do they take a whole day off work to wait for a tradesman?

Service the air con?!! Hasn't student life changed?!!!

It gets hot where I live - aircon is to us what heating is to you...sort of...except we have heating too.

I am having problems with my partner not understanding the time involved for a PhD at the moment - I have just started my PhD (3 weeks in) and already my partner is getting grouchy at me coming home after 8pm every night and not keeping the house nice or cooking his meals. I used to work a cushy 9-5 job and so maybe its my own fault I did everything for him but now I just feel resentful after working a 10 hour day, to come back and cook/clean. Getting married in October next year... maybe I should call it all off until I finish!??

Help!!!!!!!!

Show him how to work the oven...I'm sure it wouldn't be out of the way for you to come home to dinner on the table once in a while. You shouldn't have to be working hard and doing everything at home.

emz2u, that is a hard one. I am guessing you had no idea he could behave this way (ie. unreasonably), until now when your PhD is rocking the relationship boat? It is hard when two things are so important to you personally - your PhD and your relationship.

Maybe you need to sit down and have a calm talk about it to him and explain that your PhD is important to you, and that you need him to be patient, a bit less demanding, and more helpful around the house.

I wish I had a boyfriend so that I could enter into this debate

maybe stop coming home at 8pm every night and start behaving like a proper PhD student - lots of day time TV, web surfing, and eating of chocolate biscuits

Because I'm lab based I don't think my boyf would expect me to stay hoome for deliveries, but I probably would so he wouldn't have to use up holiday. But he does enjoy my flexible hours, eg this morning he forgot his mobile and as I don't have to be in by a certain time I was able to trek the wrong way across London to give it to him before I went to work. However, he does do all the cooking

A suggestion for emz2u- how about during the week, let your man take care of household duties while you take over at the weekends?

He sounds awful. Remind him that things have moved on alot since women got the vote in 1918. I WOULD DUMP HIM. I know it sounds cruel and I'm sure he has many redeeming qualities, but he needs to know his behaviour is unacceptable

Btw, that was about emz2u's boyfriend!

I think piglet is allowed aircon because she is in Oz, am I right? Pretty much the norm.

Mel - am alright thanks. picked myself up. haven't done much tho tonight. planning to get down to work now.. made up with my boy. he said it was alright - my going on for 30 mins . trust me not to be doing that again in the near future...

hmm emz2u... i read somewhere that if you start your phd single, stay single. if you start married, stay married. emotional rollercoasters ain't gonna be good for your mental well-being during your phd.

not considering marriage til am done, personally.