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In this forum there are so many great examples of mothers who successfully managed to juggle family and PhD, and in some instances a job as well.

I think that it is important to remember that we all have our own way to cope with workloads and stress, and that there are no wonder-women or super-men.

If shirts are not ironed perfectly, or the dinner is not a gourmet dish, is perfectly fine. Working on a doctorate is stressful enough for a person without a family to look after, so we have to accept that some times, some things are going to be less than perfect. It is for a limited period of time - although when you are in the middle of it it does feels like it!

My daughter was born in the middle of my PhD, and I had serious health problems in the following year. My husband was very helpful, but he has a demanding job and he is often abroad on business, and both our families for different reasons couldn't be of help. It was obviously a difficult time, and thinking back, I don't know how I pulled through it, but somehow I did. I am not at all exceptional, and I don't want to give the impression that only exceptional people get through it, because we all have the necessary resources to cope with difficult times.

It is matter of finding the right balance for you, and being very flexible. If someone in the family is unwell, obviously everything is put on hold, etc.
If a deadline is missed it can be upsetting, but the world won't stop. I think that we all face the guilty feeling in a way or another.

One thing that is worth considering though, is that a PhD is not only made of researching and writing up. It is also about networking, presenting your research, publishing, teaching and being part of a department. These are all vital aspects of your PhD that will be important to fit in your PhD time if you want to stay in academia.

The thread doesn't apply to me, but just to say that I read all the posts and was very inspired; your dedication and methods for managing both are truly admirable. (up)

Artista, good luck trying to manage your time and don't be too hard on yourself. :-)

I have 3 children too and about to start my PhD. I had my 3rd child in my undergraduate degree final year, then proceeded to do a Masters degree. I managed to complete my masters although I had to study when the kids went to bed. I would do 7:30pm till 11:00am. During the dissertation stage I would cruise all the way till 4am. My youngest is 2, he tends to play with his older brothers, so that makes life a bit easier.

Sadly I lost my young brother while I was in the dissertation stage of my masters. Thankfully I had completed my draft, which my supervisor was happy with and I managed to hand in the dissertation and do my viva voce. On the 2nd January we received news that my grandad passed away. He was diabetic, although he was old it was upsetting as I loved him very much. I am due to start my PhD in February. I am hoping to manage somehow. The recent events have been hard and as a mom I have to try and be strong for the kids. I am just taking one day at a time. I am so thankful for this site because I can communicate with other students and moms. Sorry for writing a long one. A happy new year to all and lets make the most of the time we have with friends and family and keep encouraging each other.

Hi Artista,
Yes, I'm in this, too, I have two children, also funded. Finding it very hard, much harder than working full time (albeit with only one child then), especially as I also live quite far away from university, no family nearby and husband with equally busy schedule...but very rewarding, nonetheless! Would love to keep in touch!

Lets not forget the dads here as well! I have 4 kids - from 4 years old down to 3 weeks old!!! 3 of them go to nursery so I have the days free from 10 til 4pm. and then after bed from 8pm. When the 1st came along I had a mini-breakdown thinking that having kids would suck the creativity out of me but the reality is that I have the best support network possible. Having the wee buggers has forced me to realise that the PhD is, in many ways, a job. I see it as a 9-5pm (controversial opinion on here!) 3 year project. Plus kids have forced me into a certain routine and my writing has benefited. If I want to get work done I HAVE to do it between 10 and 4pm. I have a couple hours at the weekend and use them for admin stuff and organising the week to come. Plus I have no time to be a self-obsessed, back-stabbing, egotistical player in the department as I have to work from home and so I am totally focused on my thesis and getting publications out there. It's tough around deadline times trying to get enough sleep, especially with teething, viruses, infections, etc but if it gets done it gets done, and if it doesn't, it'll be done as soon as I can.

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Hey phd parents...I am so inspired!. I was all in doubt whether people even do it or not. A full time Phd with kids. I am not sure if I will get into this one I got in hand (some issues around it) but I will do it for sure.

Jay! 7.30pm to 11 am??????....I dont think I could possibly do these timings!...